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Thanks Atypical. I love how caring and supportive this little community is.

It's just been a weird two weeks where I've forgotten to take them on and off. I'm going to make it my business to keep taking them properly.

I am on ambien. Get Ready to Ignore any of this!



.......... ...........

I've been dodging police cars all day. On my way to college I saw a police car. At break time I saw a police car. On my way home I saw a police car. I swear the police are getting ready to make a move and I'm not safe. People are stalking me. I've got my mental health team coming to visit me tomorrow but I don't think I can trust them. What if they are helping the police? I've got to find out the truth for myself.

I can't watch person of interest (parnoid schizophrenia )

That has me a little weirded out

whats person of interest about?

i miss my old therapist so much. if my pdoc recommends more therapy and my therapist doesnt listen to me...idk what to do

What do you miss about her? Maybe making a list of things you liked about your old therapist and bringing it to show the new one might help. Just a thought.

i already told the therapist what i missed about the old one and all she said was "i know...sorry. but now you have me". ugh

the old one listened to me more and was more caring. and she would take me outside the building so we could talk instead of just sitting in her office. she would give me coffee from the employee kitchen and gave me my favorite types of candy sometimes. she also gave me a parting gift when she left - she let me pick 1 thing from her office to keep. something reasonable of course but yea she let me. and just a few other things.

i used to think she did that for everybody. i think the candy thing she prob did do for some other people but those other things - the more i thought about it afterwards - the more i realized that i dont really think she did all that other stuff for other people. i also may have been either the only one or one of the few that caused her the most trouble too. i mean i almost tried to choke her and said i was gonna kill her and she sent me to the hospital a few times. which dont get me wrong i hated that so much but it wasnt until 2 or 3 months before she left that i realized i really really like her.

and then out of the blue she said she was leaving and i only saw her 2 more times and then never again.

Wow, I'm sorry this is so difficult for you newtus. I wish I knew how to help more.

I don't want to be triggering but I'm having very strong sui thoughts and urges. I'm feeling very close to the edge.

Nevermind. I'm all right.

But my address book is gone! It's just gone!

you alright angelique? what happend to your address book?

im just going back and forth in my mind of what im going to say to her. so much so that im actually dissociating a bit when thinking about it

Are you sure you're ok?

Yeah life is pretty ok. It's what you make of it. I have a warm place, food, family that cares, loving beautiful son, sweet loving cats. I don't have money or stability really but I have enough to get by.

Some Ppl AND animals throughout the world are far worse off than us...

It's just gone. I can't find it. I called the hotline but I felt weird and hung up before I talked to anyone. I'm OK now but I guess I had too much anxiety. Thanks, newtus.



Yes, thanks Jolisse. But I don't know where it is and it has phone numbers I could never get again.

Just a ton of worry and depression today.

today when i first asked my pdoc that i needed more ambien he wrote me off until my dad spoke up and said how much i really needed it. then he gave me refills. ugh i know im not listened to in that clinic. i told my dad that was gonna happen days before today.

I hate the way they withhold meds. I'm glad they gave you the Ambien, newtus. I wish there was a different t you could see.

I'm exhausted....I'm training in two grad students...I feel like an older dog in a house that just got two new puppies.....they are fun but take a lot of energy to train in. I didn't get home until 8 last night and the night before the snow plows woke me up at 4 am...I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

is it very cold there SP?

i texted T and said um its cold. he said naaahhh. i said yaaahhh. then he called me a wimp. lol he was joking tho. cuz it is pretty cold with wind chill in the neg

It's is zero with a windchill of -22 so yes it's cold.....

its 20 here with windchill

omggg wow