Schizoaffective Check In Thread #1

Breaking Dawn · Nov 19, 2021, 11:57 AM

It's pretty noisy in my head right now.

Deilla · Nov 19, 2021, 12:19 PM

I'm on a steroid pack right now. I think it's making me depressed. I'm not my usual self. I feel really bad today and I don't know why.

SlumberKitty · Nov 22, 2021, 05:43 PM

Had to take some olanzapine PRN today.

SlumberKitty · Nov 22, 2021, 05:44 PM

Are you feeling better @Deilla?

SlumberKitty · Nov 22, 2021, 06:04 PM

Anyone started decorating for Christmas? I have the tree up, but that's all. I am waiting for the topper to come in. I ordered it online. It's a kitty cat Angel.

Deilla · Nov 23, 2021, 04:32 AM

@SlumberKitty, hi! Yes, thanks. I do feel better now. It was just that one day where I really felt off. But I still have my evening depression. It's been starting around 3:30 pm. I get so sad I can't function. I have to go to bed. I sleep a few hours then I am up. I had one therapist tell me that my Circadia rhythm is off. So I'm trying to fix it bit by bit. It's hard. Cause once I'm up in the middle of the night, I feel so good I don't want to sleep. It's getting late now and I should consider going back to bed.

Deilla · Nov 23, 2021, 04:34 AM

I have a Christmas pillow on my sofa. That's as much as I've done so far. I have more Christmas covers, I just can't find them.

bpforever1 · Nov 23, 2021, 06:44 AM

I got the job as a real estate agent. I have to move now. So, life is an adventure. I am ok. I should be ecstatic but it was too easy to get the job so I am a bit jarred. I hope to earn more money but don't think I will earn a commission for another 3 to 4 months. So, we shall see.

Deilla · Nov 23, 2021, 10:48 AM

@bpforever1, I wish you great success with your new job. It sounds exciting. So cool that you have to move. Best of luck to you!

bpforever1 · Nov 24, 2021, 03:36 AM

Thank you everybody! I will do my best. I am going into real estate to do my best and be a winner. I like challenges and will try to be the best that I can be. I've been watching videos about real estate selling. It ain't easy but I will think of it as a mind-game and marathon. I know I need to be fit mentally and physically to do this. I am going to do real estate, not try it. My parents are not supportive either. They are too old and don't have the time and energy for me anymore. I understand. I'm literally on my own. I have practically no money either so need to swim and survive. Life is tough but I want to stop worrying about money and earn enough to be comfortable, not just survive. I will do this!

Deilla · Nov 24, 2021, 04:20 AM

I'm doing alright this morning. I've been relaxing to solfeggio frequencies, reading and cooking. I made a chipotle chicken chili. It came out good. I used stuff from the food bank. I have plenty of food now. And tomorrow I will get some turkey to bring home. I'll make turkey salad with it. I'm excited! I plan to have a nice day with my mom and then later I will chat with my sister on Discord.

SlumberKitty · Dec 10, 2021, 02:53 PM

I'm doing pretty good on the Olanzapine. Not too many hallucinations. Feeling good about the holidays. Have lots of fun things planned so should keep my mind off of other stuff. Mostly I am doing pretty good I think.

Deilla · Dec 10, 2021, 03:54 PM

Today was stressful for me because I didn't have access to my online therapy. I put a pause on it to save some money. Today, I binged on a cake, chewed lots of Nicorette gum and felt overwhelmed. I tried journaling, but it's not the same as posting in your therapy room. I'm hoping to post more here so I can cope better. My pause is for 2 weeks.

SlumberKitty · Dec 10, 2021, 03:55 PM

HUGS @Deilla we are always listening. HUGS Kit

Breaking Dawn · Dec 10, 2021, 03:59 PM

I've been playing games a lot. I fulfilled an important goal, & I accomplished another one unexpectedly.

SlumberKitty · Dec 10, 2021, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I've been playing games a lot. I fulfilled an important goal, & I accomplished another one unexpectedly.

Great News!

Brego · Dec 11, 2021, 12:07 AM

I quit smoking for like 2 weeks. I went back yesterday. Had a day of not a lot today. I tore them up and threw them away. That was a mistake because I wasted my money! I am glad that I experimented with this. I got so happy during the point when I was not smoking. It was so refreshing. I am going to still count November 21, 2021 as my quit date. I am going to count today and yesterday as another mistake. One pack and like 9 into the other. I would probably have smoked more but I think that it was good. Great even for me.

Breaking Dawn · Dec 11, 2021, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brego

I quit smoking for like 2 weeks. I went back yesterday. Had a day of not a lot today. I tore them up and threw them away. That was a mistake because I wasted my money! I am glad that I experimented with this. I got so happy during the point when I was not smoking. It was so refreshing. I am going to still count November 21, 2021 as my quit date. I am going to count today and yesterday as another mistake. One pack and like 9 into the other. I would probably have smoked more but I think that it was good. Great even for me.

Good for you, @Brego! I'm proud of you. And I think your attitude is great. I agree, your quit date was Nov. 21, & there are mistakes along the way. I believe determination usually wins the battle & the mistakes get weaker & further apart until they don't happen anymore, just like when we're learning a new job. Good luck, Brego!

Deilla · Dec 11, 2021, 12:40 PM

I felt really bad this morning. I was tired and dissociating. I had really negative feelings. I was worried. But I put my sunlamp on and started listening to a Webinar about setting boundaries. I think the light and the webinar helped lift my spirits. I don't feel as bad now.

Deilla · Dec 12, 2021, 04:10 PM

This morning was awful again. I had really negative thoughts. But I tried DBT and self-soothing. I kept working at it until I felt better. Now I'm dissociating. I'm not sure why.

Breaking Dawn · Dec 12, 2021, 04:37 PM

I do ok at times. In between, I have a tough time. I work on that in various ways. I remind myself that I can be strong & that it will be better later. I really appreciate that I am allowed to be here.