Roll Call 44

yes i guess so.im supposed to call the dr

JunkDNA i think you're doing really well. You do things most of us cant or dont. I know you feel stressed or worried alot but you still manage everything and come across as really nice. I hope you find more confidence, you deserve it!

thank u neil.i criticize myself too much

its easy to criticize yourself when you dont feel at ease with everything but compared to most of us you are really productive and managing alot. you should feel good about yourself!

Yes, Neil is right! You can do more than many of us, certainly more than me, and you are really nice.

It's all been said Junk... don't put yourself down, you seem like a great person who does a lot despite your problems.

thnks guys. i got my coach to call the doctor. i need to get my shot. i took a prn earlier . it took me a long time to get to where i can do things like work n school. im almost 28 so i feel like im starting late in life. but ive been thru a lot of trauma and abuse so i guess the fact that im starting at all means something

thank u for ur kind words and support

Really scared - sometimes I wish they would just get it over with - because I'm too weak to do it myself.

Sorry for your loss Bean

You don't sound good Justmeandmyhead. I'm concerned about you. Please stay safe

Can anybody else smell it? I keep smelling weed in/near my house a lot, but my neighbours don't look like your stereotypical stoners, so I eventually asked my Dad etc and nobody else can smell it, so I'm guessing it's just me.

Have you got her a Kong toy? I bought Max a Kong Wobbler which rocks side to side. I put Max's biscuits in there and he has to nudge it around the floor to get the biscuits out. It's really good when I went to uni to keep him mentally stimulated whilst I was out, and if I wanted to study in the house and he wanted fussing. Otherwise it might be worth taking her for a quick walk to tire her out so she'll give you a break. Puppies are hard work, but it gets easier

I feel the same There was a helicopter hovering right over my house earlier for ages, freaking me out. I'm hoping that they don't kill my family, but that would probably be the push that I need to get this over with

T still hasn't gotten back to me. I'm trying to tell myself that he just hasn't seen my email for whatever reason, but I know that he's had enough of me. I told him weeks ago that it was only a matter of time...

*Willow*

Welcome, Dasmo1135, to the forum. I don't know that I can help unfortunately, I take my meds like my life depends on doing what the Dr says.

It really does, don't underappreciate yourself.

Told psychiatrist about the concerta.

He was disappointed and worried because the authorities could be monitoring us. I said sorry.

Taking as prescribed now.

(Soz I edited cuz that message sounded too wrong)

Thank you weepingwillow. I've talked to my bf and he's ringing my cpn next week. I've told him there's no way I'm going on meds though. I'm not covering up the truth anymore.
No one else could smell the faeces so I don't know where it was coming from.
Yeah she has a kong but it doesn't stop her biting everything in sight. I'm done puppy sitting for a while now so I'm glad.
I hope I sleep better tonight. We're going to London for a few days and I'm not sure how it will go I can't be doing with the stress.

i feel weird saying this but i like giving my neighbors weird news regarding them...

like i told them something pooped on their porch. it look like a raccoon did or something. i couldve not said anything at all. but i did.

Once when I was a kid, I woke up at 7am, knocked on my neighbours door until they woke up, while ringing the door bell and said "there's a butterfly in your garden".

It's not all multiplayer, when you do campaign people are playing online too sometimes and it really helps if you have to many enemies. I have Assassin's Creed Unity, but I haven't played it yet.

That's true, atm I'm looking to get an N64 so I can play the old Legend of Zelda games and such.

Today was a good day, helped out my bf today and I got my college schedule all figured out so I feel more excited/relaxed about that. I picked up my books so I'm all ready for my last semester at my current college (:

...since i use my phone on the toilet i hope my phone camera is never hacked...

Willow - hope your T gets in touch soon.

I'm not going to tell my nurse how I feel, because she doesn't care, she only cares about meds and keeping stalkers safe.

Just suck it up like usual.

Idk who tell about this, but I think one of my friends with a similar illness to mine tried to off themself the other day. They left me an alarming message and said they were on their way to a hospital. I hope they're okay ):

My friend is going to be across the sea next month too. I'm so lonely.

If I just see my cpn and refuse to see the psychiatrist can they still force you to take meds or make you go to hospital?

Having bad anxiety now.

I'm getting tired of swimming the ocean. I don't want to fight the tide. I feel like the weightlifter who can't put the things down, but It's just too much to bear. Everything just keeps piling on and all I can do is show up to fight another day, but it's not enough. I can't keep this up. I don't want to keep it up. Before I had hope, now all I have is this mental illness that drowns my hopes and aspirations, my goals and dreams. I started to build a future where I would amount to something but that future is dead, there is no reviving it.

I feel like Theseus in the bowels of the dark labyrinth, except without Ariadne's golden cord to find a way out, or a sword to fight off the murderous minotaur.

My mentor right now would say something like: Look at yourself. Examine yourself. Take stock in yourself. Know what kind of being you are. I gave that future my best shot and now I have to move on and create another future. I just don't see one in sight. Frankly, it scares me, and at times the storms and stresses in life are so unbearable that I want to end it. I don't see a way out of the labyrinth. I feel like I'm destined to sit on the throne of oblivion, drugged out of my mind.