[Deershire]

For a while now I have been feeling down. Not exactly suicidal, I've been there, I know the difference. It's just...I don't even know what it is, which makes it hard to explain to others to get help. (Trigger)I just feel like I'm stuck in a deep ditch called depression and the more I struggle to get out the further down I sink. Other people pretend not to see because they are afraid if they reach out they will get sucked down too. I don't know what to do. I can't take too much more of this. I wanna disappear sometimes.(/trigger) I can't seem to talk to my friends. My boyfriend is an hour away and I won't see him for another week. I can't talk about this over the phone or by text. So I have to wait. That's one for the problems right there...I miss him. This depression is making my hallucinations a lot worse too. When he was here they were much more under control. He was my protector. I can't talk to the group home either because they tell me to call crises care or want to put me in the hospital and crisis care is no help to me whatsoever. They tell me stuff I already know. I guess I just... I'm looking for somebody to talk to.

[CANDC]

Hey Deershire, sounds like you want the comfort of someone you can talk to. That is so okay here on Psych Central (PC). Just to tell your story can be a comfort.

I have had some tough times I went through and it was worse when I was eating too little or not at all. Good food helped me keep grounded.

Maybe your boyfriend is not the one to talk to about this anyway. Sometimes that just makes for more frustration on both sides. He just wants to hug you and you try and tell him things he does not understand.

Do you have options available for a therapist or a psychiatrist that can prescribe meds? Many people here at PC get relief from those.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

Originally Posted by Deershire

That's one for the problems right there...I miss him. This depression is making my hallucinations a lot worse too. When he was here they were much more under control. He was my protector. I can't talk to the group home either because they tell me to call crises care or want to put me in the hospital and crisis care is no help to me whatsoever. They tell me stuff I already know. I guess I just... I'm looking for somebody to talk to.

you know that story of the people in the quicksand and the more you struggle the deeper you sink? i guess why i brought up that story is you just have to wait out the depression phase and remember it does go away; nothing is forever. i just got out of a lengthy depression and a terrible relationship. and what's funny, looking back, that relationship caused most of the depression.

i am in a new relationship and it is about as long distance in america as you can get. i'm on the west coast and he is on the east coast. when he isn't around, my hallucinations get worse as well. i related to what you said about your boyfriend being your protector. i was also in group homes in my past and i had the same problem of when trying to bring things up with staff, i would just get sent to a mental hospital where nothing was even accomplished and i also cannot call crisis lines because like you, they tell me things i already know. and so, i just end up feeling as though i am wasting everyones time. i really relate to your post alot. and all i can say is, carry on. don't disappear because then it will alarm people; then when they do find you - the questioning. ffs, the questions.

just so you know, you can pm me about anything, at anytime and i will always reply to you. i feel like i am on psychcentral to just help clear the fog and be an ear to listen. i am very passionate about helping people see the hope life has to offer, i know some people need a new pair of glasses. (i am speaking in general) sure, life sucks - but can't we still find some happiness in the sun ray illuminating our path? i see the beauty in everything - even the most horrible situation. you have to, otherwise you just drown. (generally speaking again)