Roll Call 41

you guys I am having some issues things aren't going so well with me mentally at the moment. I don't know what to do. I might need my meds upped or something... but this is scaring me and I feel confused and afraid right now.

good night guys

ohhhhh whats wrong im here 4 u

Finished reading mind estranged......for some time I've been looking for a mirror of myself in this illness and it's the closest I've come. The woman is a molecular biologist who at the peak of her psychosis wanted to give everything to charity and even has red hair. Now the main difference is she has full sz, she actually did give everything to charity and was homeless for four years before going on clozapine and finishing her bs. I see it as something that could have easily happen to me had I not gotten treatment. It's helpful for me to hold that up there as a solid reason to keep on my meds, therapy etc. To some extent she is what I could have been but I have had it so much easier and need to be thankful for that....anyway it's a good book....

Sorry things are going poorly.....what dose of haldol are you on these days?

yeah it sucks this is the first time its happened to me. they put the 60 dollars back into my account but they are still investigating it. it makes me mad. i hope they are able to track down who did that

I've never had them find anyone and I've had this happen like three times on one card.....they just give me a new card and I start again although there is a fee of $10 for each new card. The first time I had to fill out paperwork the second and third time they didn't ever let the charges go through....they just blocked the card and I had to call to get it reactivated....

i got power in my new apartment!!!! hopefully work will let me off next week so i can move finally.

im seeing T tomorrow and i wanna pack stuff

hmmmm interesting. they dont charge me for a new card. i called and she closed it out and said she will be mailing a new one. i filed a dispute on the banks website. pretty sure it was someone in Washington state. dont know who that would be tho. wondering if they hacked my xbox or my paypal acct. i think they hacked my xbox. but i changed EVERYTHING even my netflix and hulu passwords.

It probably got hacked then sold on the black market to whoever so it's good you closed it out but it should be fine now although I know it's unerving.

when they had all those companies being hacked into and card info stolen a few months ago i got sent a new card. i didnt get charged for it tho.

sorry i couldnt talk to you for longer Bean. i was watching a movie. im sorry

soooo when i was on break from work i was in my car and there was a suv parked in front of my car the windshield facing me and some man was in it. i saw him flip this thing down near the rear view window and it looked like a camera, like a dash cam. ive never seen a dash cam before but i was like umm is this guy recording me? he was there when i got in my car and was still there when i left 15 min later. i just googled what dash cams look like and im pretty sure thats what it was. so now im all worried abt why this creepy old man was filming me.... or maybe it was nothing??? i hate when stuff like this happens and i dont know if i am being paranoid or if it was really just harmless.... but i had a weird feeling about it

ughhh now i cant stop trying to figure out why that guy was filming me. what have i done

Hi, it was probably nothing. Good luck with your move!

I missed a lot here like usual. I'm just getting up. I should make coffee.

I had coffee. Now I should probably make some tea.

By the way, I never mean to come across as distant - I get overwhelmed very easily by lots of posts so please no one ever think I'm ignoring or being standoffish - I'm just withdrawn and panicky.

UGGGGGG im missing my 1st basketball game of the season because i went home yearly i understand but still!!!!!!

Sorry you're missing your game Bean! Hopefully you'll have lots of others to enjoy.

dont worry what movie? was it good?

I was worrying about being stalked last night and the end result was me being unable to sleep. By the time I managed to drop off it was in the early hours of the morning. So today, I'm exhausted and still worrying about being stalked.

i watched Deliver Us From Evil.
i didnt get to finish watching it. ill finish it later tho. its pretty long.
it was ok. not bad. not real good.

nice im watching the Fosters and chillin

I am having trouble understanding people clearly and the voices are getting louder and stranger and I have been having very unsettling nightmares lately.and I don't know why, I haven't been doing anything differently lately.

I know what you mean about having trouble understanding people clearly, I have this problem a lot. It's very frustrating to say the least. I'm sorry about the voices too, I know how much that sucks.