Roll Call 27

i knowww. im not sure if im able to watch it tho. i have to goto my moms house late tonight. ill see if i can watch it tho

I went to yoga tonight it was great! I've finally found myself a hobby I can enjoy something to look forward to in the week

turns out im not going to my moms house or gettinn the mri. my moms out of town and wanted me stepdad to take me to this appt. i barely know him. hes a stranger to me. im afraid to sleep at that house with him there. im afraid hed do something to me. idk what but im afraid. so i told my mom im not going. i told my dad the situation and he was upset she put me in that situation with my stepdad. i just couldnt do it i couldnt spend the night with a male stranger to me. thats how he is to me. sorry to say. my moms mad but i told her before she went out of town to make an appt when shes here but she said no just go. so now shes made at me.

There's an election in my city soon and I applied to work at the polls Election Day. Polls are open 12 hours but I was expecting 8 hour shifts. I took 3 buses out into the boonies for training only to be told that since I can't work the whole 12 hours (I have class for the first 3) I can't work at all. It's going to take me hours to get home, I wasted two bus tickets, I don't have enough money to buy bus tickets to get to my medical appointments now. Or buy food. I really needed that job, even just one day. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Orange is the New Black new season is tomorrow! Ha can't wait.

Newtus I agree with you! She should of been able to take you to the appointment and stayed with you the whole time! Not dump you off on your step dad whom you are not comfortable with. Shame on her!

That sucks! I'm sorry that happened to you

I am so excited too! I've been counting down the days!

https://www.facebook.com/OITNB/photo...type=1&theater

This picture made me lol.

Right! Some of those comments cracked me up too! I've done real good about getting up super early the last two days and being super productive. Now that Orange Is the New Black is coming back on I'll be up super late watching back to back episodes! So much for getting myself on a good schedule! Lol!

Lol I'll be watching it on my ex boyfriends netflix account. I may stay up 'till midnight to watch an episode or two.

I'm watching the last episode of Season 1 right now to refresh my memory!

I might do the same but I normally don't like to watch something twice.

turn of events - my dad said hed take me (not my stepdad my real dad) im excited

People are all like "oh your depression isn't REAL BIPOLAR depression if it's triggered by something" like in order to qualify for a bipolar diagnosis you have to only be manic or depressed if you have no reason.

Well I AM bipolar and I can't afford to eat and I'm sorry but that makes me feel BAD. Maybe even DEPRESSED. But oh gee, that's an external trigger. Guess I'm not a real hardcore bipolar guy then.

I mean, I'm not going to wind up in the hospital (though that would solve the food problem) but I am going to ask my pdoc to up my Abilify on Monday to help me get through this.

It also makes me feel helpless, hopeless, and trapped.

You know with cbt they think all your depression is caused by something even if it's just an internal thought process and if you can identify it you can correct it and you can overcome it. Most people just aren't aware enough to realize there is a reason they are depressed. Do you get food stamps or visit a food pantry or anything else to get assistance? Alternately you might want to find some freegans...they are highly resourceful when it comes to food.

Hope things work out better for you soon....

I might be able to get to a food bank once this month, but I don't even have enough for bus fare to get to one... I have three rides left and I need to go to and from my pdoc appointment on Monday and to and from my nephrologist appointment on Wednesday, so I don't have enough bus fare.

I'd love to correct and overcome this. I'm TRYING. I tried hard for that job but it didn't work out, I've applied for several jobs and the only one who replied said they'd be hiring in July and will keep my resume on file. While I was stuck in the middle of nowhere waiting for the bus after the elections people said I couldn't work, I did think "well at least it's pretty" but you can't eat or pay bills with pretty. I'm trying to sell my belongings but I have little left of any value. I have an old laptop, last time I tried to sell it for parts the guy offered me $20, so I'm going to take it to a different store tomorrow.

I'm sorry your job didn't work out and as far as the cbt angle not everyone agrees on the causes of depression...some people do better with a chemical imbalance model some people do better with a psychological basis some are a little bit of both and I'm sure there are even more theories. I just meant that having an actual reason to be depressed in my opinion doesn't invalidate it at all it just means you are closer to fixing things than other people who don't see the triggers or perhaps have a different capacity.

I'm not sure how urban you are but buses are a good sign. If you can pick up a used bike at a garage sale or Craigslist you might be able get around easier. I don't know how far you have to travel....

Newtus: My son just told me that NBA is on our channel tonight so no Black Box! That's a bummer!!!

Dumpster Directory : freegan.info

So here is some freegan info yes it's dumpster diving but you're talking all packaged stuff...markets toss a huge amount of stuff that's never been touched because it's slightly less than perfect. Ideally you want to find local freegans to help you get started but it's a sustainable lifestyle and good for the environment etc. If I could not afford food or travel to get food it's what I would personally do.

I know I'm excited!

I'm glad you didn't have to stay. Did you have to call an ambulance to take you for the injection?

Is it the medicine that you believe is poison going to your heart, or are you speaking metaphorically?

I'm sorry ur struggling so badly. My depressions, anxiety, paranoia and manias can be triggered by events. And I know I'm bp, took like 7 tests in the hospital and I trust what that pdoc diagnosed me as.

Can u get family to help or donate plasma?

TheatreKid
I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. Does your college have any resources? A meal program or transportation assistance? What about getting some assistance through a local church?