Roll Call Eight

Aug 14, 2013, 12:35 AM

@ Sometimes: sending hugs your way too! Sorry you didn't get longer than 2 hours of sleep. Last night I felt like I woke up every two hours. I felt tired @ work today & feel really tired now but my brain won't shut off for me to sleep. And I've got to be up @ 7am for work! Ugh!

The_little_didgee · Aug 14, 2013, 03:58 AM

It's too early to be thinking. I woke up at 2:45.

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 14, 2013, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

It's too early to be thinking. I woke up at 2:45.

That's about when I fell asleep again...three more hours so five not too bad. Sorry you had trouble sleeping too.

costello · Aug 14, 2013, 06:54 AM

I slept badly too. Having one of those mornings when making a pot of coffee is too difficult for me. I've made two failed attempts so far. Three's a charm.

Aug 14, 2013, 08:03 AM

I'm sorry that none of you guys could sleep last night

I'm having the opposite problem, sleeping 12-14 hours though it is disturbed sleep, then maybe napping in the day too if I cba with staying awake. Trying to sleep away my feelings too. But I'm like you Atypical in that if I have something the next day, then I'm awake most of the night beforehand. Are you worrying about the dentist? That's why I'm awake before stuff, worrying about silly things :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

Willow: I know exactly how you feel. I have had to force myself to stay out of bed. In a way maybe it is good your mom is going to be prying you out each day. I wonder if the depression is something your pdoc should know more about?

Thanks Mimi but I'm sorry that you understand how I feel

Pdoc knows, although he maybe doesn't appreciate how bad it is. He seems more interested in the voices etc, which were quieter when I was at home and not stressed. Mum said about ringing him but I don't see what that'll achieve. I'll just muddle through til the beginning of September. I'm used to muddling through...

*Willow*

The_little_didgee · Aug 14, 2013, 12:04 PM

I finally fell asleep around 7:45 am and woke at 12:10 pm. The first time I went to bed was around 11:30 pm and woke at 2:45 am. Last night I slept a total of 3:15 + 4:25 hours or 7:40 hours. Not too bad, just broken up.

Apparently we used to sleep two 4 or 5 hour periods in a 24 hour period. Maybe I am reverting back to the time when people's circadian rhythm wasn't affected by electricity.

mimi2112 · Aug 14, 2013, 12:48 PM

I don't know if I shared this before about what I now do for sleep. According to the experts, like Didgee mentioned, electricity really messes with our sleep -wake cycle. Our pineal gland (which is in the brain) is affected by even the smallest amount of light. The slightest glow from digital clocks can be sensed through our eyelids. Anyway, last year it dawned on me that maybe I should try wearing a mask over my eyes at night, and sure enough it makes a HUGE difference. I also wear earplugs.

mimi2112 · Aug 14, 2013, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I'm sorry that none of you guys could sleep last night

I'm having the opposite problem, sleeping 12-14 hours though it is disturbed sleep, then maybe napping in the day too if I cba with staying awake. Trying to sleep away my feelings too. But I'm like you Atypical in that if I have something the next day, then I'm awake most of the night beforehand. Are you worrying about the dentist? That's why I'm awake before stuff, worrying about silly things :/

Thanks Mimi but I'm sorry that you understand how I feel

Pdoc knows, although he maybe doesn't appreciate how bad it is. He seems more interested in the voices etc, which were quieter when I was at home and not stressed. Mum said about ringing him but I don't see what that'll achieve. I'll just muddle through til the beginning of September. I'm used to muddling through...

*Willow*

Well, perhaps if the Pdoc really appreciated the magnitude of how sleep/depression is taking over your life, then he'd be more helpful in reducing the Seroquel. Maybe as you decrease the Seroquel and keep a lower dose of Abilify you will be less sedate. Abilify in the lower doses is supposed to have a more "brightening effect" as you know. I was actually over- stimulated on it but it seems to help you with the voices, so it may be good to help you push through the depression, voices etc...

How is Max? Give him a squeeze for me

Aug 14, 2013, 01:05 PM

Well I finally got to sleep a little after 1am & woke around 6:45am. Not too bad for me. I actually thought it was going to be a lot worse than that. But I finally buried my face in a pillow & that helped me finally fall asleep. I guess it's true about blocking out all light. I'm going to have to get a mask to cover my eyes. I can't do ear plugs because as a single mom I'm use to being able to hear any noises in the apartment. I've tuned my ears to pick up even the smallest of noises which sometimes is a real pain because my daughter's 2 cats wake me running around playing downstairs. Sometimes my dog wakes me with her snoring. She sleeps under the covers with me like a little fat baby! Lol!

Aug 14, 2013, 01:07 PM

Hopefully all of us will sleep better tonight.

mimi2112 · Aug 14, 2013, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

ive been taking xanax to sleep away my troublesz. if i dont ill end up killing myself or someone else.
but i dont want to realy. i really dont.

its impulsive. i think about them and then say "no i dont want them becuz i hate sleeping".....and before i know it im on my knees by my desk and have slammed the pill bottle on the desk....where however many fall out i scoop from the edge of the desk into my mouth while on my knees...and my mouth on the wood lining of the desk...and chugged a mouthful of water...in 3 seconds flat.

it happens so fast that it seems like it didnt even happen. like maybe i just dreamed it?

and then i "wake up". and i ask myself why am i on my knees in front my desk?.."what just happend".

for a split second i have no clue
and then i remember...
and within minutes i know its not a dream because my body becomes jelly. i feel like im walking on a cloud. like im invincible and can fly and run into traffic and not get hurt and control weather and peoples mind and speak to jesus and become a mathematical genius - ALL while knowing im beig followed by the government mafia that has made plans since 1990 to assassinate me. and so on...

Hey Newtus,

Aug 14, 2013, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

Hey Newtus,

I don't think she's on. I've noticed she hasn't been posting as much. I sure do worry about her! Wish I could just wave a magic wand & fix everything for her!

mimi2112 · Aug 14, 2013, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

I don't think she's on. I've noticed she hasn't been posting as much. I sure do worry about her! Wish I could just wave a magic wand & fix everything for her!

me too

Aug 14, 2013, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

Well, perhaps if the Pdoc really appreciated the magnitude of how sleep/depression is taking over your life, then he'd be more helpful in reducing the Seroquel. Maybe as you decrease the Seroquel and keep a lower dose of Abilify you will be less sedate. Abilify in the lower doses is supposed to have a more "brightening effect" as you know. I was actually over- stimulated on it but it seems to help you with the voices, so it may be good to help you push through the depression, voices etc...

Thanks for the hug Mimi

I've actually decided to wean myself off the quetiapine/Seroquel anyway before my next appt. I wrote about why in the brain shrinkage thread. I don't find 10mg aripiprazole/Abilify stimulating at all. Maybe decreasing the quetiapine will reduce any sedation, like you said, but I don't think the depression is just down to meds. It's just time for another depression wave...Tbh the depression has been pretty good the last few months, it was the psychotic stuff that was worse. Now it's the depression's turn with a bit of psychotic stuff due to stress.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

How is Max? Give him a squeeze for me

He's being such a good boy and I'm feeling terrible about being such a bad Mum right now. He doesn't seem to mind being holed up in my bedroom 24/7. I do take him around the block, but it's a struggle to get to the park, though I did manage it briefly yesterday. And he's giving me lots of cuddles. Thank you for thinking of him

How are you and your little dog? I'm sorry, I'm not as good with names as you are, but it's a chihuahua, right?

*Willow*

Aug 14, 2013, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

me too

I checked the list of who's online right now & Newtus isn't. Sure wish we could hear from her.

mimi2112 · Aug 14, 2013, 08:15 PM

Willow: At least you do get Max around the block. Please don't say you are a bad mum to him. He loves you unconditionally. I beat myself up about not getting Zorro out more. He lets me know by tearing up my shoes and the rug.
About the Abilify, I understand that 10mg is not a lower dose so it's not less sedating. I hope the taper off the Seroquel will help you feel less fatigued.

Costello: How is Bridey? Did you decide about a-nal gland surgery? I am going to have my Vet. check Zorro's a-nal gland. He keeps scooting his rear on the carpet. Also, I like having to write a-nal gland 'cause the site won't let me write it properly, but it allowed me to say "butthead" and "asswipe" awhile back in another thread,

costello · Aug 14, 2013, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimi2112

Costello: How is Bridey? Did you decide about a-nal gland surgery?

Not yet. I'm considering rehoming Bridey. I need to move to get away from these neighbors, and I'm worried that I'll have a hard time finding a place I can afford that will take a huge dog.

Aug 14, 2013, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Not yet. I'm considering rehoming Bridey. I need to move to get away from these neighbors, and I'm worried that I'll have a hard time finding a place I can afford that will take a huge dog.

I think that's just terrible that you'll have to move & possibly get rid of your dog because of those jerk neighbors! I am so sorry that you're having to deal with that. It's not fair that you have the stress!

costello · Aug 14, 2013, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

I think that's just terrible that you'll have to move & possibly get rid of your dog because of those jerk neighbors! I am so sorry that you're having to deal with that. It's not fair that you have the stress!

I called the sheriff last week. The deputy talked to them first, then came over and told me that I just needed to communicate with them better - that would take care of the problem. Then he said 'dogs bark, there's nothing you can do about it.'

Tonight I got home and found that their dog had killed four of my chickens. I think they knew. I only found one body and the feathers of a second bird. I think the other two were on their property.

So I'm out in my yard trying to assess the damage, and their dog is barking and barking at me. Finally the woman says to it, "Good girl, good girl, bark, bark, let the whole world hear you." It was obviously aimed at me. There's no amount of 'communicating' that will help with those people's problem.

Aug 14, 2013, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

I called the sheriff last week. The deputy talked to them first, then came over and told me that I just needed to communicate with them better - that would take care of the problem. Then he said 'dogs bark, there's nothing you can do about it.'

Tonight I got home and found that their dog had killed four of my chickens. I think they knew. I only found one body and the feathers of a second bird. I think the other two were on their property.

So I'm out in my yard trying to assess the damage, and their dog is barking and barking at me. Finally the woman says to it, "Good girl, good girl, bark, bark, let the whole world hear you." It was obviously aimed at me. There's no amount of 'communicating' that will help with those people's problem.

Oh my goodness! That is terrible! I'm so sorry Costello! I can't believe people can be so freaking cruel! And the dog killing your chickens is just unacceptable! You'd think the darn sheriff would do something about that!
I hope you find a safe place to move where you don't have to put up with that crap! I hope you can keep your dog too! This situation is just not fair at all!

Aug 15, 2013, 07:54 AM

Aww that's terrible Costello!

You're unfortunately right though that no amount of 'communicating' will fix this problem cos they just don't care. Sucks you have to move though

@Mimi: Thanks!

I know he loves me unconditionally, I just don't often feel very deserving of it

I'm lucky in that he doesn't eat shoes or rugs etc, he just moans at me when he wants a cuddle or to play. I played with him a little yesterday for like 5 minutes and was exhausted afterwards, but it made him happy. At least going home will give him another playmate (my Mum's dog) and other people to make a fuss of him, so it'll be better for him, even if I don't really want to go.

*Willow*

faerie_moon_x · Aug 15, 2013, 10:16 AM

My mind is slowing down. It's a relief.

The_little_didgee · Aug 15, 2013, 11:59 AM

Now I am really noticing the effects of the Abilify. I kind of miss the ESP. It was distracting and somewhat soothing.

My psychology class finished last night which was sort of sad. I write the final next Thursday, then I have two weeks off until the fall semester starts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Tonight I got home and found that their dog had killed four of my chickens. I think they knew. I only found one body and the feathers of a second bird. I think the other two were on their property.

When I read this last night, I felt for you and still do. Is Hilda okay?

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 15, 2013, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

My psychology class finished last night which was sort of sad. I write the final next Thursday, then I have two weeks off until the fall semester starts.

Sorry you're sad about the end of your class but yay vacation! Are you going to do anything fun?