Roll Call 49

ugh. my anxiety is growing again this morning. and im at home.

i hate having to take a xanax in the early morning but i might have to. again.

The nurses here are so stricked. This guy I think *trigger* all over his arms and was in a cast like he did it REALLY bad. They wouldn't give him Tylenol but gave him morphine instead. He didn't want morphine but the nurses had to follow the doctors rules.

My horoscope said to look forwards not backwards so that's what I'm doing. Focussing on making new friends rather than mourning the loss of old friends. It's tempting to look them up on fb but it's just unhelpful. Made a new friend today who's really nice and I see her in a lot of my seminars. So I now have 3 friends irl. I think that's pretty cool it's more than I've had in a long time. I've also got online and text friends who I speak to. In fact I'm meant to be meeting up with one of my text friends again so really I have 4 friends irl. Awesome

i feel like horoscopes say the same thing all the time. they are so vague IMO.

but im glad you are doing well socially JustMe

Wow---I'm honestly not sure that I've ever had 4 friends irl at once before---that's great

Glad your eyes are getting better

What I believe is that a schizotypal-like person made horror scopes (which I could easily make along with this with bssic math and subconscious mind thinking or magical thinking ..).. and most world religions were made by people with OCD. Especially sonce the fact that I had to say Hail Mary every May ten times a day. Makes me so angry that I was brainwashed like that. Then Schizophrenics were witches and the epileptics became prophets..

So many exams today, but the anxiety went down a bit when I actually got to school. One week until spring break....

Sun sign stuff is vague, but you can get much more detailed once you have the whole chart.

"two-thirds of individuals diagnosed with schizophreniform disorder go on to develop schizophrenia"

I believe I'm fine. Like most of my psychosis was when I was 16. Most of it wasn't complete delusions but you can't tell apart OCD from sc..

Ok so this old man won't leave me alone he says he's the Holy Spirit back from the dead and told me about police drinking alcohol and said only god and Jesus is above the law.. I can't argue about religion when someone has such firm believes.

I'll let him be the Holy Spirit while irrational thoughts ruminate in my head about whether it's true or not.

Schizophreniform is the exact same as schizophrenia except that all symptoms stop after six months I think, so it'll probably be "wait and see."

Thanks newtus and sometimesp.
I'm not sure if I believe in horoscopes but it seemed like good advice anyway. A lot of it is common sense which I seem to lack sometimes lol

They both wrote schizotypal (pdoc and psych)

But since new psychiatrist says this Schizophreniform. If it's progressing schizophrenia, then it would be a good idea to up my antipsychotics so fast I think they are overreacting and being too cautious. I think they are and that I'm getting better. I came in here in an ambulance and told them I was fine. Lol there's a snow blizzard outside it's so cool..

I don't remember much of my agitation and psychosis two years ago but idk I think it will be ok to increase my concerta.

I believe ritalin alone would help me not 9 paychiatric medications I'm on now. Or that's just the .. It can't be the addict in me idk

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/25-pe...f-diana-derval

This is interesting about color vision----apparently I am tetrachromat---I saw 34 colors---they are talking about it in the context of the dress that broke the internet----a lot of you guys saw the right colors I'm wondering if there are more tetrachromats on this site than usual....it's only supposed to be 25 %---

do we count how many bars of colors we see?

I've pretty much given up my online life. This is currently the only place I visit. I wish it were for a reason other than paranoia, but it is good to be offline more.

i think i understood the test.
it said i was a tetrachromat.
i saw 38 colors.

i think im going to go back to that support group this thursday. the leader was the one that told everyone about the NAMI commercial. i would have never known otherwise.

right now its not helping me in terms of support for my mental health/illness. ive also only been one time. but i feel like if i dont go i would miss out on some things. they also were talking about other things that i didnt even know about for advocacy that was going on. about the clinic and the county and national stuff.

Schizotypal is basically moderate schizophrenia, for some reason listed as personality disorder in the DSM but most people agree that it isn't. If you were listed as schizotypal before and schizopheniform now it is probably getting worse.

But idk I'm not a psychologist.

Hello guys, I popped to lunch for a bit. Today has been ok. No really frustrating things so far. I did find out we may not be able to stay in our house, but I'm not too worried about that. Things like living in a house or not, don't get to me, but i do worry that I'm wasting my life in this job.

They decreased the abilify to 10mg because apparently my symptoms can become life threatening but I'm sure I'll be fine I better not get paranoid and screw up my treatment.

Also back to 72mg concerta in the morning and not some at noon

Also I'm getting cogentin 2x a day to control the abilify symptoms. Like it says all over the internet to take half the amount of abilify because there's twice as much abilify in the blood stream than without Prozac, especially high dose Prozac.

hey guys. i'm feeling better today. it's a really nice day outside. it's in the 60s! and sunny. i did some of my homework and cleaned my apartment. i used to hate cleaning but now that i like my apartment i want to keep it clean. plus it keeps my mind busy and i feel productive and happy when i finish. now im gonna paint my nails and watch Shark Tank.

hope you guys are ok today. i'm glad i feel better today .

Day 2 of eating healthier. Tonight for dinner we're having asparagus, grilled pork chops, and baked potatoes.

Good thing I don't know of any relative with full blown schizophrenia. Schizotypal, borderline, schizoid, ADHD definitely or I would be freaking out.

I'm feeling quite happy. Like my mood just gets elated every time I'm given cogentin

- Tweaky, experimental guesstimating of the truth