Roll Call.....#30

Thank you!

well i didnt go anywhere today. too anxiety filled day and paranoid. my cigarette smoking quittig plan isnt working just yet but i guess i gotta figure something out. i just feel like im being watched and physically feel people watching me. its so weird. i keep feeling im being watched by racists and the police.

Do you think cutting down on the cigs impacted your anxiety? The withdrawal can cause that...

What to Expect from Nicotine Withdrawal

I'm so bored now. It's hot here, that's unusual.

How's everyone?

Meh...I keep getting irritated for no reason...I am hoping it's just because I changed the way I was eating while I was sick and went back to too high of sugar....I need to cut down again....hopefully that is all it is...

How are you aside from bored?

I'm ok. Yeah maybe it is the sugar. Yesterday all I had all day was ice cream and a sandwich. So similar to you.

I'm hoping a friend calls. She's busy but she might be able to call. I might rewatch orange is the new black. Have u seen it?

Yes ice cream is my choice food apparent my mom was sick when she had me and lived on milk shakes....I think I may have absorbed that from before birth...

I started watching orange is the new black but have not made it past halfway through the first episode where she just got brought in....I jump around between a lot of half done stuff ever since I got sick....I have like five books halfway through a few DVD courses etc....I never left anything half done before though so it's weird...

Ok to I just finished my cdrwaing of what a utopian city should look like when I'm old and I would take a picture but I don't know how to upload from an itouch so I can't show u guys and I would be holding it up but I'm really pale and boney so I wouldn't. (Especially my arms)

well i havent cut back really. im still smoking the same amount. i notice i smoke when im bored but i notice i really need that morning smoke right when i wake up. i think i would get more anxiety from cutting back on cigs because it kind of helps my anxiety a bit. then i would need more xanax. :/

thanks for the link

Oh I thought you had cut back some since starting that migraine med at least compared to what you were smoking the week before which I thought was like way more somehow....like you were running out.

Hopefully your e-cig comes and you can cut back that way or at least cut out the smoke element...

It helps to have a hosting service like photobucket....you can just email to your account to upload mobile then you just click and paste the image link to the right of the pic...

Welp went outside with uncle Tim while he smokes a joint. He's playful with the dog and tells the dog he loves him.

Can't say I've ever been around any family member smoking a joint.....alcohol....yes....excessively....

yea i have my ecig now. i bought at a store. my dad made me buy the juice wit no nicotine but somehow i feel that cuts back on the experience.

I'm sure it does....I'm wondering if you could blend 50/50 with the regular while you're cutting back?

I've been around family getting high and drunk. Not just pot either. I normally just stay away.

Man you've been sick for awhile. Hope ur on ur way to healing.

I find orange is the new black really entertaining. Before I went through that psychosis I would read 4-5 books at a time. Now it's hard to concentrate on one. So I hear ya.

I don't know what to say to that. I would be scared to be around anything stronger than weed. I have been in the past, but now I would feel really uncomfortable. I hope ur ok...

Oh no I'm not sick anymore I was OK on Friday but after 2 weeks of ice cream I'm still eating weird....like I went to mcDs and got a milk shake last night along with a burger etc....but like tonight I had a goat cheese and sautéed veg sandwich on 9 grain bread....that is much more me but still pretty bland...normally I like spices and herbs and stuff...it was just weird I would look at food and not want it at all....I wish I knew what caused it so I could take it if I ever have to go back on APs again not the virus just whatever body chemical you know...I could make a fortune with that diet....eat all the ice cream you want and lose weight

I'm alright. My uncle Tim isn't doing anything harder.

Oh good, I'm glad ur finally better. Yeah, u could make a fortune, lol.

Omg a helicopter is flying over my house they found me I'm really scared but with the energy I have right now I could probably outrun in!! Yesterday they started putting snipers around my neighborhood too they found me and they are ready to take me out i should have hid my immunity to brainwashing!!!

That's good. In my family they don't barely even drink, lol. I'm so not against weed though. It makes me paranoid but if it didn't, I would smoke it and enjoy it. It's legal here so....

Lol surprisingly I've never smoked weed. I've had bad reaction to alcohol though so I don't drink obsessively either.

I haven't either and now given what I know about psychosis I never would even if it becomes legal...