Roll Call 42

i dont think my sz was obvious until i got about 17 years old. it only got extremely worse from that age. and ever since then it just has been obvious.

Mine was blatantly obvious like when I was 14... god diganosed with sz when I was 15...sighing... dying, crying, away with that.

I got sick around 7 or 8 years old but I have no memory of when it started. I know I was sick by 8. No one diagnosed me because my parents thought it was a phase and they tried beating it out of me for years. Amazing I survived.

I started having symptoms when I was a kid, too... didn't get full blown though until I was teenager.

Mine held steady until I was 49. Except I did have a psychotic episode in college after I was raped. :/

same. got sick around 9. but the symptoms were here and there. i got 1 full blown episode at 15 and i did get diagnosed at 15. but it still was here and there until i got 17 and then my whole world just did a 360. its like never been the same since. i almost failed high school because of the symptoms at 17 and they put me in some kind of special remedial high school so i could pass. and i was in special ed for mentally disturbed children.

I was lucky I didn't go through major changes like that in high school. High school is one of the only good memories I have thanks to my friends.

oh man high school was the worst for me. i had only 1 friend. everyone thought i was very weird. people thought i was the spawn of satan. people would say that and then when i would goto the hospital during high school there were many rumors that i had gone to jail for killing someone or that i killed myself.

i was hospitalized 4-5 times during 2008 and one of those times i was transferred out of the hospital to a residential treatment facility where i was supposed to stay there from 17 to 24 or 25 years of age. it took a crap load to get myself out of that and even tho my parents wanted to put me in there too - i begged and pleaded to them that i didnt want to go and they helped me get out of it. well my dad pretty much did. my mom didnt care. im so glad that i never had to be there.

its bad enough being in hospitals but my life wouldve been extremely crappy if i had to be in that residential facility for 5-6 years. i heard that someone had died there. man...ill prob end up in state hospital some day tho. because ive been threatened that so many times

Yeah I was lucky my psychotic break happened just after I graduated... if it had happened before exams, I probably wouldn't have finished Uni or at least, not the same year as my friends.

Am i the only one whose psychosis was seen as a benefit and enjoyed? Delusions of grandeur were a huge inspiration and source of faith to me. I mean it all finally caught up with me much later in life but that was due to an industrial accident rather than the psychosis per se. Even now i like the fact that my life hasnt been all that ordinary, even if my experiences are entirely false and delusional I still feel like I've been on a wild ride that kept/keeps me entertained.

today marks my 2 yr anniversary of not being in the hospital!

ive been to the hospital countless times. like A LOT

its depressing

but the 2 yrs shows i am improving

I was so blessed that I had good friends then. Too bad everything that happened the past 6 years sort of tore us apart.

diagnosis is not really important to me. or to my T. but my dxs are ptsd, mdd, and psychosis nos (plus an opiate addiction in remission as well as eating disorder)

but yeah, i dont really care abt dx.

i have to work 5 to 9 30 tonight. ON XMAS EVE!!! ugh. then i am going back to my moms tomm morning to open gifts and chill with my sister.

for this next work week they only scheduled me for 1 shift- a 5 hr shift.

im gonna be broke

i ate xmas dinner with my family last night (uncle cousins aunt gma etc). they talked about the holocaust for like an hour. i texted T and was like "im with my family. theyve been talking abt the holocaust for 45 min now" he texted back "A Christmas family tradition!" LOL then he texted me a pic of inside a grocery store and there was water pouring from the ceiling into trash cans. he said "cheer up! you could work here!"

Omg working on Christmas Eve? That just sucks!

But seriously LOL, talking about the holocaust for that long? That's just too funny in a dark way. Yeah, Merry Christ,as folks!

I feel hazy crazy daze today. Weird happenings of explanations . I can't hold onto my thoughts they just swirl around. I like xmaz but it's stressful and I am having extended extentsions family over tomorrow night and omg it's gonna be embarrassing.. they haven't seen or talked to me mjch at all realys sense I go t really sick and stuff...

Um... what the ****.

I guess n0w I'm talking to myself on the internet. I just need to pass tim e lines intersections obsession possession. I think my thoughts are together for a minute of a clock and then they fall apart like docks during a hurricane. Sugar cane smoke really stinks. Wink.

Hi Atypical!

I think I'm tired of Christmas already....we just made sugar cookies and we did presents this morning....I got a case of jam and stuff from the cherry hut and a microwave. Just tired...feel like going I to my room and locking away for a bit. There is just too much noise that isn't me somehow and we have to go to relatives tomorrow night.

Sorry you're not enjoying it SometimesP. We'd better all wish you merry xmas tonight rather than tomoz when youre properly tired of it

Hi Neil! How's you? Shoe. She was me. See bees.

Oh it's nice enough I just have a low level of socialization that I'm pretty comfy with and this is beyond it. I make sure not to visit for more than a week but I think it's amplified by the holidays and expectations and stuff. My head is just spinning.

Im not feeling as poetic as you but i have had the rare second cup of coffee today and im pretty hyper because of it. Are you with friends/family?