Cops! Feel so Unsafe now .... :-(

Earlier tonight three cops came banging on my door out of the blue. Asked me a lot of embarrassing questions concerning a conversation I'd had with someone online, (someone I will NEVER speak to again, trust me!) and a lot of very private questions about my thoughts and feelings and fantasies. Even my religion. Freaking cop asked me what religion I practiced! I just said, "my own."

It was terrifying and I was shaking all over. I was so scared they were going to seize me and force me to go IP.

I feel so violated right now, so betrayed, so very very unsafe.

Why can't people who don't understand me just walk away and leave me alone? why must they persecute me, invade my territory, break into my sanctuary and pollute it????

I feel so ......... unsafe .............. now.

Yikes I would be pretty scared too! I suggest you stay calm and asked them why, who, what, when , were.... Q's that would make things easier for you to understand. Good luck! Maybe you should get with a Psychologist to talk things out, Now they can be really helpful!

I do not find psychologists helpful. They are tools of the system to oppress people like Me.

yeah some can be real jerks but some, sweethearts! Did you do anything bad?

No, I didn't do anything against the law.

THOUGHTS are not crimes.

Some ppl apparently think otherwise.

Ppl live in their stupid unreal Hollywood TV drama worlds, think this ***** is normal. It is NOT normal. Hello, we are NOT living in a freaking police state. You do NOT call cops on someone because you don't like their THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!

I agree, right you are there malady! were you afraid someone could hear your thoughts or something? I broke down a few days ago with a ton of stuff like that. I was screaming and violent! Oh how miserable it can be., But most of it is great! WONDERFUL! How are you feeling now? Concerned, Sarah

If you don't mind me asking, and don't feel like you need to answer, but what types of stuff did you say online?

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Sarah116 said: were you afraid someone could hear your thoughts or something?

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Ummmm ... no. It had nothing to do with that whatsoever.

You are entitled to your thoughts, but we do have to take care how and when and to whom we expess them. What we say can make people feel unsafe, especially if we act in such a way that they aren't sure what we might or might not do.

I am sorry you are feeling so unsafe. Do you think anyone else might have been feeling unsafe too? Maybe everybody could work a little harder to make sure that everyone is safe.

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girlbassplayer said:
If you don't mind me asking, and don't feel like you need to answer, but what types of stuff did you say online?

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Just fantasy things, vampiric type stuff. I did make it clear to the person I was talking with that it was a FANTASY thing, not something one would act out on in real life.

For crying out loud, thoughts are not crimes, neither are fantasies. Hollywood puts them on celluloid and makes millions of $$$. People eat that ***** up constantly and beg for more, but never admit to having those desires themselves. I think most people have "evil" desires, but that does NOT mean they will ACT OUT on them!!!!!

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Rapunzel said:
You are entitled to your thoughts, but we do have to take care how and when and to whom we expess them. What we say can make people feel unsafe, especially if we act in such a way that they aren't sure what we might or might not do.

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I wanted him to know how serious my situation was, is all. I didn't think he took it seriously enough. But lesson learned .... it was an error of judgment on my part to think this person was a friend who knew ME and trusted ME. He was not. He was one of THEM. Foul traducers, malicious traitors ...

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I am sorry you are feeling so unsafe. Do you think anyone else might have been feeling unsafe too? Maybe everybody could work a little harder to make sure that everyone is safe.

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Now I know why the ancient ones went out of society and dwelled among the tombs. Maybe that was the only place they could get peace and quiet and others would not treat them like monsters. Do you have any idea what it's like to be treated like a monster when you haven't even DONE anything to anyone to warrant it?? To be slandered, lied about, and have everyone in the world thinking you alone deserve no empathy, no understanding, because to understand you is "dangerous" somehow?????

Even to the point where people constantly accuse you of trying to be "rude" to them or being "angry" when you are simply stating facts and there's no agenda or emotion tied to it whatsoever.

I so f*cking do not get your species it isn't funny.

That really sucks... someone you trusted was found to be untrustworthy. It's happened to me too and I also have learned a lesson. That lesson sure *bites* though!

People can be very hard to "get"...... I think I'm running on a totally different circuit.

Though, there are some here on the forum that are kind, try to understand and are safe.

Good day/evening.

mandy

thanks mandy.

one thing that sucks though that has been tripping with me. the cop was asking me did i want to see somebody (like meaning a shrink or whatnot) and i said, "if things get out of hand i will see somebody" and he asks what i mean by that and i said, "you know, if i'm not in control." then he asks me, "how would you know if you were not in control?" and you know what? i could not answer him. i'm sure if i think about it long enough i'll come up with the answer, but at that moment, i really had no idea what to say. cuz i just didn't know.

i think what made me angriest about the whole thing, though, was feeling forced to dissemble. i am pathologically honest. i never lie or fake anything, unless i feel there is a risk of breaching the prime directive. and this was a definite risk of that, so i felt like i had to just camoflauge myself, disguise myself, pretend to pass for something i'm not. my real self, i want to talk all the time and tell everyone about the visions i have and what S. does with me and my Guardians and everything .... but you don't tell that kind of thing to those who would use it to hurt you so i had to just keep my mouth clenched shut, i could barely speak and when i did it was just really simplistic answers and going along with their game ..... and that makes me feel like i was forced to betray MYSELF, which really hurts.

Malady in society we all must play the game ( it isn't fair) but to stay out of psych units we must play there game or close to it, I'm not saying lie but don't give them ammunion to use against you
Angie

It's hard. It's not that I'm an exhibitionist -- on the contrary I'm an extremely private person -- it's just that I have this compusion, I feel like my existence in its raw, true state is like an ongoing passion play used as a teaching device for humanity, so if i have to deny that and pretend to be nobody and nothing, it is like cutting into my Destiny, and that wounds me deeply.

Sounds like that was a smart cop...... his question requires some deep thinking. It seems like they were somewhat nice about the situation at least, doesn't sound like they were degrading or abusive.

Speaking for myself, it is hard to know when my mind goes off on a tangent.-- the only thing that I've learned lately, is that I become more nervous and trust less.

Are the cops going to do any follow-up with you? Hopefully you are done with it all.

mandy

they did make me give them my phone number (which is unlisted). but i'm going to change it. i don't like the idea that they are watching me now. i mean what if, god forbid, something happens? are they going to come after me thinking i'm a suspect?

they were OK i guess. they weren't mean or abusive. a little rough around the edges but that's a cop for ya.