Roll Call Take Two

Costello, I have found what should be your theme song:



(Yes, I know this is the Glee version. Don't judge me.)

I doubt that . . .

im back. by popular demand.
and by something that happened in my life. terrible.

sorry for the disgusting comment.
i was jw about the icon of the cat that costello had.

Hi Newtus, good to see you again! May I ask what happened?

(I'm also off to bed soon, so if I disappear it's not you; it's that nasty little thing called "sleeping".)

Okay, I'll bite... bathroom spray. She''s going in my cabinet using mine when she has her own that she's not using but it's okay to use up mine of which she had the audacity to put back an empty canister. WF? I have another canister in there and am thinking of taking that out and just bringing it in when needed.

Patience as this too shall pass.

'm here. My laptop died so I may not be on much.

i got into a fight with someone i used to know. verbal.
trying to get my mind off it all.

i keep thinking about all the things people my age are probably doing. having fun with others...

hm..im almost 22. ive spent my 21st year of my life not doing anything. its gonna be over soon and theres nothing to show to say, "hey i did ____ when I was 21"
from my birthday month all the way back to it now...

...nothing. i have nothing...
21 is a milestone to me. and i have nothing.

welll.aaccordding to when my bday month is i can say i spent my 21st year of life mostly in a psychotic episode. my bday month is august and it started in..hm..yep august. about 95% of this past year of my life in a psychosis. it was bad too. SHTF when when my dad almost died in september. it built and i almost went to jail in february in a delusional psychosis. then the hospital in march..the next month. then almost again in april because i had no meds and i was afraid they were going to come put me in anyway. they actually almost did a few days later. they came looking for me when the bed they saved for me at the local psych ward was still empty hours later. i never went. i dodged that bullet by evading numerous phone calls that kept ringing my phone from the county mental health clinic.

im on meds but im still not ok.
its like im taking placebos. nothings working. i dont think i am though.

Sorry to hear it, icky. Is a new one in the budget?

Has your son had his b-day party yet?

lol... So I have a theme song now.

I've always kind of thought of this as my theme song: (it's the "flying away on a wing and a prayer" line that gets me), but I like yours too. Can I have two theme songs? Is that too confusing? My sister, the marketing prof, would probably scold me for not having a clear brand.

While we're on the topic, I have this one song stuck in my head it's been there for days!!! It's from a show we're watching.
Having chocolate soy milk for breakfast. Yay!

Are we giving our theme songs now? Because I love music. Mine right now seems to be 'The Point of it All' by Amanda Palmer (it's a rough song, warning you, could be triggering).

"And you're learning that just because they call themselves friends doesn't mean they'll call."

It's a beautiful song, but sad. I relate to it a lot, since my real life friends seem to be dropping like flies now that I'm less able to hide my psychosis. Amanda Palmer actually has a lot of songs I relate to. Mental stuff seems to be a common theme.

Anyway, sorry I've been gone. I've been dealing with heavy stuff in the family, and trying to help keep everything together. I had my EEG earlier this week, so I should be getting some sort of diagnoses within the month. It's...kind of sad when I'm so used to being mentally ill that I'm hoping for schizophrenia as opposed to epilepsy. At least I'm used to identifying as mentally ill. I don't know how I'd deal with the other, or anything 'physical'. And the symptoms are the same anyway, in my case, so...I don't know. I'd rather stay on my current meds than go on the med merry-go-round again by adding anti-convulsants.

Not to mention the fact that even if I do have epilepsy, I'm likely to be diagnosed with a psychotic disorder anyway, since seizures don't account for anything close to all of my symptoms. :/

Funny story though. My voices came back a few nights ago for a short time. Called me 'Rob'. I was all like '....who the heck is Rob?!' I don't even have a boy's name!

I hope you get a clean bill of physical health, Coyotetaught!
That's really funny they called you the wrong name! I've never had that happen.

Ahhh that song you posted sums you up more perfectly. It's so very 80s though

I sincerely hope this isn't my theme song, but it has been in my head ALL DAY and my god, the video is classic:



Anyway, I'm here. Saw my solicitor today and made all the court filings for suing my ex-psychiatrist.

I hope that goes well

Hee! I would have never placed this as your theme song!
I hope you will have a good outcome to your lawsuit.

Just be happy you can't see me in my totally rad denim-on-denim ensemble

ETA: I think this would be my theme:
(Sorry it's in French. I can make a crap translate if anyone cares: You've followed your dreams to the peak of this small town, lost and won, fell into the void. [Its a pity/What a shame!] You don't listen anymore to the sound of the rolling waves. Where has this sweet innocence gone - hope, love, the dreams of childhood? [Its a pity/What a shame!] You don't listen anymore to the sound of your beating heart. [So] Howl to the moon, cry out to the sun - be a bit savage so as to have a bit of liberty. Oh, this is a song to break down the walls and the chains of ennui. A song for all those who dream of a piece of paradise./ Why is this night so full of questions? What prize, my spirit, is there in searching for answers? [Have] courage. The night is always darkest before the dawn./ But how do you find/seize this voice of wisdom - a heart, broken, in need of tenderness. Have courage. This journey has only just begun. )
It reminds me of my second-favourite poem, from Konstantinos Kavafis:
http://www.cavafy.com/poems/content.asp?id=74&cat=1

Apologies, I will stop nerding out now.

Here and confused. My son woke up with a fever and has been lethargic most of the day. I feel fine and have no fever, but have been dizzy today and my arms won't quit shaking. Don't know what to do about the shaking or what's causing it.

Here. Listening to Hearts of Space on the radio and wishing I weren't already depressed about going to work again on Monday.

Maybe you're sick, icky? You might just need some rest.

Here. Committing an act of criminal sartorial insanity by wearing socks with Birkenstocks. I'm feeling really out of joint today.

Here, doing much better today, just lots of small arguments with hubby.

Glad to hear you're a bit better, Icky. How's your son doing?

Kinda not so good at the moment there are spies and cyborgs after me and am scared
my husband says there not real but am not sure he is right
i can see them i must kill them ...

I got out of the hospital last week. I had a breakdown. In other news there is a bunch of stressors right now. While I was in the hospital, we needed a new car. Then we have an infestation of rats and mice. Then if that isn't enough, mom is having surgery (her literally yearly surgery but different each year... its just that she has so many stupid health problems), my brother is developing health problems and so is my dad. The only thing putting a gigantic smile on my face is gaming technology. I just love it so much. That is all. Sorry about the cyborgs Alexx21.