Roll Call 26

Ok I'm glad you're still good but yeah my break was in the summer...so I have to agree with that assessment...

im crying so hard. my mom said she wants to distance herself from me. at first she said "for forever" then she said "for a short period of time". i told "why are you doing this? i need you the most in my life right now than anything. she said because i said she wasnt a perfect mom but i said that didnt change how i felt about her. that i still love her. i called my sister and my sister is upset a bit with my mom because she called my mom to find out why she said that to me and my sister told me my mom had been drinking.

i swear.

both my parents are alcoholics. but ive never heard my dad said he wanted to distance himself from me for forever. my mom said she was gonna "teach me a lesson and leave me". i was so upset and crying my eyes out.

today WAS good. now its turned very very very awful. this is usually why i dont hang around my mom. because something like this seems to ALWAYS happen. she says hurtful things to me.

Newtus: I'm very sorry your mom did that to you
Alcohol can make people say and do some really dumb things. She probably feels guilty for not being a good mother to you and for not being there when you needed her the most. That stuff she said was all about her not you.

Yes and it makes me terribly manic

I hope punky is okay and bean, abuse is scary and no one deserves it.

Willow, yeah I'm on a cto, my Dr has already talked about me going back just for the injection, but if I could just manage to stay on my feet one time, I'd be ok.

I hope you have a nice time in France

Newtus, sorry you're mam said that.

whats with these community liasons posting fluff on all the threads. "thanks for sharing". its like can u come up with an original response? its just fluff. idk it gets on my nerves.

also i have to work today and tomorrow and tuesday and i keep thinking about quitting my job. i think im turning into an agoraphobic. i just do not want to leave my apartment. this is new too cuz i used to always want to be out doing something. at least i dont use as much gas as i used to

That's exactly what I was thinking, hahahaha.

They are just cleaning up old threads with no responses....I mean for me if somebody hit the the thanks button that's good enough I don't really need the actual comments but I think in general the idea is pretty good because they can bump old comments so they might get a response. At the same time it feels weird and oddly like monitoring to me....I'm not sure exactly why it's happening but I saw it on other boards too like sza so it's site wide. Interestingly I feel like the overall number of posts is down right now....maybe they are trying to expand that by keeping the convo going?

sometimes I get the strongest feelings of deja vu I feel that certain things have happened before and like I am re living my past everything happening has happened before either that or there are two different realities and I am living in both of them and one reality is a few minutes behind the other the one I am currently in is behind in time than the other one.and the other reality me just experienced this event and this one is just now catching up to it and somehow I am linked to both realities so I get the sensation of deja vu because this event really did just literally happen in the other reality and I've now caught up to it.I have watched a show before that said alternate realities with alternate copies of us probably do exist so it makes more sense.

I've been experiencing a lot of deja vu lately too, Lillybird.

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1401648854.701650.jpg

I like this

newtus: how are you doing today?

Punky: Please PM me when you can. I'm worried about ya girl!

Google dejavu and epilepsy , you dont need to depend on mysticism. Not saying you have epilepsy , but the brain in an altered state, epelipsy being an example , its not a stretch to say this can occur in psychosis , depression , etc

i was very depressed today after my mom said she didnt want to be in my life anymore. it turns out she had been drinkin and was just saying overemotional stuff. it really upset me.

anyway went shopping today again and had a panic attack in the store

I'm really sorry about your mom
I'm glad you were able to go out shopping again. But I'm sorry you had a panic attack in the store.

I feel weird I am starting to wonder if I am being toyed with.I think someone or something is mentally toying with me like some twisted cat and mouse game.

Lillybird90

ugh. just got home from work. it wasnt so bad. but time was going SO SLOW the last hour. it helps when im working with friendly coworkers. ive made some friends there. but they are all teenagers. im 27. i ask them how old they are and they say 17, 19. im like wow. and i ask them how old they think i am and they all say 19, 20. so when i tell them im 27 they are like WOAH! it makes me feel old. but i am old. i dont feel 27.

i put on my application that i cant work before 3pm tues and thurs. but they scheduled me for 7am to 2pm on tues. i was just gonna work it but i told the store director about it and they took tuesday off my schedule. i was glad bc i couldnt meet with T before work on monday. but T said he can meet at 11 am on tuesday. so it worked out. i texted T that i made it thru work and he said yay and he is proud of me and that im getting stronger.

yay!

also i had to drive a coworker home on my break. the manager asked me if i would. i thought it was odd. but the lady had been working for 10 hours and was gonna have to walk. so i did. it wasnt far.

didnt know you were 27. thought you were younger

i think im like the youngest one here

I think I'm the oldest one here.