Roll Call 48

i want to order some new plugs for my ears.

Also studying my English.

I think the nicotine helps me to concentrate same with the zyprexa because I'm not as agitated. I'm hoping that my psychiatrist will switch me to 108mg of Concerta so 24mg Ritalin 3-4x a day but he says the "lowest effective dose" when he just increased my Abilify to 15mg so idek

That's one of my favorite subjects. Or I think it was. I wish I could go back and repeat it.

I nearly failed it in my senior year because I was always asleep in class.

Something is messing with my concentration..

I think it might be the Abilify.

What is it like?

I'm listening to Hello Hurricane, and folding clothes. I'm almost accomplishing something.

i had a great day at school 4 the past 2 days and my sisters and my nephew and niece r coming tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant wait <33333

It's like the paranoia is back but it's there and it bothers me when I try to concentrate. I need to give it at least a week or two though to fully notice it's full effects.

Right now I read an argumentative essay on economics. It was two pages.. At least it's something

this might be the first month in more than a year where i havent overdrawn my bank account...

That's awesome! I'm currently not speaking to my bank account.

Took a really nice nap

Think I'm going to start reading a book I got awhile ago but never got around to starting

That's one of my favorite songs!

I know you'll get through it,

I give it to you for reading through anything that has to do with economics. My brain hears the word and goes down the toilet. Which might be why I got out of accounting.

Bang, bang, bang! With moving, working and the tug and tussle of every day life I haven't found a moment to truly relax and read something worthy of my time. I'll be seeing my new therapist in minutes. We're going to do some dbt or cbt. I don't know. I'm willing to put forth the effort of it enables me to enjoy an evening without having a panic attack or depression.

By the way, I painted the walls in my apartment in 15 minutes. Boom!

Good luck at therapy, I hope it works out well for you.

I'm feeling a bit agitated because they completely stopped the clonazepam. I want to ask for another 10mg zyprexa to ease my mental pain but then they'll say that I'll be too agitated for 108mg of Concerta BUT IT CALMS ME DOWN I HAVE ADHD. Damn it..

Hope you feel better soon Tweaky.


Yay! An unexpected check came in the mail, time for takeout!

hungrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy

sorry i was hungry.

i bought T a birthday card. his bday is next week tuesday. it has a cat on it. (of course)

they just got a psychiatrist from that sniper trial about that guy who shot chris kyle to say he is suffering from schizophrenia

Great, deepen the stigma. :/ them, not you newtus.

yea i know :/
unfortunately.

they keep showing videos of him spouting delusions about how chris kyle was a cannibal and was gonna kill him and other delusions.

but im not so sure because this guy was on weed and other hard drugs the day he killed them. plus already doing them. he does have ptsd. but still.

im startin to think about my therapy again.
idk why my therapist pawned me off on peer support group.
i guess ill try it once.
but im really not happy about all this.

at all.

the worst part is i dont think i can get any better care than im getting either...
not here.
not in north texas.
and prob not in texas in general...idk.

I'm in full psychosis. Everything is false apparently to the doctors etc.. That's why they are increasing the abilify so fast...

Long story short, I phoned 911 on the hospital and when I calmed down with two zyprexa a and my Klonopin back, they will lock me up

The worst part is I still believe it's true.. That they stole my papers and are talking behind my back.. And my accusations are real..

I hate this

I found the papers thank god..but I fear they read them. I'm not writing my thoughts on paper instead of taking a pill ever again

What terrible advice they have me for psychotic OCD my type