roll call 43

I'm just the opposite...I tend to get PO'd if I try to go off the meds....they even stop PMS raging which is kind of nice both for me and those around me....

i saw T . i went to the movies with a friend. then we ate sushi .. it was fun. i had a good day and i feel happy and i feel so much better after the shot!!!!

I want to do a manicure but my nails are stained from cigarettes and look pretty awful. It changes the colors I put on top. Oh well. I can walk around hiding my worst finger from myself (except I can't because it's the one I type with). I have weird problems.

For some reason I didn't get my social security check for the month. Guess who's going to have to call the social security office on Monday... Sighing.

Bad morning... felt fine when I woke up but after walking my dog I got really anxious and stressed. IDK why. Hope my morning meds make it go away soon. I am very thankful for my meds and for the help I get from other people.

I had no choice but to leave the flat today. I had run out of dog food. All along walking outside I knew I was being followed. I didn't feel safe. Thankfully, I managed to avoid the police and made it home safe. I don't want them to lock me away.

Hey kureha ,
Did you get anymore insight into psychosis? Do you still think there are gangs of people following you. Genuinely interested. I assume your now on meds. Its a gift when someone realises what psychosis is and a person feels that they can have a better life.

How is everyone today? Despite the bad weather I'm doing good, weighed myself and I've lost a couple of pounds, who knew that was possible at Christmas time!

Lucky you, I gained five pounds. HAHAHAHA.

I'm doing quite well.

Hi chickenfoot & Atypical. Glad you're doing well! I'm OK. A little cold.

Cool so I downloaded this tapatalk thingy

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Haha 'tis the holiday season so I'm sure you enjoyed it and it was worth the 5 pounds! Glad to hear you're well!

Good to hear you're ok! We've only a few months left and it'll be Summer time! I generally can't deal with the cold, makes me stay in bed with my electric blanket on for hours on end!

Where Newtus be at????

I was thinking same thing Jolisse

Sure is quite around here. I'm sleeping a lot with all this snow...

Where are you newtus?

My PDoc just added Trazodone to the arsenal of drugs I take. It's for the insomnia the Lexapro (SSRI) gives me. It's an antidepressant that's good for anxiety and panic attacks. The average dose is something like 300mg for depression. I'm only on 50mg to help me sleep. I didn't want to wake up this morning. I felt really graugy. I'm taking it at 6pm this time in hopes that It doesn't make me stay in bed until 11am like it did this morning. That's not healthy. I'd rather get up at around 7am.

It took over 2 1/2 years to recover and get the meds right but I think I finally found the best balance I'm going to get. It's kind of sad that this is the most Ill ever be of my old self but it could be worse. I really hope they make great strides in antidepressants soon. There's much room for improvement. I'm experiencing so many side effects it's crazy, and evvery night is different. I'm either agitated, feel numb inside, feel depression, have a panic attack, or have decreased consciousness. I rarely can relax and enjoy myselff after 6pm.

I can really relate to all that, Odysseus.

Maybe you're just making up a sleep deficit and it will get better over time? I hope so....

I don't think that's the case. This stuff takes a couple hours to kick in anyway, and I took it late last night, at 9pm. So I'm thinking taking it at 6pm would be a wiser mood. I'm suppose to take it with food anyway, so it makes sense to take it together with the rest of my meds after dinner. I'll give an update tomorrow. For the time being, it's one of those rare days where I have no side effects and I feel like myself.

not feeling well

Are you still having chest pains? What's going on?

im not having chest pains anymore.
im struggling mentally.
hallucinations & paranoia. mostly.

i stole ambien pills from my mom...
a lot.

...my actions are just becoming more and more...idk. they go along with my paranoia and all that. like old times. like recent too.

...and my actions are...well...paying off?
...got a letter from washington dc about the letter i wrote to...you know...the head chief...too paranoid to say it but you know what im talking about.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well.

Was a drone outside my house last night, it was scary - I was talking to my friend on the phone when I seen it.

That was the final thing for me - I've had them all tell me none of this is real and it's all in my head. That doesn't happen for no reason, so it's my mission to gather evidence.

I haven't felt ok since after Christmas - all this stalking, mind control going on and I don't know who is really my friend or on my side.

As good as abilify is - it doesn't work - if it has no illness to work on.

Newtus - Hope things get better soon