Roll Call 18

Had a small hallucination last night scared the crap out of me....small child's voice saying can you p.....stopped mid sentence when I freaked out...was half awake half asleep think it was hypnopompic....

i see my therapist today. idk what to talk to her about. how she called 911 on me?! how she ruined everything. . .

Newtus, I think you should let her know that you are hurt and upset by her actions. I don't think that's unreasonable. Just do it in a calm manner and let her know that you need to feel safe sharing things with her, otherwise your time with her is pointless. If you are worried that she's going to call 911 on you for everything you share, then how can she help you heal? She can't. Tell her you'd rather she work with you on coping skills for suicidal thoughts rather than threats of hospitalization.

As for me, I am sad Harold Ramis died. He was a great comedian and a lot of his films, whether as an actor, director, or writer, are among my favorites like Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, Orange County, Knocked Up, and many others.

yes ur right faerie.

on another note i liked harold ramis in orange county.

Welp, My mom put both the dogs into diapers to prevent them from having sex. When we put one on Penelope she ripped it off and ran around the house with the diaper in her mouth... so mom's solution to the problem is to ducktape that **** on her. It's quite hilarious to have both dogs in diapers.

I hope your appointment goes well.

In my top 10 favorite films is Groundhog Day and Ghostbusters. I've probably seen Groundhog Day 1000 times, not kidding. I've even tried to figure out how many years he is stuck there, although I think Harold Ramis in an interview once said that Bill Murray was supposed to be trapped for 10,000 years, but in the end it is more like 10 years. Although one website claims it is more accurate at 35 years because he learns so many new skills.

Erti may i ask why on earth you dont get the dogs fixed? If you cannot afford both, the male dog neuter would be the cheaper of th two. At a low cost spay and neuter clinic it might be very affordable, sometimes only 40 or so. You could save up for the female too, they could give you an estimate over the phone. Your local shelter could give you the number for a clinic if you dont know of one. Its cheaper than unwanted puppies in the long run. Just a suggestion.

Well the male dog is my uncle Tim's dog not ours. Penelope isn't my dog it's my mom's. I have no control over what my mom decides what to do with Penelope. I've actually asked my mom why she never fixed Penelope and she said it's because we had no intentions of a male dog to be around in the first place. Uncle Tim's dog was only suppose to be here for a couple of days but of course stayed longer. The diapers is a short term solution to the problem until my uncle Tim get's his dog or if my uncle Tim decides to abandon his dog my stepdad say's we're going to get him fixed.

Erti- i wasnt implying blame on your part, i am sorry if it sounded like i was. I just feel sorry for the pets and wanted to be helpful. I can delete my post if it offended you.

i went to my therapist. told her i was mad at her. dont remember everything we talked about cuz i took a zolpidem. but we talked about the police comingg to get me and then we took a walk. then came back in and talked more about my seeing planes and demons. and the police riding by my house.

It's cool. I'd be asking the same question too.

Do you feel any better after talking to her?

sort of . not really .

i just feel like things got misinterpreted and she sent me to hospital and now im still kinda upset. i had NO plan. it was all suicidal thinking. no plan. she shouldnt have sent me. i was there for a grueling 24-25 hours. sat in a chair in a holding tank the whole time. with people who were out of their minds and/or fighting.

and she said "ok ill tell the nurse you have a new doctor"
i said "i already told the nurse!!!"
i bet shes gonna tell her anyway more of what i said. good thing i didnt give up more info about my doctor. and THEN shes like "theyll just probably send your records there" and im like "not unless i sign something" and then she said something i frgt.

im scared theyre gonna round me up and make me go back there the way theyre gossiping about it between each other. the nurse and the therapist and the doctor.

Why would they do that? Unless you present an immediate threat to yourself or others they can't do that.

idk im just really afraid. theres no need to double discuss it if i already told the nurse i changed pdocs. but they seem to want to double discuss it. talk about it again and again. ugh.

Sorry to say....they 'got at' eachother twice already and locked.....she's knocked up. Lol

She will only allow a male to penetrate her at a certain time during the heat cycle. 90% certain she is. I think it is too late for diapers at this point. Mark it on the calendar to find about when she will deliver.

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I forgot. What kind of dogs were they?
I made up a name for the children....
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Im sorry today has been so stressful for you newtus. But im glad you told her how you felt about the hospitalization. She needed to hear that from you.

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Lol, true... it's more of hopeful wishing on my parents part.

Penelope is a pure breed Chihuahua while my uncle Tim's dog (they think) is a papillon mix breed (he's larger than a pure breed Papillon).

Here's a couple of pictures of them.

Penelope


Here's my uncle Tim's dog

Newtus: Maybe ask your new doctor if she recommends a therapist as well? I mean, you really need to be comfortable with the people you're working with and I think that will go a long way to helping you feel better.

Erti: aren't papillion dogs the French circus dogs that dance on their hind legs? I have a cousin with one of those. My aunt says he always dances around and they never trained him to do it. If they have puppies we can call them chippilions.

Lol, no clue but I've looked up Papillion dogs and the area of organ is France.

Punky in a earlier post called the potential puppies as Papihauhaus. lol.

...or papihuahuas!

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i WAS comfortable. but idk how much i am now...