Roll Call 52

They increased the Concerta to 90mg which is what I wanted because I told them that it's either no crash or I'm not taking it anymore.

But my doctor told me to tell my psychiatrist about Ashe?? hshh? Is that disability? I can still go to school and get a job and still be on it. Vyvanse is covered by it along with all my other meds 100% like over 1000 dollars of meds every month.

So I asked my psychiatrist and he said it's no problem and agreed right away. He just has to file 6 pages or more which would take 4-6 months.

So now I'm on Vyvanse 30mg in the morning and 400mg Abilify IM on Tuesday.

Btw, I was told that the guy that i was pushing around CHOSE NOT TO WALK and now he has to be in a wheelchair. I'm not going to talk or push him anymore because he needs to use his muscles or they will deteriorate so I'm doing a favour.

The staff says that the guy always asks for young guys like me to push him around and buy him soda, pie, coffee, sandwiches. I thought he was a friend because he's a good person but I don't want to hurt him because he's very delusional. The staff made sure what I knew was real and it wasn't real.

Klonopin is a miracle worker.

No anxiety today.

I have never been so happy to feel so normal.

also getting tapered off the seroquel, I like it, doesnt make me as tired.

I suck at waiting

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I'm praying for you and your son!

I'm so glad you're feling happy today, that's awesome!

AISH = Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped - Wikipedia ...

well damn..

I'll pay you guys back when I'm a pharmacist giving you meds paid for by the government

i dont know whether one of my history assignments is due today or not. the professor put the wrong due date. but only one person has posted it so far.

i havent had an episode in 1 day but my anxiety has been bad. luckily it hasnt been bad today so far. but morning and night is usually when it spikes.

That was partially the ambien talking, God I shouldn't take those tablets anymore, really lowers my inhibitions.

Thanks for the hugs regardless.

I am positive, positive positive positive!

Well today another repair man came to fix the boiler. Thankfully it's working now. My therapist cancelled on me so I have to wait until next week to see her. That mean I'll be seeing the psychiatrist on Tuesday and the therapist on Wednesday of next week. Wow, next week sure is a busy one.

gonna have to study my butt off tonight

...posted a picture of my cat and me on facebook and a family member said "you need to get something to do"....

well first of all i have a lot to do. quite a bit actually.

screw that person

That wasn't a very nice thing to say at all.

So many things to do school-wise, I can't handle it.

So stressful

No changes to his heart. All is well. Thank you for your thoughts <3

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Second of all, I'd tell her to correct her grammar.

I'm fuming. I've been ****ed over twice by different doctors. The first one had a secretary hand me a blank consent form, telling me to sign it. Thus, releasing all my private info from my psychologist to my psychiatrist. The second time is when another psychologist willy-nilly told a woman that was merely going to give me a memory test. She told her my private affairs that were VERY sensitive to me. Now, all my doctors want to have a pow wow and I told my therapist that I will not sign a consent form. I told my psychiatrist I would but to leave out specifics, regarding the next psychiatrist, but is he really going to leave out specifics? And can he really just use that one consent form for both my therapist and Psychiatrist?

I called the office and told them to throw it away. That my psychiatrist will hash this out in a month from now. He was reluctant on me keeping my private affairs private. Plus, he said he wrote his notes a little too good. Referring that said private affair is all over his paper work.

I don't trust these "professionals". Can you blame me, with my track record? I have one button, if they keep poking the bear I'm going to bite back.

I think I'm having a hypomanic episode again. This anger just can't reside. I can feel it in my chest. I don't understand. Does this mean the Lamictal isn't working at all or just yet? Please don't say I'm going to have a depressive episode. Those are terrible.

thanks guys. yea. i tried to kill it with kindness...that comment....ugh

ody! i got two of the books you recommended.

one of the most peaceful things in the world is reading philosophy while smoking. of course its my ecig so no one worry.

Sorry for going on about this chip alot and sorry if I triggered anyone saying I'd take it out. It's just really taking over my thoughts and I'm really confused about it. I've not been doing well and it's seems worse because I had been doing so well. I really find this place a great support and thank you guys for your hugs and insight. If I'm annoying anyone going on about this stuff please just tell me. Thanks guys.

How are you doing? Have you been able to settle your anger? I would be upset too, given your trust was violated. With any luck, it wasn't that your Lamictal wasn't working, but that you just felt very strongly about the event.

The other day I thought my head would pop off from how angry I was. It was a good thing that nothing in my mind came out of my mouth. It was terribly hard to refrain though.

Hope you're doing ok.

Sorry i hadnt gotten a chance to respond.

but Ody...thats a low thing for a psychiatrist to do. to openly talk about your problems like that with people in the office without your consent. (if i understood that correctly?). i feel like a lot of people put too much trust into their providers and it can lead to different things when stuff like this happens. idk if youre one of those people but just...be careful. im not saying your providers have ulterior motives but i kinda see the mental health system as like when youre getting arrested and they say "anything you do or say can and will be used against you" or something to that sort. it just reminds me of that. like whatever your telling your psychiatrist in private that may not be private anymore - who knows where its going to. sure to your therapist/psychologist but then the way he keeps at it is really concerning.

psychiatrists ive had never truly agreed on most things the last pdoc said but they are more inclined seems like to believe whats been said before them if so presented with that information. idk why but i have my theories as to why.

so i decided to do my philosophy paper on mind/body and the views for it and then explaining my views.