Roll Call 25

Lol I just like shrimp skampy ( however you spell it.)

Cracking, mine was boring. My son didn't do anything...

Is it normal for u guys to have that kind of weather this time of yr?

When I would cry my father would get very agitated and make me feel worse once he even pulled up a chair and sat down and insisted that I was faking and I was fake crying and told me he was going to sit there the whole time and watch me cry to see how long I could fake it for.he had been drinking beforehand too.I ended up running out of the house and trying to run away but was caught and forced to go back home.I learned from a young age to bottle up my feelings which was never a good idea.its given me trouble in expressing my emotions because of the fear and paranoia that was instilled in me from childhood.

Even when they say "I'll give you something to cry about" I could never stop. I can never stop. When they "give you something to cry about" it just made me cry harder.

I still cry too but I would run away and cry in secret....I usually hide and stay to myself when I am in a crying mood.

my dad alwys said that

When I cried my dad would say it was fake saying was just trying to get sympathy. Crocodile tears he'd say and start shouting worse at me saying I was weak. Now I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I cry. I hate crying it makes me feel weak.

I tried that too when I was living with my dad. I failed. My younger sister saw me cry she ask me what was wrong and I would say I miss my mom. Then she tell my dad and step mom and it for some reason I'd get spank. I was never really alone at my dads. My sister and brothers and I would be locked in a bedroom all day and sometimes without food.

Nothing is normal for Texas weather. It can change very quickly.

That is terrible that never happened to me but my mother once told me she got locked in a closet for several hours when she was crying when she was a child.but she had a very abusive father.that must have been a scary experience sorry they did that to you erti

When I was younger I would get beatings. It would get worse if I cried. And I would also concentrate really hard not to cry when my mother did it to me. I wanted her to think that no matter how hard she hit me she could not hurt me. That's a sick way of thinking for a small child. But when my step dad did it he hit much harder than she did so I'd always end up a sobbing mess.

Yeah. I remember playing with one of my sisters play phone and I would try to call my grandmother on it in hopes that it would call but never did. It hurt a lot.

Bless you cracking I can relate my dad game us beatings and would get even angrier if we cried. Sorry you went through that

Yay. Got my medication without complications! Today is a good day.

When my beloved Nan died, I never saw my parents cry. I was 8, so I thought that only babies cried and that grown ups didn't cry even when they felt really, really sad. I never doubted that my parents weren't sad, I just thought that I had to learn to suppress my emotions. I stopped crying, but tried to hurt myself in secret, and when I didn't succeed, I started to starve myself, so that was my pain struggling out I guess. I even saw a clinical psychologist once for not eating, but I somehow knew not to tell them that I tried to strangle myself or that I was not eating so I'd die as punishment for being out with friends when my Nan died. It's amazing when you think about how kids learn things.











Yeah I thought that (bit in bold) too, so I would never cry in front of the bullies at school, or my family during my teens when my brother was physically abusive and I was alienated from my family (my Mum never hit me, well once, but was sometimes really mean, but then I was mean to her too).



During my teens when I was miserable both at school and home, I retreated to my bedroom and entered this fantasy land based on a TV programme I watched. They were my only friends, and I would be so happy living there. Pretending all of that was the only thing that kept me going through those difficult years. It was my respite.



*Willow*

I'm so sorry to those of u that experienced abuse as a child. to ALL of you.

I'm on 40mg right now, today has actually been a lot better than things have been lately so maybe that means it's starting to help?

I'm going to need a higher dose though, I can tell.

Thank you for asking. I hope you're doing okay?

To the rest of you, I can relate to the whole crying discussion. My dad always said "I'll give you something to cry about" blah blah threats blah blah abusive. Just yeah, I get it.

I hope u start to feel better. I started feeling better on latuda at like day 5.

I'm ok. Feeling paranoid today. I need to get groceries today and don't wanna, but I have to.

I may take a lorazepam, I never take them in the day but can. I think I'll take one.

I don't usually post in this forum, but I've been experiencing the beginning of paranoid thoughts, people following me, laughing at me, etc, as well as thoughts of specific delusions but for now I can talk myself out of them. I'm still able to think "no that's too crazy to be true". Hopefully I can hold out. For clarity, I've been experiencing psychosis since teenagehood, so this isn't new. Here we go on another cycle.

...i fell asleep and awoke to find my depression waiting for me...

I am home! It's so wonderful!! I've been lounging around in my Pjs and it feels sooo good! lol
I have a follow up appointment later this week and I have make sure to stay on track and take this risperdal and not miss a dose. I can do this I will do anything to make sure I don't have to go back there ever again! Yaaay!!! I am spending time with my Fiancé and it's just great! How is everyone doing tonight? I feel so relieved! I feel like I was in that place for ages.
So glad to be out of there and back home!!!

i just want to let you guys know i took my meds. i dont want to be in the hospital again.

cracking my power went out for hours.

So got bathed and put makeup on. Now waiting for a cab. It sucks not having a car. My son's going with me, so I won't feel as paranoid.

I am going to go watch a movie with my Fiancé I will be back on later! I hope your depression clears up Newtus. Be safe everyone