Roll Call Eight

I didn't see the video but read the story yesterday. It's very sad what happened to his family, however he has taken a tragedy and turned it around. I'm glad the school is standing by him as well in this case.

I agree people with mental illness would be great teachers for psychology because we can relate our personal experience and have compassion that many people without mental illness don't.

I know no one will agree with me, but I want to point out that he is not being asked to resign because he was at one time found insane. He is being asked to resign because he murdered three people. This is not just a case of kick out the person who mightve been schizophrenic, this is a case of kick out the man who we know has murdered people in his past.
I do not, however, agree that he should resign. He was found legally innocent of crime ina court of law, and in our justice system that means he is innocent and should not have the incedent held against him. For that reason, he should not be forced from his position.

I took deviant psychology while I was in college, there are remarkably different attitudes toward the role of prison. Is it supposed to correct someones behavior and then return them to society or to warehouse them so they are simply away from us? Is it supposed to keep us safe or is it punishment? People have remarkably different ideas and I think your underlying belief system will determine what you think of this story where in this case the mental health system stands in for prison. I think people(general public) also don't understand that he didn't understand what he did and is probably horrified by it now. I can't imagine having to live with the trauma of having accidentally killed my family.

I am sure he is horrified. I'm also sure that many many people without diagnosis of mental illness are equally horrified by crimes they've committed, and are enduring their own horror behind bars.

No I agree with you it to an extent it was about the murders, but I think the psychosis comes into play because people think you can't recover that he might just go insane and kill people again, but there is no evidence of that.

Also can I just say I appreciate a difference in opinion, otherwise you just end up with a really boring thread.

I'm not sure its the same. Imagine you killed someone in a dream, when you woke up you found it really happened. Totally different and more horrifying than being awake when you killed someone. Just my opinion. Still there are cases where people are on drugs etc that might be comparable, but then a choice was made to take those drugs. There is no choice to be psychotic.

I'm falling apart. Coming apart. Going away. Something to say play way may away away away. I'm scared, they're going to kill me. They can read my thoughts. Reading books, I'm a book they're reading. Turning the pages, knowing every thought and twisting it around in my head so I sound crazy. I can't think straight and I hate it and people notice and I"m ashamed to blame alone unknown.

Did you try one of your PRN APs?

Gah I sound that bad sad mad, sorry, may I reconcile and not be as guilty as I already am?... I took some just now, thanks for reminding me, I keep forgetting everything nothing something I'm scared. Sacred thoughts being desecrated made light of defamed ashamed nothing I'm nothing. Hope meds help but i'm worried I'll end up dead. I died already, I don't want to die again begin end hell.

I do see your point. In fact I have confessed a crime I believed id committed to the police before. (I hadn't actually done it) I do see what you mean about making a choice.
However, I always consider myself responsible for my own. Actions. Even when I am delusional, psychotic, or dissociative. That is my choice I guess.

The difference is I don't think of psychosis/sz as a one size fits all thing. My pdoc was actually impressed that at peak psychosis I didn't act on any of my craziness that would have been harmful. At one point I wanted to kill a member of study section that does grant review because I thought he was really me but I was lucid enough to tell pdoc I would never actually kill anyone. He said most people just do it. This is someone I don't even know or have a rationale for killing, who I had never even met in person. Its freaky to me that I would even have that thought and really it was a passing thought but I mentioned it when pdoc asked if I wanted to hurt myself or somebody else. That is why I checked into the hospital I wasn't sure if I might actually try to kill the guy. About a week later I realized I would never do it even if sick, but I know there are people with a more severe disease than me.

I think you misunderstood. I wasn't indicating that I would never be capable of doing horrible things, just that I would want to be held accountable regardless of my state of mind. Does that make sense?

Oh I definitely misunderstood. It makes perfect sense. I guess I can see that it would give you equal standing with the rest of society and be fair in that sort of way. I mean I definitely don't want to see people killing each other.

I don't know if this feeling of rage and wanting to scream for unknown reasons is due to me or my medication. It is awful and I cannot get rid of it. I need to because I have a class in two hours.

Are you changing the dose of anything right now?

No not yet. I was doing really well with this the last few weeks. I cannot determine if it is me or the Abilify because I got this feeling when I wasn't taking it. The problem is how to get rid of it. I am thinking of sending an email to my psychiatrist.

I had rage with abilify withdrawal for like 3 weeks, I was mad about meaningless stuff. But if you aren't changing the dose I don't think that would be it. In those 3 weeks I found nothing to get rid of it. Chocolate does make you feel a little better though.

My psychiatrist thinks I am depressed so that may contribute (slightly) to what I am feeling. My other symptoms have bothering me. Yesterday was hard and I think most of the restlessness is related to that.

I love eating chocolate when I am sad too. It really works.

OK this is going to sound crazy but was recommended by my CBT therapist. Go to a room where you can be alone and no one will hear you and just laugh out loud for ten minutes. I could never do the full 10 minutes but usually your mood changes faster than that anyway. Also the T fully endorsed the chocolate approach.

I never had a suggestion like that before. Creative. Do you have to think about something very funny to keep laughing?

No usually its a little embarrassing to laugh like that so the odd sort of secret that you're laughing at nothing is often enough to keep laughing. If you can't keep laughing you can just make sure that you're smiling but laughing is best.

Good luck!

True.

Thanks. I do feel better so I am going to attend my class.

I fully believe laughter is an incredible medicine. It lowers blood pressure and blood glucose levles. It opens up your veins / arteries. It lifts your mood. It does all types of good things for you.

When I was severly depressed as a teenager I watched the comedy channel all day every day. I didn't laugh. I just watched it. But, I feel that surrounding myself with humor is what kept me going. So, I fully promote comedy and laughter as good for you mind / body / soul.

Hope you're feeling better, didgee. Or at least made it through your class.

I see mushrooms everywhere now. I never really noticed before. I saw a tiny white one in my front yard with a pointed top. And a large brown one in the lawn at work with a flat top.

My son is having trouble swallowing. I'm worried.