Roll Call 49

My friend just left and now I feel lonely and desolate. There's never enough time to just talk. My anxiety is through the roof. If I could cry I would.

Blue_Bird, I begged my friend to go to McDonald's for me (other places too but there wasn't time I guess). I have my coveted food but now my friend has gone home. I don't eat healthy because I can't cook anymore and I'm too depressed to really try. Can't stand up in the kitchen.

@angelique and @bluebird, I've felt the same way all too often. you guys are both really great friends. It's hard to be away from people that you wish were closer.

Have you ever tried 7 cups of tea?

Someone To Talk To, Online Therapy, Free Anonymous Chat - 7 Cups of Tea

I mean if you just want someone to talk to.....

Actually, that might be just the thing. Thanks.

400 dollar phone data bill this month... I want to work in the hospital while I'm here to pay it off. My dad says he will pay but I don't just simply let people pay..

I removed zyprexa from my signature. I'm more stable so I'm able to handle the agitation at this level.

Maybe one day I can stop the AP's completely.. One day.. In 7 years when my brain is said to have finished developing. That's a long *** time and I'll try to enjoy it the best of my abilities on this stuff.

Heeeey Whats up I am doing much better lately work is going great.

I have not been skipping my meds so I feel more stable and I feel better

I'm so glad! Good to hear from you

*trigger kid of*

My mom said that I was almost comatose. All I remember was taking 6 klonopins, waking up, snorting 4 lines of Klonopin and then blackout I don't remember anything.

No wonder I'm here.

Edit: Don't ask. I don't know how I could be that stupid either. I was just frustrated because .5mg didn't help my agitation..

I'm just glad you're still around.....I was worried.....

I'm glad too.

Eminem - Deja Vu

That song explains it too well ..

Clonazepam is not candy...

But id still like some to relax. When the Concerta gets increased, I shouldn't be so agitated and thinking about drugs so much.

im back from PotatoVille. My hands are soft and salty. Tomorrow is going to be a very starchy day.

I'm getting agitated.

My psychiatrist says that being hyper is different from agitation. I don't think it is. That's like saying every kid with ADHD has mania.

PRN ritalin why? Because Nothing is stimulating my mind enough. Simple as that. Bring me skydiving or something then I'll love my agitation because I'll get a thrill out of it.

I'm 18 now and I have to make the proper decisions. Not mess around impulsively when my concerta wears off..

Edit: No one believes me that ritalin calms me that much. I swear 300mg makes me melt in my chair and it's sad that I have to experiment to better my mental health.

Agitation is very unpleasant and uncomfortable. It is hell. I cannot stand it. Being hyper is a pleasant feeling that a person has control over (mostly). There is barely any control with agitation. It just surfaces.

I am so depressed. My IQ has decreased dramatically since I've been on the Abilify. I am not the same. I can barely cry anymore. Everything is awful but I'm unable to do anything to change it. This is hell. Nothing else.

I'm going to see if I can lower my Abilify. If I don't get my Concerta by a small 36mg I'm done with these antipsychotics that are supposed to calm me down.

I can't ****ing focus

I shouldn't be shaking like an old person. I'm 18

I'm not looking forward to school on monday augh, I'll have so much work to do.

I actually lost a bit of weight! I'm so happy cos it means I can lose weight on this depot. Going on a major healthy eating stint nothing stupid just eating healthy foods and skipping lunch.
Went shopping yesterday and bought some nice new clothes

I had lovely healthy porridge and blueberries for breakfast

im at moms house.
shes already making saying crap me this morning. saying "are you addicted to that ecig? you use it all the time. i think its just as bad as regular smoking".

for those of you that dont remember. i asked her about her drinking on the trip when i was at my sisters wedding and she started going at me saying "You need to mind your own business."

so why is my business free to talk about?

shes full of s**t

i wanna go home

I called my pdoc on Friday, she never got back to me. I hate that about here, she never checks her voicemail.