Roll Call 21

I think the Geodon is making me more social. Cool. Weird though.

In other news, I had really bad anxiety last night for absolutely no reason. I thought I saw somewhere that anxiety can be a side effect of APs, so maybe that's it?

Am I stupid to go and see my GP?? I'm just desperate for someone to believe me and help me somehow...but I don't want to make things worse for myself...idk! :/

*Willow*

i dont think its stupid. if you need help you need help.

I'm very sorry you're struggling tonight You are not worthless and you are not a piece of poo. You are an awesome person! You are very important to us here!

atypical are you doing alright? roll calls moving so fast i missed your post.

thinking about you <3

Thank you, I actually deleted my original post because it felt stupid. The thing of it all, I'm depressed as hell. It's been awhile since it's been this bad. I feel completely worthless and just bad. It sucks.

do you know what brought this on? something happen?

Nothing happened, it just came out of the blue. I had been in a mixed state for awhile and now it's just crashing into full on depression. It sucks.

(((hugs))) atypical.

try not to let it get to you too much. distract yourself.

sometimespsychotic isnt on here as much as she used to be

How do you normally deal with the depression? I don't know if this will work for you or not but you pick 3 good things you like and do them together....things you normally find fun because you might not find anything fun if you're getting depressed....it's good to combine as many senses as you can...so you mentioned art...get out your paints....put in some music you like your absolute favorite and then why not use taste as your third and go for something yummy like a piece of chocolate...so sometimes when you sort of bombard your senses with thing you love you can pull yourself out of depression before it gets too deep...

good advice Sometimesp

Yeah busy today groceries then movies and now cooking...stopped for a piece of sour cherry chocolate bread but still have to make my key lime raspberry tiramisu for this guy who's leaving work for the Netherlands where his fiancé is tomorrow is his last day...

I normally don't deal with it very well because it's kind of a rare thing for me. I get manic, I get hypomanic, I get mixed, I rarely get straight depression. This is good advice though so thank you.

(((hug)))

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http://i.imgur.com/8fN10tr.jpg

Saw this apparently some place called cliff house in San Francisco...totally made me think of you newtus...

Thanks for replying Newtus

I didn't make an appointment. I'm scared he won't believe me. Anyway Mum has to go back into hospital again today (4th time this year!) so I have to focus on her. I'm not important.

*Willow*

Freudian slip! Meant to write 'it's not important' but that works just as well!

Atypical: I'm sorry you're depressed I focus on distracting myself from how I'm feeling. It doesn't make me feel better per se, but it reduces me thinking about how bad I feel, which stops me feeling worse

*Willow*

You're important! you need to take care of yourself too. I would make that appointment after taking your mom to the hospital.

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement Erti! I bit the bullet and made an appt. I'll see my GP on 16th. Just got to try not to stress about it now!

The sun is out so I feel like I should take the dogs to the park for a nice walk, but I kind of don't want to get out of bed... Decisions, decisions!

*Willow*

today is the last day im seeing my dad before i go on the trip so hes taking me out to breakfast

I broke down last night and I just can't do any homework. I keep having panic attacks and I am barely sleeping. I feel awful and I just want to hurt myself so badly. Work has pushed me to the edge and now I feel like I fell off the cliff into terrible symptoms of mania. I can't take my extra dose of my risperdal because I work tonight so I'm just trying to be okay on my own. I wish my parents could help me, but they discriminate mental illness so badly. They'll just tell me "you don't have the time to be mentally ill, get your **** together and stop feeling sad". They think having a mental illness is just being sad and don't understand that it is also biological along with psychological. I get so frustrated when normal people like my family don't regard mental illness as something severe until I have a manic episode and call an ambulance on me...

O medicalfox,,, big (((hug)))
Im sorry your feeling this way and no support IRL.
Were here for you as best as we can.

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