Roll call

here, and accounted for...memories are created for the souls joy costello. .

I am . . . slightly too here for someone with two massive exams this week.

Here.

lol... Don't let us become your excuse not to study!

Oh, I hardly need you all to find reasons not to study!!

hope your exams went well.

Hi. I woke up at five am in a panic. I have two, 3-hour exams today. I spent most of last night in a mad paranoiac state about how they're never going to admit me to practice even if I pass the exams, because I'm a nutter. (I have a lot of paranoia about people preventing me from doing things because I'm a nutter.)
This really doesn't bode well.

costello is going to be mad at me.

i never went to sleep

Can you go to sleep now, hun?

Did you eat anything?

I'm just going to rant here for a second.
I graduated from school when I was sixteen. I had a degree when I was 18 and a half. If it weren't for the ****ing psychiatrists, the exams I am writing today would have been written years ago. I want them all to suffer the same torture they put me through. I can't move past this anger, it's too much. They wasted so much of my life, my time drugging me for no ****ing purpose and now they still harass me about needing to drug myself. **** no.
I'm ready to give up just because what's the ****ing point? They're going to take it all away again whenever htey feel like it.

Good Luck with your exam

It's like Frankie says in the song - never really listen cause they never ****ing care the way I feel inside they can never ****ing hear.

I'm not mad. Did you not go to bed or did you not go to sleep?

If you haven't slept yet, see if you can now.

I'm here.

Good luck with your exams, fish. Just put one foot in front of the other.

i slept. 4am to 7am.
thats fine

You have no idea how many of them are nutters too!

Well, that's something at least. Can you lay off the caffeine for a while? If you're not sleeping, all that coffee's not going to help at all.

I'm still not clear on if that person you swung the shovel at last night was real or an hallucination. But if you're up all night, running around, blacking out, that's not good, newtus. With the lack of sleep, the caffeine buzz, and the blood sugar issues you've probably got going on because you're not eating, it's not surprising you're not thinking clearly.

Really, cut the coffee intake in half and don't have any after 3, ok? And get yourself at least one decent meal today - that includes some protein. You can't live on pickles. I think you said you're vegetarian or vegan, right? Please have some eggs if you're vegetarian; beans, if you're vegan. (I really wish you'd drop the diet. You need some animal protein.) And no sugar.

If you want to go without the meds, that's your privilege, but you'll need to put some wellness practices in place or you'll end up in jail or the hospital. And rightly so.

I am being an effective parent and husband, I believe. I hope the posters here are finding help for themselves, so they can live good lives, instead of suffering needlessly. I feel certain there are not easy answers to lifes problems, I've had to work and suffer to solve most of mine. I can't solve anyone elses problems.

Thanks.

I'll always have the help of MCR - that's in response to above.

was real. my dad.
im not really physically blacking out.
i woke up. like "woke up"
yea on my porch.
but i woke up while i was running too
prob some depersonalization thing
i lost time. but i was still going. then i just came back.
idk

not vegan/veggie. just picky eater.
i ate chicken today so thats good


i dont know what to say.
do you think i should be in a hospital
i wonder if people think i should be in jail?

Ah, I see. Were you fighting?

I wondered about that too. Thanks for clarifying.

I'm really happy to hear that! Thanks!

If you're a danger to yourself or others, yes. If you're not, then no.

yea. its extrmely stressful for me to be around his drinking. yelling at the top of his lungs being verbally aggressive and acting reckless.
then he goes and drives to work. i worry.
he almost died twice.
i was the only one there
then the 2nd time had to have literal blood on me from him having a drunken falling over accident.
just..blood coming out of his head...split open
i had on a 100% white shirt.
just turned red.

and yea i recognize the wording
im evasive when mental health pros ask me
i know it too well.
im able to sidestep them

just a lot of stress.
a LOT.

here, slept alot today... maybe a blood sugar thing. otherwise a good sunny day... all this talk of paranoia, paranoid delusions, reminds me of 12yrs ago when the world was supposed to end. Remember Y2K ??? that computer glitch where the gov't made average citizens paranoid.
My grandam used to say... "This too shall pass." and so it did. We're all still here.

good luck with the exams fishsandwhich. and Costello, as usual, great advice.

take care everyone. it all begins with self-care. If i could not stage thru R.E.M. sleep, each night, i too would probably relapse into psychosis.

Sounds very frightening.

Oh no I'm well aware, it's just I'm official. Stamped and sealed and signed insane.

I am not in possesion of the knowledge of the definition of MCR, respectfully.

tis

im so stressed