Roll Call 53

i saw my therapist and told her about what happened last night. i actually like her i think. shes open about talking about religion unlike my last therapist i had.

anyway i told her school is a stressor and she said my anxiety is linked to my paranoia which is right.

I hope you feel better

Happy to hear you were able to talk to your therapist!

.....and there goes my healthy eating

I just called my pdoc's office to switch to the NP. I'm a nervous wreck about it but I need someone I can see monthly. I hope I like her.

i hate my NP. bu i have no other choice right now

i have no therapy appt next week which sucks

ive been eating too much fast food

Just put two of my bills on auto pay. What a pain in my ***. Dell computers are unethical asshats. They send me bills AFTER the payment due date, which means an extra $20 bucks. In order to put it on auto pay you need to set aside 20mins for all the hoops you have to go through. The same thing for Comcast cable. I just need to find out a way so that my car payment gets directly taken out too. hmm...

i never put my bills on auto pay. what if i dont have the money?

I live next to a gas station and the junk food is too tempting lol

What if you get a late fee?

It's nap time for my cats, they're so cute. Every afternoon around this time they get in my bed and curl up for a nap

pics!!!!!!!!!!!

My psychiatrist told me more stuff that I said that I don't remember. Things like mind reading, people on tv talking to me and I don't remember much.

I was out of it and said to a prisoner sitting across from me to ask the cop beside him to take off his hand cuffs because it will be more comfortable.

The guy that's always bumming cigarettes and coffee off me wanted to sell me some crack. He said to pay for his taxi so he can go get money from the bank and pay dealers.

I said no because I'm not an idiot lol

Annie is the orange one and the grey one is Kitten

i never get late fees. i mean i always pay my bills on time is what im saying. i dont do auto pay because im on disability (fixed income). i have to spend that money elsewhere besides bills and i may not have that money for them to automatically pull out and i may get an overdraft fee on my banking acct which is worse than a late fee on a bill. on certain bills anyway. but i always pay my bills on time. i put them on my calender to pay. or write them down. or have a reminder on my phone. or something but i never do autopay. if i did autopay i would be in so much debt. some bills allow a certain amount of time in which in you have to get a bill in past the deadline.

Mine do the same thing. Hehehehe. One is sleeping on my bed right now, the other two elsewhere.

My memory is so bad. I struggle to remember things day to day. I have even forgotten really important things. I hate this. I just want to go to sleep and wake up "normal".

You're more responsible than me! I go to work, come home, get the mail, sit down and it hits me like a brick wall. Depression and panic symptoms arise. I no longer am able to do anything but act like a vegetable. During these times I stay away from triggers like my bills. It's best for me personally to have them on auto bill. That way I don't feel uncomfortable when the time is near.

Plus those assholes at Dell sending me past due bills. $20 extra a month is me having good memories with a friend one night! Sneaky bastards. Oh well, at least I was able to find a nice laptop to write with.

Those first few moments when you wake up and everything seems alright. I know that feeling all to well. Am I the only one that gets them?

watching documentary "Fed Up"

I just watched that last weekend---I'm not sure if they are any more right than the other people are though---weight is so complex...

I have those too.

yes weight is complex. a factor of many things. in my opinion. but i do agree about sugar and added sugar. have you seen Food Inc? I liked that one as well. the food industry is so messed up. ive been eating healthier since the beginning of this year...part of my low tyrosine and phenylalynine diet, but also to eat less sugar.. stop drinking soda... eat more fruits and veggies. ..less gluten and dairy.