Roll Call 16

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:21 PM

i hope the sneakiness doesnt get caught. i just hope to not be on the shot. i WILL take my pills but i need to not be on the shot. i asked them before to take me off and they said "no cause you wont take the pills". believe me i know i will take them now. i have seen what theyve done for me but i gotta lose this weight and i gotta get my energy back.

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Don't forget not to agree to your new pdoc getting your old notes though! Lol

*Willow*

how do i do that?!?

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:22 PM

oh sh_t im freaking out

costello · Feb 06, 2014, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x

Our society runs us all into the ground, ill or not.

I agree we live in the kind of culture that's conducive to mental illness. We're scattered and disconnected and living under extreme pressure.

costello · Feb 06, 2014, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i hope the sneakiness doesnt get caught.

Sneakiness?

costello · Feb 06, 2014, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

oh sh_t im freaking out

When's your appt? Why don't you wait until it's closer to freak out?

Feb 06, 2014, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

how do i do that?!?

You don't sign the release form that allows them to talk. Simples

*Willow*

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Sneakiness?

they said bring your pill bottles and im only on one. so im bringing an old haldol pill bottle. but i realize it has the date on it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

When's your appt? Why don't you wait until it's closer to freak out?

because its actually this wednesday. the day AFTER the appt with my regular pdoc

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

You don't sign the release form that allows them to talk. Simples

*Willow*

but am i ALLOWED to refuse. what if i refuse and they say "well then i cant see you."?

costello · Feb 06, 2014, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

they said bring your pill bottles and im only on one. so im bringing an old haldol pill bottle. but i realize it has the date on it.

Hmph! They're just being lazy, asking what your diagnosis is and what med you're on.

Ok, I'm half-joking, but I don't think you're being sneaky really.

Quote:

because its actually this wednesday. the day AFTER the appt with my regular pdoc

Ah, well then, carry on with the freak out! j/k

How'd you get an appt so fast?

Feb 06, 2014, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

but am i ALLOWED to refuse. what if i refuse and they say "well then i cant see you."?

I think so. If they Q it, say you want a fresh start and to go over the diagnosis again and don't want them to be influenced by previous diagnoses. Relax Newtus! It's almost a week away! That's way too long to stress about it all.

*Willow*

costello · Feb 06, 2014, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

but am i ALLOWED to refuse. what if i refuse and they say "well then i cant see you."?

Then you've saved yourself a lot of time and grief by learning up front that this isn't the right pdoc for you.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 06, 2014, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

im scared idk if i did the right thing or not

Well if you've seen her before then you should know if you made the right choice I mean did she generally support your decisions? However what I think is perhaps a poor choice is lying about the meds---I have no idea what will happen if you just stop taking an injection without tapering off an equivalent dose of oral haldol---at the very minimum there is a good chance of a full blown break----possibly hospitalization----also you are asking her to trust in your judgement while basically lying to her---that doesn't seem fair to me. Do what you have to do but if it were me I would try honesty...

Erti · Feb 06, 2014, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERTI!!!

*Willow*

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Happy b-day, Erti!

Thank you Willow and Costello!

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Hmph! They're just being lazy, asking what your diagnosis is and what med you're on.

Ok, I'm half-joking, but I don't think you're being sneaky really.

Ah, well then, carry on with the freak out! j/k

How'd you get an appt so fast?

well i figure in one way i need to be honest to 1. keep the voices at bay and 2. keep my disability on what diagnosis i have it on.
but maybe they are being lazy. idk how to recognize this stuff. i need help with the system still a bit because my dad does so much for me.

and idk how i got an appt so fast. it makes me wonder if shes actually a good doc. ive had her before and the only reason i changed from her was because when i saw her i had no insurance. and when i got insurance back i wasnt able to see her anymore. but im trying to think back if i ever got into a fight with her before cause i seem to fight with all my pdocs that ive ever seen except 1. and thats the one that was at the hospital and idk if he does outpatient work.

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I think so. If they Q it, say you want a fresh start and to go over the diagnosis again and don't want them to be influenced by previous diagnoses. Relax Newtus! It's almost a week away! That's way too long to stress about it all.

*Willow*

its actually only 3-4 days aaway or so

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Then you've saved yourself a lot of time and grief by learning up front that this isn't the right pdoc for you.

damn well i dont have many to choose from. ugh man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Well if you've seen her before then you should know if you made the right choice I mean did she generally support your decisions? However what I think is perhaps a poor choice is lying about the meds---I have no idea what will happen if you just stop taking an injection without tapering off an equivalent dose of oral haldol---at the very minimum there is a good chance of a full blown break----possibly hospitalization----also you are asking her to trust in your judgement while basically lying to her---that doesn't seem fair to me. Do what you have to do but if it were me I would try honesty...

im gonna tell her that i think the doc just wasnt concerned about my quality of life. can that be enough?

ugh now im regretting eeverything

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:45 PM

i havent canceled my appt with my current pdoc and idk if i should. i mean i would basically not tell him im gonna go see another one if i did. or maybe i SHOULD see him and then see the new one the NEXT day. then cancel the NEXT appt for the old pdoc after i see him next week.

theres gotta be *SOME WAY* to live with this disorder without so much medication and with pills. and not to be hospitalized. theres gotta be some way. my quality of life right now is going downhill fast and they arent listening to me.

right now in my life im getting to a point where i can do some things but i still have symptoms but i wanna get to a point where i can manage my symptoms on pills but less pills and STILL not be hospitalized. why cant i have that?

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:50 PM

worst comes to worst about how i feel then ill cancel this appt with this new pdoc before time comes

Feb 06, 2014, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Well if you've seen her before then you should know if you made the right choice I mean did she generally support your decisions? However what I think is perhaps a poor choice is lying about the meds---I have no idea what will happen if you just stop taking an injection without tapering off an equivalent dose of oral haldol---at the very minimum there is a good chance of a full blown break----possibly hospitalization----also you are asking her to trust in your judgement while basically lying to her---that doesn't seem fair to me. Do what you have to do but if it were me I would try honesty...

I personally hate lying, but if I was Newtus I'd be pretty desperate too. When/if I go back to Uni pdoc, I'm not going to give him the summary letter from current pdoc saying that I'm a big phoney. Duh!

What if this is the way for Newtus to start to recover? She says she'll take the oral meds.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

its actually only 3-4 days aaway or so

Today is Thursday right?? And your appt is Wed? That's 6 days!! Lol Chillax...

*Willow*

newtus · Feb 06, 2014, 03:55 PM

i have seen what meds do for me and i WILL take oral meds. ALL i wanted my current pdoc to do was LOWER my current injection dose. i wouldnt mind the injection kinda if he just lowered it because its SO MUCH.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 06, 2014, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i havent canceled my appt with my current pdoc and idk if i should. i mean i would basically not tell him im gonna go see another one if i did. or maybe i SHOULD see him and then see the new one the NEXT day. then cancel the NEXT appt for the old pdoc after i see him next week.

theres gotta be *SOME WAY* to live with this disorder without so much medication and with pills. and not to be hospitalized. theres gotta be some way. my quality of life right now is going downhill fast and they arent listening to me.

right now in my life im getting to a point where i can do some things but i still have symptoms but i wanna get to a point where i can manage my symptoms on pills but less pills and STILL not be hospitalized. why cant i have that?

I would see them both if your insurance will cover it---perhaps you can give the current one an ultimatum---I know that you are trying to help me but I feel that you aren't listening to my needs. I would much prefer oral medication---give him a good reason---consistency of dosing---tell him you crash at the beginning of the month and break through at the end or whatever---tell him that you cannot live like this and will be finding a new pdoc if he does not listen---then if he insists on the injection start seeing the new pdoc instead...I wouldn't even bother making another appointment at the end of the session just to prove my point...if he asks just repeat clearly you weren't listening, I'm finding a new pdoc.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 06, 2014, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I personally hate lying, but if I was Newtus I'd be pretty desperate too. When/if I go back to Uni pdoc, I'm not going to give him the summary letter from current pdoc saying that I'm a big phoney. Duh!

What if this is the way for Newtus to start to recover? She says she'll take the oral meds.

*Willow*

That's why I said it was what I would do and not what she should do----she's got a whole lot more experience with this than I do and I respect whatever decision she ultimately makes---the problem is the oral haldol she has was I believe an add on she was supposed to take in addition to the shot and not necessarily and equivalent dose---correct me if I'm wrong. I'm worried it will be too low and she will relapse...ending up in the hospital within a week or two of meeting a new pdoc isn't going to earn a lot of credibility so I'm worried she'll destroy the new relationship before it even has a chance...not all the pdocs are bad.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 06, 2014, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

The OT appt went fine. She was nicer than the other one. We agreed that I'd get up earlier and would shower/bath once a week, and she would find out about craft classes and mindfulness courses. Then we'll meet again next week to discuss our progress. I was supposed to get up 15mins earlier each morning, but I cba pfaffing around and so decided just to get up at 9am every morning and deal with the tiredness until my body clock adjusted. I also arranged for my Dad to call me just after to make sure I don't cheat and go back to sleep

Mum wanted the OT to take me swimming, but she agreed that was too scary right now and we'd work up to that starting with showering once a week and putting moisturiser on afterwards to get more comfortable with my icky body. I'm also taking the tablets the GP gave me to sleep. I don't want to get ahead of myself but I feel ok right now, which for me is pretty amazing given how bad I was feeling just a couple of weeks ago. Keeping busy is good for distracting me from paranoia/anxiety and I'm finally unpacking!

*Willow*

I'm so glad you are feeling better Willow...how is the sunlight where you are---I got one of these SAD lamps that mimic sunlight and I snap it on for 30 minutes every morning and it really regularized my sleep---like now I'm getting tired at 10pm and waking up before my alarm at around 6:30am---its really great and energizing---highly recommend! Also its hard to fall back asleep with what is basically a flood light on in your room

I'm glad to OT is working out so well---they seem to be basically about having fun and keeping entertained----

Anyway glad you are doing so well.

Feb 06, 2014, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

the problem is the oral haldol she has was I believe an add on she was supposed to take in addition to the shot and not necessarily and equivalent dose---correct me if I'm wrong. I'm worried it will be too low and she will relapse...ending up in the hospital within a week or two of meeting a new pdoc isn't going to earn a lot of credibility so I'm worried she'll destroy the new relationship before it even has a chance...not all the pdocs are bad.

Ahh I thought the haldol was the oral equivalent to the injection and what she was supposed to take before the injections started...idk that kind of changes things if they're not equivalent...yeah I'd be worried about rapid detoxing too :/ It'd prob be best to be honest with both of the pdocs then. I think I'd rearrange the current pdoc appt to after the new pdoc appt, be honest with the new pdoc about being on injections but hating the inconsistency too doped up then not enough. If they aren't interested in working with you, then you've lost nothing and you can go back to current pdoc and try the same thing with them. Idk, it's tricky :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm so glad you are feeling better Willow...how is the sunlight where you are---I got one of these SAD lamps that mimic sunlight and I snap it on for 30 minutes every morning and it really regularized my sleep---like now I'm getting tired at 10pm and waking up before my alarm at around 6:30am---its really great and energizing---highly recommend! Also its hard to fall back asleep with what is basically a flood light on in your room

I'm glad to OT is working out so well---they seem to be basically about having fun and keeping entertained----

Anyway glad you are doing so well.

Thanks. Well it's not so much about fun, but about being active and not lazing about all day. Glad the SAD lamp is helping

*Willow*

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 06, 2014, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Ahh I thought the haldol was the oral equivalent to the injection and what she was supposed to take before the injections started...idk that kind of changes things if they're not equivalent...yeah I'd be worried about rapid detoxing too :/ It'd prob be best to be honest with both of the pdocs then. I think I'd rearrange the current pdoc appt to after the new pdoc appt, be honest with the new pdoc about being on injections but hating the inconsistency too doped up then not enough. If they aren't interested in working with you, then you've lost nothing and you can go back to current pdoc and try the same thing with them. Idk, it's tricky :/
*Willow*

Yeah I don't know I mean if she still has the original from whenever she started the shots then the sneakiness would work----I mean except for the date on the bottle---because I think it was 6 months ago...

I will say this they told me to bring my pill bottles to the new pdoc---I brought nothing---of course I wasn't on anything but she basically just took my word about what I was on in the past...dosing and everything...

I almost think you could just go darn it I totally forgot to bring them---but this is what I'm on---I mean the reason they want them is half of people just don't even know the names of the drugs they are on at all...or their dose...

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