Roll Call 27

I have to agree with Atypical on this one....if I remember right you're seeing your T again tomorrow and she's the one who was all about the medication contract. Are you prepared to give her up? I'm not sure if you're aware but you have more symptoms when you're not regularly taking meds and if it's apparent on the forum I'm sure a trained professional can detect it as well.

Have to agree too my dear...

punky

i will take my haldol tonight. i just didnt take it ONE time. ONE. how is that sabotaging myself.

im really upset about my weight ok.

please im sorry but im upset about my weight i just didnt take the haldol this morning but i been taking every night and day.

im sorry im really upset about my weight . its been 3 months and i gained 10 pounds. barely losing.

That just doesn't even make sense to me. I think depot might be the answer for you. I hate seeing what you do to yourself. You are worth so much more than that.

Clearly, one time is all it takes. And Newt... You sure do have a lot of people who care about you...

nooo
the depot made me gain weight. i was on 100mgs of haldol and i gained weight. 30-40 pounds

If you don't want to be on depot then take your meds without missing any doses. It's that simple.

Newtus:
Look no one is blaming you or anything we all know it sucks...the weight gain is terrible but if you want to keep your T you're going to have to try to manage your weight while staying on meds. Last time you went off meds to lose weight you ended up in the hospital, had to go back on meds and rapidly regained what you lost. Any weight you lose off meds isn't going to stay off if you start taking meds again and you can't keep your T if you aren't
on meds.

10 pounds really doesn't mean much when it's stacked up against debilitating delusions, paranoia and voices.

I'm trying to figure out how on earth you would be able to enjoy being all skinny if you are paranoid, have delusions of being watched, and are or turned by critical voices. You deserve better.

thats the problem. theres gotta be some way around this weight gain. but i cant even lose it either. im exercising ... eating healthy and less. maybe i need to exercise more.

i just took my haldol JUST NOW. the night time round. so no need to worry anymore. i wanna keep my therapist. id do a depot if i could stay the same low weight on it. id do anything if i could just be my weight i was a year ago.

Exercise is great...not so much for immediate weight loss but because once you have muscle it burns more energy just being there. My cousin is a personal trainer who is all muscle and she eats 2,500-3,000 calories a day just to maintain her ultra thin weight.

Could you start training for a goal like a marathon?

maybe. i did a 5k couple months ago

thank you for helping sometimesp

Please don't say you'd do anything. Don't stop your meds to loose weight. I understand not wanting to gain weight. But if you have o choose between gaining weight or being desperately afraid and so miserable that you entertain thoughts of ending your life.... Then you will have to choose. Weight - or misery.

I hope I'm not offending anyone with my being so direct... I just want to provoke Newtus to think hard about her choices

On the subject of meds, I'll be off mine by next Friday, because my solicitor is awesome.
Although I'll still be getting gang stalked, so everything will still suck.

And you won't have to go back on them? Is it still possible for you to be hospitalized? I'm just worried that if you stop the meds, then you'll go back to feeling like you are in danger... And will carry weapons to protect yourself, then get yourself right back in the hospital.

There were people knocking on the door I quietly ran downstairs then opened the door and peeked outside I heard them scurry off I am really scared right now.they might be involved with the people who are following me and keeping tabs on me.

I'm afraid to leave my flat today. I'm afraid the spies have people working for them disguised as members of the public. They're out to try and listen to my thoughts. I don't know what it is that they want from me, but I'm not giving it to them. I just can't leave the flat. I don't want people listening to my thoughts.

I woke up my parents and told them about someone knocking on the door but no one else in the house seems to have heard it.Im still afraid.

Crescent - my solicitor is going to get me off the CTO and help convince them I'm not sick.
I'm already taking my knife out, only reason I didn't have it yesterday was because I was going to see the police and they always search me now.

Have you talked to your solicitor about the gang stalking? Can they help with any of that?

No one can help with the gang stalking it goes too deep, there's no one that would even look into it, it's dangerous and they have an expendable army.

from what i know about APs is they dont MAKE u gain weight. they increase ur appetitie and that results in weight gain if ur over eating. there are ways to manage this and still be on an AP