[bpforever1]

I'm going to focus on my current job. I thought about returning to school but it costs money. I will just do with what I have and see if there are other jobs out there which I can do eventually. I am tired. I need to sleep.

[WastingAsparagus]

Eh, not doing so hot today... Just feel kind of weird due to med changes in the past week. I don't trust my doctor. It seems like he wants to go a certain direction, but doesn't really know what's best for me. Hm. I hate when that happens. It's so weird because there are so many variables out there that can affect people in different ways. But I just know when something's wrong.

[bpforever1]

My manager said I would be receiving more students. I have to meet with the head teacher to prepare. I am tired!! I don't want more students!! I hope the company hires more decent teachers. I don't need to work that hard to earn money. The money is nice but my sanity is more important. I just wanted to work 20 hours a week. It looks like they are going to pile the students on me. I don't understand the reason because there are other teachers available. I am not the only teacher! I feel flattered though but am wondering if the company is being cheap and not hiring too many teachers. I don't know. Thus, I will meet with the head teacher and see what happens. I am really exhausted though. I can't refuse students and am hoping they hire more teachers. I feel stuck. I hope I survive! What a life!

[bpforever1]

My brother is so stupid that it makes me sad. I told him about the manager wanting to give me more students. And, then he said didn't you tell them you have a mental illness? He is dumb as a rock and has empathy of a rock. No, dummy, I did not tell them. I feel as if that he is my brother, then I can't help but being a dummy too. I wish I can receive some advice or support. May be, I will ask in another forum. I feel ok now but tired. I just don't know how it would be if I got more students.

[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

My manager said I would be receiving more students. I have to meet with the head teacher to prepare. I am tired!! I don't want more students!! I hope the company hires more decent teachers. I don't need to work that hard to earn money. The money is nice but my sanity is more important. I just wanted to work 20 hours a week. It looks like they are going to pile the students on me. I don't understand the reason because there are other teachers available. I am not the only teacher! I feel flattered though but am wondering if the company is being cheap and not hiring too many teachers. I don't know. Thus, I will meet with the head teacher and see what happens. I am really exhausted though. I can't refuse students and am hoping they hire more teachers. I feel stuck. I hope I survive! What a life!

Just a suggestion, but can you tell the manager or whomever you talk to there that you don't want to work more than 20 hours? You don't need to tell them about mental illness or anything like that. Just be firm about it. That's my advice. It's tough to put your foot down sometimes but it's good to treat yourself like that. I mean in terms of sanity.

[bpforever1]

Thank you so much, wasting asparagus! I will do this then. I am trying to delay meeting my head teacher because of this. I really don't want to work more than 20 hours a week. Your idea is good!

[bpforever1]

I took my work schedule and erased some hours which I was available. I hope they don't ask me to change it. I was waking up at 4:40 am to do my 6 am classes. I basically don't want to do this anymore. I do have one 6 am class but it is not that bad. I will tweak my schedule some more to prevent them from giving me classes too early in the morning. I don't want to wake up to some ornery student who is hellbent on making my day miserable. I had enough of those type of students.


Otherwise, I'm doing well today. Life is not bad!!

[bpforever1]

I'm doing well. I went shopping for food then cleaned my apartment. Now, I am washing my clothes. I also had one student to teach. I feel fine!

[Breaking Dawn]

I am so schizoaffective! But I'm ok. Thank God!

[bpforever1]

I'm tired again!! I fell asleep after my morning shift. At least, I have time to sleep. I will be ok.

[bpforever1]

I met with the head teacher and am ok. I realized he has much more experience than I do. I was grateful for his advice. So far, they have not given me any new students. I am ok for now. I have time to sleep and relax. I realize the head teacher has his schedule full. I think this is great for him. On the other hand, I need to maintain my sanity. I hope they realize that giving me more than I can handle is not a good idea. I will keep my fingers crossed that they slow down or don't give me students for awhile. I need to try out his ideas on my students and this takes time. I am happy for now!!

[Breaking Dawn]

Not so good, but it will be ok.

[bpforever1]

They are giving me more students!! argh!! I am going to have a major conniption!! ARRGH!! I need to punch myself out and calm down. I just had the meeting with the head teacher!! Once I reach 20 hours, I feel like rejecting more students!! But, I'm not there yet. So, I will just remain calm.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm doing okay today. Doing a lot of self soothing.

[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

They are giving me more students!! argh!! I am going to have a major conniption!! ARRGH!! I need to punch myself out and calm down. I just had the meeting with the head teacher!! Once I reach 20 hours, I feel like rejecting more students!! But, I'm not there yet. So, I will just remain calm.

I remember when I taught, anything more than 20 hours was too difficult for me (I was also in graduate school at the time). It's because 20 teaching hours is really like a 40-hour week in terms of preparation and stuff...

Now I don't teach as many hours...

[bpforever1]

I was so tired that I slept during my break. So far, they only gave me two more students one lesson each week. It is not too bad. I am still below 20 hours so am hoping that my delayed response to accepting students will give me some time. I feel fine now that I slept. I am always tired though. I should drink coffee. Sometimes, I forget to drink coffee. I drink about 1 to 2 cups a day when I remember.


I am doing well now. So far nobody is complaining about me! This is nice!! If I can keep it this way, it would be great. But, sometimes I get lazy and don't prepare as well. I learned that first impressions are important so I need to focus on the first lesson. I learned some things from the head coach. I want to implement them and am slowly starting to do so. At least, the company is giving me support which is nice.


I'm thinking of getting orthokeratology lenses and stop wearing glasses. They are expensive though so I have to think about it carefully. I want to improve my appearance so I feel good about myself. I am waiting to hear from the eye doctor's office for an appointment.

Overall, I am happy!

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm better today & am glad about that.

[bpforever1]

I'm doing ok today. I took my medication as usual. I feel great!! I received an appointment from the eye doctor. I will see how it goes. I am doing well. I slept well and walked up the stairs just now. I am eating healthy too. I try not to eat junk food but am still overweight though. I am feeling better. I have a good schedule now so life is not bad. I could exercise more. I will try to do this. I am beginning to like the students I have. They are nice to me. I do have two new students though and will focus on doing a great initial lesson. I feel grateful for all that I have. Life could not be better!

[bpforever1]

I was feeling tired today and slept during my break. Now, I feel fine. The medication is making me sleepy. Oh well.

[WastingAsparagus]

I am feeling good today. I felt okay all week. I need to work on a few things, though. I need to work on being more self-compassionate. It's hard, but it pays off.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi everyone! You all hang in there. Ok?

[bpforever1]

I was still tired this morning. And, I took a nap again. Now, I feel fine. I am still wondering if I should get orthokeratology lenses but realize the eye doctor has to see if they can work on me first. I am exhausted most of the time. I am happy I did not get too many students yet. Erasing my early morning slots was a good idea. I took my medication this morning and am doing fine otherwise. I am teaching today- until night. I will be ok!

[bpforever1]

I have a student today. Then, I will go shopping. I was thinking that I should return to school one day. My job has no guarantees for the future. I want to get a masters in something science. I realize there are people with mental illness who do nursing, psychology, and even genetics counseling. The last field is one of interest to me. Although it is hard to get into a genetics counseling program, I believe I can get into one somewhere if I try. I just have to try. I like teaching but don't believe I will have this job for a long time. The economy here is lagging and also there are too many teachers here also. I was blessed to get a job. And, I will do my best to do my job until I try to get into school again. I am so excited about these times where there are advances in science and technology. I thought about just teaching until I retire but if I can combine teaching, science, and helping others this would be amazing. I have to build my stamina though. I am always sleepy. I'm doing a good job so far. But, I'm getting more students at night. I need to pace myself. I am happy these days and feel really grateful for my job. I also am grateful for the medication. Hopefully, in two years I can apply to some masters program and get in and do well.

[bpforever1]

Well, I thought about returning to the states to do a masters and it does not make sense to me to do so. I really like it here. Peaceful and safe. I need to focus on what I can do here. I believe if I keep doing a good job, my job will turn into a full-time one. So, I won't become rich or anything. But, I have some free time and am happy so far. I know of some teachers who got promoted within the company. So, may be, I can find out if there is such a policy for good teachers. I don't mind teaching and actually love teaching. I can stick with this job until I can't do it anymore. I just want to enjoy my time off. I think going back to school and incurring a debt is not wise at my age. I also can't work here anymore. I love this country. I hope I can stay here until I die. I must invest my life here. I fit in nicely here. My job is to teach medical English so it is not as if I am teaching basic English only. I like my job. I love it here. I'm not as stressed here. I think I should take these facts into consideration. I feel grateful about my job. I hope it lasts until I don't want to do it anymore. I should feel thankful for what I have, not what I want.

[bpforever1]

I am doing well. I contacted the head of a genetics counseling program here. I hope to hear from him. I would not mind going back to school here if possible. I really like it here. So far, all is good. I feel great today for once! I exercised a bit by walking. Life is not bad. If I hear from the head, I hope it is good news. If not, I will just do teaching for awhile. I like my job but sometimes feel really tired. I feel grateful nevertheless for my job. This Friday, I will see if I can get orthokeratology lenses too. I am happy!! Hopefully, I won't have to wear my glasses anymore. We shall see!