Roll Call 53

ive been taking 5mg against my (now) NPs order (previous psychiatrists). and im doing good. just gaining weight.

part of the problem is ive been drinking sodas again and eating chips and junk and crap. i need to stop that.

That moment when you want to call out an idiot on FaceBook but don't because it's not even worth your time

my sister just texted me a sweet text telling me she loves me and knows its a hard time for us right now. bc of my dads death anniversary. i thought that was nice.

A guy said that he would pay me back for all the coffees and smokes.

I gave him 200 dollars 3 times while he said he would get money from the bank. Last time I gave 200 was when he chipped in 50 and he came back with 60 dollars and got ripped off he said.

I got screwed over because I wasn't focusing on getting better now I have to explain all the transactions from the bank machine.

I have no money left and probably have another 600 dollar phone bill.

I'm so upset with myself. I smoked a LOOOT of it. I can't get high from it probably at lethal doses or without meds but he could.

My parents especially my mom will be disappointed in me and if she cries, I will too. I wouldn't be able to take it and right now it brings tears to my eyes.

I deserve this. Don't tell me I don't because you know yourself.

I went to bed two hours ago why am I awake?

I hope you're sleeping now. It's almost 3 am and I don't feel like I can sleep yet.

Morning!
Hope you got some sleep SP and Angelique
Wishing everyone a symptom free day

Good morning folks, hope yall are having a lovely morning so far.

morning everyone.
i got to sleep in an hour later today because my morning is free. so im happy. still tired tho.

I feel better this morning but I'm really down. I just don't see the point in trying so hard anymore. I don't have the motivation.

Crack is a dark road. All I wanted to do was see what it's like - just that. Like I don't see how people can be addicted to this. I just felt more focused..

6 cigarettes left. They will be my last as well.

Morning everyone.

busy day at school today

I apologize, Newtus. I was a prick because yesterday my symptoms were roaring. I tend to take a rather cynical turn the worse it gets. Sorry.

Hello! Just got home from shopping. Picked up some Siracha sauce since it's so popular and I've never tried it, and it's really good. Got some hair dye, going to dye my hair black with blonde highlights, not sure when though.

My anxiety is through the roof. Ativan isn't helping. Blah. Going to try to sleep it away.

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Weird that it makes you gain weight. That sucks, I'm sorry. I haven't gained at all from it and I've been taking it for awhile now...

Holy **** that's a lot. That would be overkill for me too, I take 10mg.

Haha, I've actually had the opposite experience. Every psych nurse I've had has been horrible. Granted, I've had some incompetent psychiatrists too but I adore the one I have now. She's great.

When I see that on FB I usually just write a blatantly sarcastic comment, and 99% of the time the person involved doesn't get it. So I got to say my piece and they are too stupid to realize I am laughing at them, win win! Lol I'm so bad.

That's been the story of my life lately, I don't know why. I think I may be getting mild akathisia from the Haldol, that's one theory but other than that I've got nothing...

I have had teh coffeh so I am ready to go, hahahahah!

I'm doing well, stable for the most part though according to people close to me I still have symptoms but they aren't so bad on the meds.

I've lost another ten pounds in the past 6 weeks. Only 11 more to go and I'll be back at my ideal weight! I'm excited about that, I feel so much better physically. I have arthritis so it helps to not have the extra pressure of my weight on my lower joints. I don't care about what I look like as far as weight goes, what I care about is how I feel in my body and whether or not I'm being healthy.

My cat is crawling all over me, lol. He's so cute.

Congrats on the weight loss Atypical!

The worst psychiatrist I had was one while I was inpatient when I was 15 after a suicide attempt, I was there for 28 days and the pdoc just stared at me and wrote **** down then tried to get me placed into a year long residential facility and claimed that because my mom couldn't get there for the meetings (I was somewhere over an hour away in another state) she must not have cared about me at all and that's what he told the social workers. Luckily the staff members knew and could tell I was doing a hundred times better and understood that my mom is disabled and doesn't have a car and there's no public transportation here and that she does care about me and is an amazing mom.

Thank you so much! I've been working hard.

And wow, that psychiatrist sounds absolutely terrible. I'm sorry you went through that.

There should be a "Dislike" button

Took a nap and I'm feeling better

Feeling better now because the Vyvanse kicked in.

I don't know how to think because of this damn pre psychosis disorganized or whatever the hell.

I don't know what's happening. I just gave out hundreds of dollars because I was not feeling too great.

I just want to be out of this hell.

I can't get over the guy that said I ****** up my life and will never get better.

I know methylphenidate didn't contribute to this because I went psychotic before that..