Roll Call 18

I took this one last spring I pink snow!



*Willow*

Awesome...we don't hit official spring till end of march I think....just got 4 inches of snow no flowers at all...heck no grass.

That is just beautiful!

Well British summer time doesn't start until the 30th March, but I've always considered spring to be March to May.

How depressing! I hope the grass and flowers reappear soon!

Whenever I see the snowdrops spring out of the frosty ground, it's like a sign that the winter is almost over and the daffodils etc will be up soon. There's something about seeing daffodils and crocuses and tulips that make me feel optimistic...I guess it's knowing that the days are getting warmer and longer.

*Willow*

Thanks Willow! Good to know its spring somewhere!!!

i found this pen sized ecig-type thing that vaporizes weed. i just cant believe all the stuff thats coming out for this stuff.

Yeah, my ex boyfriend bought like 3 ecig-type things that vaporizes hookah. It was pretty cool.

yea i got the hookah pens. those are really cool! this one is called the G-pen. i dont know if anyones ever heard of that. but lol funny actually snoop dogg endorses it. and you can put like even peppermint and sage in it and smoke it. they say loose leaf aromatherapy but it can be weed too which is loof leaf. dried herbs.

Lol leave it to Snoop to advertise weed products.

I went to 7-11 to get milk this morning and seriously there was a high times magazine and they only carry like 20 magazines...I was just like what? It not even legal here!

I so relate. I live alone and its really hard for me to get out. And I don't drive and the closest bus is quite a ways away. So yeah I isolate all winter pretty much. I always feel better when I get out too.

I just watched a programme that was unexpectedly triggering. I don't know if you have 'Call the Midwife' over in America but it's based on the memoirs of a midwife in the east end of London in the 1950s. Today they covered a woman who developed postpartum psychosis, was separated from her baby & hospitalised where she underwent ECT. One of my fears is that if I ever have a baby, which I really want to do one day, I'll become completely psychotic, so it touched a nerve because of that. Then there was the pretty graphic ECT scenes, which brought back bad memories.

I'm trying to distract myself by watching a fluffy rom com...

*Willow*

we have that over here. im afraid of that as well. in fact i think about that often and i never had sex. i have no idea why im thinking of having babies.

Yeah that's the thing even when you're recovered it's like the memories are haunting....like when I was watching robocop...who would have expected that to be triggering? Yet it's really hard to stop watching like you'll learn something important or something...

hahah. goes to show you. theres something really deep about that whole culture though. i swear. or its not deep. its shallow and just overplayed. but theres something about it that intrigues me.

I didn't realize they still do ECT. It sounds so inhumane.

They do though more typically for depression or suicidality...but it seems to have some impact on psychosis as well. My pdoc was telling me about another patient who had sz and got ect....he used to have the delusion that he had to sleep with three prostitutes in order to stop the voices....apparently he actually did it but it didn't work but he still continued to think he had to do it and he started getting better after ect but yeah I thought they didn't do it either so I really never looked at pdoc the same way after that he's told me some things that really make me think he goes too far to fix people...some people end up with forced injections etc....I don't know how anyone can think doing these things to other people without consent is OK. I remember once I was talking about antipsychiatry and he was like yeah we've done some terrible things and I almost corrected him to are still doing some terrible things.

Thanks Newtus! Yeah I've never had sex (I'm asexual), but I really want to have children one day and I worry I might not get the opportunity...

Thanks Sometimes! Yeah I couldn't turn it over, even though I was crying. I had to find out if the woman got her baby back (she did).

Yeah Erti, they still do it. I had it (well 2 sessions) in November, against my wishes. I was sobbing my eyes out, shouting "no!" over and over, and they did it anyway.

It has fallen out of favour here for psychosis, but they use it for severe/suicidal depression all the time. They have a clinic both here and my Uni city that runs 4 mornings a week.

I've always been squeamish about ECT. I had to observe it as a medstudent and pretend I was one of the doctors instead of more like the patients. But I saw that it did work. In the end I was desperate and told it was my only chance so I did eventually agree to it...but then I changed my mind (I had a delusion that ECT would kill me, which I was ok with, but they wanted me to have it before my brother came home from Uni so I thought I wouldn't have chance to say goodbye to my favourite brother)...and they forced me to have it anyway, which still haunts me.

*Willow*

i just went walking outside and the sleet is hitting my face like little tiny rocks. i swear it hurt so bad.

they def still do ECT. i remember in the hospital last couple times the people that would come out of ECT would be all dazed and glazed over in their eyes. their hair would be wet. i think they wet their heads with water or something before they do it.

to PC sunshine1995!

Yeah I was so confused afterwards, especially the first one where I really struggled against the anaesthetic. I knew where I was and that I'd had ECT, but I didn't remember how I got to the ECT suite for a few hours afterwards. I have absolutely no idea why their hair was wet...they didn't do that to me or any of the people I saw have it done as a medstudent.

*Willow*

maybe they just idk sweated? or something idk. it was just weird and really scary looking to see these people all glazed over. its one of the scariest things to me in psychiatry. that and stuff like forced injections and restraints. i swear none of that stuff is humane. so surreal.

i got a killer migraine and feel nauseaous from it. this sucks.

Yeah it really freaks me out how much power psychiatry has. It's one of the many reasons I decided against psychiatry in the end and left medicine.

Do you have meds for it? I take paracetamol & codeine when I get one and go to sleep, but you could also get migraine tablets with an antiemetic in to help with the nausea. I hope you feel better soon.

*Willow*

your lucky you can leave medicine. i dont think i can. i think i have too much trouble without medicine. unfortunately. i really want to leave meds behind. so bad.

and thanks. i dont have any prescription meds for it. i used to take prescribed meds for it but i dont have any anymore. i just took some aspirin.