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  #201  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 09:56 PM
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Roll Call Four

Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. --Pema Chodron
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"Hear me, my Chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever."--Chief Joseph

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  #202  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 09:57 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
you do too
Not true. I have never ever ever looked at you with sheer hate - or even almost sheer hate. Never. Ever. Ever.
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  #203  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 09:59 PM
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Quote:
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You didn't take your meds?
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
That's too bad.

or idk. you know.
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  #204  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:00 PM
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you wouldve never known that i didnt take my meds if i said didnt say no
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  #205  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:02 PM
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you wouldve never known that i didnt take my meds if i said didnt say no
You started this evening posting indecipherable messages. What should I think about that?
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  #206  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:04 PM
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hey... i feel indecipherable. but i can keep it together long enough to slap on a smile and say i'm fine.

saw a T today. my T comes back on tuesday.
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  #207  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
You started this evening posting indecipherable messages. What should I think about that?
but how does that mean that im off my meds. to succumb to method psychiatry. wait indecipherable? nooo
wait a min. they werent coded. did you get the messiah from there?
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  #208  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:06 PM
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hey... i feel indecipherable. but i can keep it together long enough to slap on a smile and say i'm fine.
im not sure if your making fun of me or? idk.
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  #209  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:06 PM
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im not sure if your making fun of me or? idk.
no im not. i was talking about myself.....
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Thanks for this!
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  #210  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:07 PM
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no im not. i was talking about myself.....

oh im really sorry.
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  #211  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:10 PM
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but how does that mean that im off my meds.
I didn't say it meant you were off your meds. I asked you what I was to think about it. What does it mean? What are you trying to say to me?
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  #212  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
hey... i feel indecipherable. but i can keep it together long enough to slap on a smile and say i'm fine.

saw a T today. my T comes back on tuesday.
You're real T is coming back from bear wrestling?
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  #213  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:14 PM
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You're real T is coming back from bear wrestling?
yes...
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  #214  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:14 PM
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I didn't say it meant you were off your meds. I asked you what I was to think about it. What does it mean? What are you trying to say to me?
oooh.what does "thats too bad" mean.

what im trying to say it and this is going to backfire on me but..i lied to you about something.
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  #215  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
oooh.what does "thats too bad" mean.
What did it mean to you?

Quote:
what im trying to say it and this is going to backfire on me but..i lied to you about something.
And why would you do that?
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  #216  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:17 PM
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yes...
You've just about survived it!!!
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  #217  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:19 PM
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What did it mean to you?
that ive been shunned

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Originally Posted by costello View Post
And why would you do that?
because i didnt want you to alienate me. but this was about something awhile back.
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  #218  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:21 PM
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You've just about survived it!!!
yes, dont think ill sleep tonight. got a whole weekend to catch up...
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  #219  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:23 PM
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yes, dont think ill sleep tonight. got a whole weekend to catch up...
Sleep anyway. Never miss a chance to sleep.
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  #220  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
that ive been shunned
Why would it mean that?

Quote:
because i didnt want you to alienate me. but this was about something awhile back.
Have I ever alienated anyone?
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  #221  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:26 PM
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newt-

i think u are just overreacting... u seem like u are in an argument? hope ur okay.....

costello-

yes i talked to another T today. he seemed like i was OK. i told him about messages to me, ones that i get. about guns. i almost bought one today but thats just

another story.
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  #222  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:26 PM
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Why would it mean that?


Have I ever alienated anyone?
idk. but i have no clue whether youve done that or not to anyone.

but your gonna have less compassion on me because how i live my life i mean.
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  #223  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:29 PM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
costello-

yes i talked to another T today. he seemed like i was OK. i told him about messages to me, ones that i get. about guns. i almost bought one today but thats just

another story.
A different T than you saw on Monday?
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  #224  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:31 PM
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idk. but i have no clue whether youve done that or not to anyone.

but your gonna have less compassion on me because how i live my life i mean.
It sounds like this is more about how you feel about yourself than what I might think about you.
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  #225  
Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:31 PM
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The music helped a little, but then I turned it off since he's busy doing stuff... If anything, it just made it easier to retreat. Which I kind of need right now, but he doesn't want me to since he thinks it's going to make things worse. IDK. After a discussion gone awry, I don't want to even think of saying another word.

Fighting back the urge to scream & throw things... It just sounds like it would make me feel better. Very fidgetty; uncomfortable in my own skin.

I like most of those quotes. Some of them are a little too sappy & happyhappy joyjoy for me, but for the most part, are filled with a great deal of good advice... But I think, given a moment of stillness right now, my heart might explode from my chest. Stillness makes me more anxious. I just need to be moving & have my mind pacified by chaos.

Good luck with your T, junk!! And I don't hate you newtus.
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