roll call 43

I like her so far. She said her specialty is trauma so we spent the session talking about my past abuse and had me take a questionnaire and according to it I might have some dissociation. Next session is an assessment so we'll see what they'll diagnose me with.

well i went and got a coffee table. i like it. i texted T that i just bought a coffee table cuz im an adult and thats what adults do. he responded and said now you need to get a coffee table book abt coffee tables. i know thats a seinfeld joke bc hes said that to me like 20 times before bc i was always telling him i need a coffee table.

My pdoc told me to "stop wallowing in your own self pity" and "get up of your arse and get a job or go back to college" ... I'm not sure if he was being a d**k or trying to motivate me. Made him sound like a right d**k though.

Why is d i c k ,a bad word

i had a therapist that would constantly say that stuff to me. every other sentence that came out of her mouth was something like that. i only saw her 2-3 times and i never went back. idk about you but that was a low thing for this therapist to say that me and i only met her 2-3 times. she was very rude to me. my mistake for probably seeing someone in a rich area who prob has never seen anyone with schizophrenia.

as much as i hate how this county clinic treats me and takes advantage of me - idk if i want to go pay a 100 or even 75 dollar fee for a therapist who knows nothing about Schiz and belittles me and my past and diagnoses. at least this clinic hasnt ever belittle my diagnoses like outside therapists have. i had an outside therapist that laughed at me for telling her what past pdocs diagnosed me as and said the only thing i had a problem with was anger and stuff.

and when i went to the hospital and they diagnosed me with schizoaffective again i showed it to her and then shes like "ok well maybe you do have it. i dont know".

im so effin tired of therapists. but im trying hard to work it out with this current one

I've been going to this guy for over a year, it's just so random with him. Sometimes he comes across as caring and compassionate and then other times he turns into an a__hole. Like the last few times I've seen him I've been in great form and he's really supportive, now that I'm not feeling the best he's like this. Doesn't make sense to me.

It seems a bit weird in the States. Over here the therapist you see would usually be apart of the mental health multi disciplinary team so they all look after you together as part of a team. I know my last psychologist would submit reports every now and then to my pdoc. Seems silly any other way.

My groceries came but he forgot to return my key. Now I only have my copy.

over here when you goto a county clinic they sometimes have teams but not everyone will get a team of people.

mostly over here (for most people with any condition anyway) you see a pdoc and therapist who are not linked together. but its possible you can get some that are linked.
idk about other people here but ive only seen people with severe mental illnesses with teams here. and the county clinics teams here i had to be referred to them and be in a certain income bracket to have them. i couldnt just walk in and get one.

this isnt everyone tho

Thanks Junk. I'm not allowed to say on here, but there are certain things that a T can legally break confidentiality over. I don't know why he's pretending to be an ethical T when I know he's involved and the Govt will cover for him. All I wanted was for him to talk to them for me, but he won't. Ex-pdoc won't either. She just laughs at me because she enjoys taunting me.

He didn't dump me, I dumped him because I've been seeing him since July and it hasn't helped at all; he made fun of me about Max not being Max by asking me to prove that I was me because I seemed "different" to him and so he didn't know if it was still me; and he kept lying to me. He also wanted me to see him 2x a week for a bit, but I don't have that kind of money (or time) to waste.

I told him my GP wouldn't do anything.

I don't understand what his game is???

Sorry, I'm venting, but I'll shut up now.

*Willow*

Mine are a team....I had to be referred also.....mostly because they weren't taking patients.

yea it isnt everyone in my situation

i thought this was an interesting music video by Sia.
it has a lot of controversy behind it right now in entertainment news.
it stars shia lebouf and maddie ziegler from dance moms

I liked it until I found out she was 11...not sure why they wouldn't use someone older.....

Wow! You should be really proud.

Not. Feeling. Well. My anxiety is through the roof. It's nearly a panic attack. I think I might have to up my dosage of Lexapro, but then I wont feel anything at all. This is going to suck. FML. I do not feel well at all. I can't stand this. All day has felt like this

I hate fighting mental illness while trying to support yourself. It just makes everything so f'ing hard and extra stressful.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

I wish I had help. I feel so helpless about everything, especially about my future. I need a plan, and someone who knows how to help me make a plan to help me secure my future. Juggling all of life's storms and stresses is too much for me sometimes.

Life.

. Can you look through the pics on your phone or wherever from the last year or two while listening to calming music? I know it sounds cornball but it helped me to do just that earlier today...

I've been listening to Nick Drake for an hour now. He's one of my coping mechanisms. Ill give the last suggestion a try too. Thanks, Sometimes.

i heard it was supposed to represent either a father and daughter. OR that Shia represents the physical body and maddie (the girl) represents the vivacious mind/spirit of everybody.

i like Nick Drakes pink moon

Congrats

That's it I'm ****ing fed up. I've been trying to lose weight healthily for weeks now and I just keep going up. **** it. I'm doing it my way. By not eating.

smow snow snow here

so tired

I know the feeling. Didn't want to wake up this morning.