[SlumberKitty]

I'm doing okay. I am doing better than last week when I was suicidal. And my kitty cat is back home from the vet hospital so that makes me happy.

[SlumberKitty]

Had some visual hallucinations this morning though

[SlumberKitty]

Today I feel rather sad. No....sad isn't the right word....melancholy perhaps. I thought about calling in to work but instead I got my Dad up and he made breakfast for me (I was running late because I slept in an extra hour and had to wash my hair). But I thought about calling in just so I could have a mental health day. Just zone out and watch TV and such. My weekend is going to be so busy that I feel like I need some time just to chill but I didn't call out, I came to work anyway. I still have one sick day to use for the year so I do want to use it (it is use it or lose it). But I should plan a day off. Otherwise my parents get too worried about me. It did feel good to sleep in an extra hour. I'm still a bit tired though.

[Deilla]

I'm doing well today. I had a pile of packages on my coffee table. Like since September. I finally opened most of them. And then I felt motivated to do housework. My back aches a little bit but it's not too bad. I still have energy. I want to try to vacuum the one section of my carpet that is clear. Then I'll call it a day. I swept yesterday. Eventually, I'll organize.

[Breaking Dawn]

I kind of feel like I'm in limbo, inbetween before & later. So I'm not sure but I think I should just take my time & follow my instincts.

[WastingAsparagus]

I am good. Had a little anxiety today but nothing much.

[Deilla]

I feel tired today. I'm pushing myself to do basic self-care. I don't think I will do housework today.

🎢My bipolar ***** switch flipped on when I was feeling a tactile while trying to fix the printer.

[Deilla]

I've been ill off and on these past 3 days. At the moment I feel Okay. Emotionally I am doing fine. I just feel very tired. I've also been sleeping a lot.

[Deilla]

Today I had a migraine. So I haven't felt that well. But it's been a good day. I picked up meds and took my trash out. I've mainly relaxed and I stayed away from the news. Tonight I will go to bed early. Hope everyone is doing well!

[Breaking Dawn]

I did better after this morning. I didn't fulfill my goal of going to the market, though. So I plan on doing that tomorrow. I hope it isn't crowded, being Saturday.

[~*glass_owl*~]

I picked up my prescriptions which almost had to be put back. Talked to my parents. Talked to my boyfriend about how much it hurts we can't see each other, because we are in code red which means we are in a stay at home order and can't see other people inside. Went to the grocery store. Then spent too much time online on forums, because I'm lonely. Now I have a headache.

[Deilla]

I'm up early this morning. I fixed myself a nice breakfast and I'm drinking iced coffee. Emotionally I feel good. I still have a bit of a headache, though. I'll try to get more sleep later.

[Breaking Dawn]

I woke up this morning feeling better, having had some restful sleep. I'm planning my day, hoping it all works out, so experiencing some tender emotions.

[~*glass_owl*~]

I brewed some decaf coffee, talked to my mom, and looked at my art desk that appears to be ready for Monday for my employment specialist. I have an art degree and the long term goal is to create art to sell or at least for therapeutic reasons.

[Deilla]

I feel a bit sad at the moment. I'm not sure why. I slept about 6 hours last night and I've been productive this morning. I think maybe I'm overwhelmed by my kitchen. I am running out of room for stuff. I may have to just start donating stuff or throwing things I don't use away. I feel like I've got a huge mountain to climb. It's important to me now because I've really been getting into cooking.

[Breaking Dawn]

I kind of strove to escape from myself, or from "others" most of today. I yearn so much for quietness & privacy within my mind.

[~*glass_owl*~]

I got scared because I read about clozaril. I took a long nap and started getting hyper vigilant from fear of being put on it. I started a knowing the nature of fear meditation while I was half awake, because apparently I know it that well and do it that often, and that stopped it (I learned it through Shambala). I was afraid because I am on 160 mg of Latuda and therapy and my doctor mentioned clozaril 5 years ago and this one mentioned adding another antipsychotic, but at our last meeting she seemed pretty happy with how stable I was and my PTSD therapy seems to be going well.

[Deilla]

I feel frustrated this morning and I feel sad. I've been having issues with my online therapy. My T didn't respond for 2 days this week. She left me a note saying she would respond first thing Saturday morning. She never did. I made the decision to quit therapy. I've had enough of this. It happens quite frequently. I have 3 days left on my subscription. It's too late to switch therapists. Plus, I've been through 4 of them since August and they all ignore most of what I say. I live alone and I don't have family support. So I relied heavily on my online T to be there for me. Now I will have no one. It's scary to think about. I'm not sure what I will do. I guess I will try to meditate more and rely on my faith.

[~*glass_owl*~]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I feel frustrated this morning and I feel sad. I've been having issues with my online therapy. My T didn't respond for 2 days this week. She left me a note saying she would respond first thing Saturday morning. She never did. I made the decision to quit therapy. I've had enough of this. It happens quite frequently. I have 3 days left on my subscription. It's too late to switch therapists. Plus, I've been through 4 of them since August and they all ignore most of what I say. I live alone and I don't have family support. So I relied heavily on my online T to be there for me. Now I will have no one. It's scary to think about. I'm not sure what I will do. I guess I will try to meditate more and rely on my faith.

You probably already have reasons you aren't doing this, but mental health centers will work with you and you can get on medicaid. If you're disabled you can be on medicare and get on Humana. Humana has Mindstrong, which is a therapy program that works no matter where you are it works by telephone or zoom or something (I don't use it but they are constantly calling me and I know it's remote).


There is always the crisis line, which I think they changed to a three digit number. Stay safe and well!

[Deilla]

Originally Posted by ~*glass_owl*~

You probably already have reasons you aren't doing this, but mental health centers will work with you and you can get on medicaid. If you're disabled you can be on medicare and get on Humana. Humana has Mindstrong, which is a therapy program that works no matter where you are it works by telephone or zoom or something (I don't use it but they are constantly calling me and I know it's remote).


There is always the crisis line, which I think they changed to a three digit number. Stay safe and well!

Thank you! I have Humana. I will look into that. Yea, telephone or Zoom would be good for me.

I feel better today. My therapist didn't respond today so I decided to switch therapists. I found a good one. It took a few tries. She's already responded. I feel like it's a good fit. So I'll see how it goes.

[~*glass_owl*~]

Originally Posted by Deilla

Thank you! I have Humana. I will look into that. Yea, telephone or Zoom would be good for me.

I feel better today. My therapist didn't respond today so I decided to switch therapists. I found a good one. It took a few tries. She's already responded. I feel like it's a good fit. So I'll see how it goes.

Sounds good, I hope you find a good therapist.

[Breaking Dawn]

I hope it's ok to say this, that I am so grateful to God for bringing me to you. I am so messed up sometimes, I feel like I'm in an odd world, very strange. But there's this other part of me that seems to know I'm ok & says to hang in there. That something or someone brought me here, & you help me get through a lot. Thank you, dear friends!

[Deilla]

I'm a little stressed. I have some difficult chores to handle today. And for some reason, I have a migraine again this morning. My male cat keeps crying. I'm not sure why. I've fed him wet food and dry food. I haven't been able to give him attention yet. I've been taking care of my own needs. One thing he likes is sleeping in the dryer. I think I will warm it up for him. I keep my clean clothes in there. He sleeps on them. I'll try that.

[~*glass_owl*~]

I had a scare last night, but I'm healing from it. I think it's just my mind playing tricks on me. I feel pretty safe and happy at home right now. I took my meds late last night and my sleep patterns have been weird. I did another layer on my watercolor painting. I plan to go to call my boyfriend and meditate still and eat lunch. Maybe I'll read some in my recovery book.