Roll Call 21

i DEFINITELY do. but what WHAT can i get? im thinking hard.

Yea.
Just trying to think of ideas for u. (((hugs)))

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Why dont you do this then.
I think right now u just are extra nervous and excited to travel. Remind yourself of this.
But try to be excited to go visit cali instead of nervous. Maybe that would help?

I dont know hun, im just trying to help......I hate it when you feel this way.
My advice isnt all that great but im trying.

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i understand you try.

all i can think about right now is the plane flight crashing and leaving my dad.

For Newtus

statistically, A plane the size of the one you are going to be on has not crashed in the US for many, many years.
So that is one thing you do not have to worry about. You will be very safe.
Im very excited for you! And jealous!

And your dad will be working the whole time you are visiting. He will be very busy.

I feel really agitated like I should be doing something about what I know is wrong with reality. Can't focus on the tv or anything so just sat thinking about everything.

lol

Sorry I've been busy the last few days. It is Mother's Day in the UK today so last night my Dad and I made my Mum a cake. It was a Victoria sandwich with a white icing top and I made pink icing flowers and hand painted them with food colouring. I basically spent 3 hours hand making the flowers and she didn't say "thank you" or anything, so I feel like I shouldn't have bothered

That coping thing Sometimes posted made me wonder if it's a good idea to see my GP about the tracker?? I'm really nervous about talking to him cos I don't know if he's safe. I don't even know if the GP does minor surgery though the ones I've worked in before always have. I just want it OUT! But what happens then?! What if they find another way to incapacitate me and put another in?! And I don't want him to think I'm crazy and tell the CMHT because they're DEFINITELY in on it...

I miss when my Mum used to be someone I could talk to about this stuff. She was so supportive while I was at Uni last year and when I had to come home from Uni. Then she hospitalised me and since I got out she's been really sick and crotchety (Idk if that's another British expression, but it means grumpy as h.e.l.l! Lol) so I barely talk to her now, and if I do it's about her.

At the beginning of this roll call you were on about IQ. Well mine isn't as high as you guys were on about, but it's a bit above average (well before all this started). Anyway last week I did an online test when my brain felt really slow. It was so bad that I had to talk myself through each Q out loud because my brain just couldn't do it internally, and I was so slow and, even though I tried really hard, I got almost half of them wrong! I was still shocked when it came out as 67 though!! And I'm not on meds so that is down to whatever this cr@p is!! And it made me think who would fake feeling this awful and being that stupid (I mean below 70 is diagnosed learning difficulties!) Today it's 96, which still isn't great for me :/

Hope everyone has had a good weekend!

*Willow*

Been off my meds for 4 days, I'm screwed if my nurse finds out though.

Im sorry your having trouble.....(((hugs)))
were here as a distraction if you need one.

Ugg...
Be careful KUREHA!
Stay safe! Why are not taking them? Side effects?

Yeah, I get depressed and have zero motivation when I'm taking my meds, that's why I want to change back to abilify.

My nurse said its hospital if I stop though, so I have to make sure I don't let it slip out accidentally.

Yea, I remember you were having trouble on some of the other stuff too.
Im glad your back here on PC though. Its nice to see your face again.

What did they say about Abilify? Why wont they put you back on it?

Just be careful. Your nurse is very nice but I dont think she is playing around this time. She wants you safe. Ya know?

Thanks I missed everyone here as well.

Yeah she is definitely serious about the hospital.
I was happy taking abilify, but they said it wasn't working, but it was though.

Never mind

Any ideas on ways I can distract myself and not do things that aren't good for me?

Oh that zyprexa. I took a total of 10 mgs. I lost 20lbs on the latuda and I think I've gained it back taking the risperdal and zyprexa.

Omg, I'm not staying on it. I'm gonna see about them adding topamax to the risperdal. Maybe that will work. The latuda helped with weight loss but created insomnia. I'm really sensitive to meds that work on norepinephrine. Risperdal helps me the most but the weight gain succckkkkssss a s s.

i slept a bit. it helped calm my nerves. i might sleep again

To those of you struggling

I'm feeling really paranoid...

Thank you cracking, I'm feeling really scared.

I'm really sorry that you are struggling right now. I wish you could share the name of this organization with us. It might help us in knowing what it is so that we'll know what to suggest for you to do. What do you think?

Just got back from seeing divergent at the movies...it is awesome....total girl power! Highly recommend

my nerves have calmed down a little but the voices and slight paranoia is still here. i think taking my meds helped a bit.

but im having these weird psychotic thoughts like wanting to drive with my car door open kinda thoughts again

I dont think anyone has found a solution to the weight gain problem on those drugs. I really wish they would!