Roll Call 25

i feel like this depression is choking me. i cant breathe.

I ran into old pdoc on the bus..I think he wanted to sit next to me but I didn't look up till he moved away then I just sort of waved hi and looked down again...I was actually reading this amazing paper kind of a rare eureka moment and didn't want to be interrupted now I feel kind of guilty...plus I have to see new pdoc...hopefully for the last time(freedom!) tomorrow...I just think the timing is odd...I haven't seen him in months although we take the same bus route everyday then the one day I have something better going on I randomly run into him...weird...

Oh that sucks big time! I hope it's on now

It's the last week of class and I'm doing pretty well, I'm not manic and have been pretty stable even though I still suffer from bad thoughts. I finished one final and am waiting to see what my grade is for my class, it will be a B+ or higher so that's good.

Is everybody in bed?

I'm awake and will be all night since I work 3rd shift. How are you doing sunshine?

I'm doing ok. Have been feeling paranoid lately. Don't wanna take more risperdal so I'm managing.

How about u?

I'm doing okay too. Been trying to keep my self together for the end of the semester and can finally relax next week, I'm so happy the semester is almost over.

lol here in Canada we get hail bigger than golf balls but I did hear about tennis ball sized hail in the states.

OOooh god we're all with you in that one..

Suddenly the voices started up all at once. First it was a room full of talking people that I couldn't understand. Then it was a man and a woman talking about me behind my back. Then the man and the woman started talking directly to me telling me to SI. I freaked out and obeyed them. I was doing so well, but I had to freak out and obey them. I'm just stupid.

You're NOT stupid, in any way.

I'm staying up. Think the manic swing is hitting. I will be up to a therapeutic level of my mood stabilizer in about 2 weeks. Just hope I don't get too hypo.

Bean is still not back in school. Too paranoid. We drive up and she cant get out of the car. Got her on only 30mg zyprexa. Thats it. Letting her body flush everything else out for now. I dont know....pdoc is thinking haldol in the future but I told him for now, lets ease up on meds and try to ride it out. Bean agrees with me... she wants to try and manage some of this crap without 8-10 pills a day. Tired of this sh#*.

punky

Oh punky. My heart goes out to you and little Bean. It's not fair, that's all there is to say about it. I hope very soon she feels better.

*hugs* for everyone who's struggling atm. I'm not very good at advice but your in my thoughts

my heads killing me. migraine.

sorry to hear about bean punky. i keep hoping things turn around for her. i really do. my prayers go out to you and her as do my thoughts.

i might go back to that old therapist and see what those rules are

I hate that u get migrains all the time.

punky

ive been getting severe migraines since i was 9 years old. they are usually stress related. usually always

I get them too Newtus and they suck big time! I feel for you hun

im here at my new therapist an hour early sitting in my car

Good luck newtus

hm...didnt like him