Roll Call 44

I'm sorry it's that way for you....

It's more neutral to me....I've never had it...played around some but it just wasn't making sense to me it wasnt instinctive like people said it would be...

Flirting, love for someone other than parents make me severely anxious. Extremely scared to the point where I get tears and have anger. Most love is fake. And it makes me sick tbh

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It's possible but I'm almost 40 and I haven't run across it yet but to be fair I haven't been looking very hard either....

I haven't been in a relationship or had sex in six yrs. At first it was bc of my back injury and surgery and I could barely move for a while after that. Then 2 yrs later I had the psychosis. I've gained weight from the meds and I don't feel comfortable with my body. And I'm too scared of telling ppl about my mental health issues. It's hard...

Do you have any sexual desires? Sorry, I may be being too blunt....

I guess it's hard for all of us....

Yes but they didn't start until I was 26 but even then TMI self stimulation was sufficient there was no need to involve another person....now ever since the psychosis I haven't had much Interest at all....

Yeah, so true.

Abilify made me less interested and then prescribed methylphenidate killed it. Too much dopamine and I was a sex addict ie adolescent :/ xd

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Concerta wore off. Now I'm agitated and sleepy like my mom before her morning coffee. I noticed why my pupils are always so massive cuz my pdoc says he's never given such a high dose to anyone

Never mind..

It's alright sunshine I like to say I have coping skills but I can't handle stress for the life of me or I'm a stress junky at times when happy idk

My mom and psychiatrist were talking about me having narcolepsy. He said its close and to get a sleep test if have to go off the medication that uh I would be given to treat it.. so..

I only have cataplexy when I've been up for two days. Falling asleep while grinding metal one time.. I remember going in and out of consciousness a lot in school maybe that's why I was hallucinating so much cuz the seroquel made it worse

I have every disorder just slap me on every med give the pharmacist an A4 sheet script he'll see it green chop chop

ugggg funeral today

Awww bean. You'll be in my thoughts.

I always miss the best discussions on rollcall! On the subject of love Id just like to add what ive observed in my own life. It takes a certain state of mind to feel love and its in the same spectrum as wanting to socialize. It all stems from a strong desire to connect with other people and it can be learned or gained over time with practice and experience. i went from having very little connection with people when i was younger and very confused emotionally to virtually being addicted to social interaction now. It may take some exposure therapy to get past the nerves but for me there was a steady progression from making friends to feeling love on many levels. i came to realize that when i was younger i was too unstable emotionally to risk getting hurt by being involved with people even as friends. it is a risk but love platonic or romantic is what makes the world go round. Dont block it out because of fear.

See though for me, I did better when I was younger. Since that break it hasn't been the same. But I still feel love for my son, family and animals. It's just romantic love that I struggle with.

And I've been hurt by a lot of men. I guess I'm kinda jaded too.

Hi Sunshine. Yes for me romantic love is more difficult now because i've had so many relationships not work out. I dont get as wrapped up in new relationships as i used to either. I dont know if thats to be described as jaded or just that none of it is new to me anymore. I still crave it all though, its pretty much all i have left to strive for

Next script of concerta is tomorrow.

Imma sleep until then.

I'm also totally late on this discussion but I just wanted to say I'm a total cynic when it comes to love. Sex, I've had plenty of that lol but as far as the romantic kind of love that people dream of having? Nope. Not me. I don't particularly want it either though sometimes I think it'd be nice to have some kind of connection to someone, I just know that for me, like everything else in my life, it'll be a very atypical thing(hence my username yet again lol).

I feel so wound up it's not even funny, except it is kind of in a dark way. I'm just wired, it took me forever to go to sleep last night and that's with all the meds I'm on. I just wasn't tired. I'm still not.

I give up, I think my psychiatrist should just write FUBAR as my diagnosis and go along with her day. LOL.

What does fubar mean?

Afternoon roll call, hope everyone is good today!

I've just got back from seeing American Sniper at the cinema... quite enjoyed it actually.

Took a procylcidine which seemed to keep the restlessness at bay just. I think it was quite an absorbing film, only looked at the time once or twice, so that helped.

****ed up beyond all repair.

Lol. Yeah I'm kind of in a mood.

I thought it was f'd up beyond all recognition myself...

Sorry you are feeling a bit wired. Is there anything you can do to take the edge off? Like not drink coffee.. ?

never had sex.
havent been messed over by many men so im not that jaded.
im still hoping for that romantic love one day.
or love in general.

with all that said thats not my priority in life. never has been.
when love comes itll come. im not seeking it.

i seek friendships tho. but thats because i just want people to talk to every once and awhile.
but not all the time.

my priority in life is...idk...maybe to become known as someone who will change the world.