Safe Place

How long until you can take a seroquel and sleep? For me they tell me to really watch my sleep because it can be destabilizing to go without like for mania. Also what ever happened to your depakote dose weren't you taking extra at one point?

I always take seroquel right before I am about to sleep, I fall asleep in less than 15 minutes with it I think. I can't sleep without it. The extra dose sometimes helps and sometimes doesn't. My dose is 1000mg (at night) but when I take extra, I take 1500mg.

Wait that's your dose of depakote or seroquel? It seems too high for either....

depakote is supposed to be 1000mg and seroquel is 200mg.

wrong thread sorry

Ok thanks...I was confused because of depakote ER which has a much lower dose, but what I was wondering was whether you let your doc know you were sometimes taking extra....it might be better to raise the dose a little instead of randomly taking more....just a thought.....

Yes I am taking the depakote ER, I forgot to add the ER, forgot that there's two types of depakote. Thanks a lot SP. I will talk to my pdoc about it today

I'm schizoaffective bipolar type but I don't like the bp section. Too many people and the sza section is pretty slow. I like it here.
Like SP said. It may not be much but you have us to talk to . I hope you feel better soon

Thank you so much valley

Thank you for the hugs and replies guys, I really do appreciate it. This whole situation is so confusing and frustrating to me, and it is helpful to be able to vent some of it here

Thank you Sometimes. I don't think I have anything anymore. Uni pdoc said I had sza before, but then multiple home pdocs said I was making it all up and probably had BPD, which is complete nonsense, and everyone in uni town agrees. But now uni pdoc says sz and hospital pdoc agrees (though I don't know how much is going along with uni pdoc), and it's complete nonsense.

I keep telling them that I'm fine, or I would be if they left me alone. I haven't been depressed since the summer, even though they keep saying in the hospital that my mood seems low. I told them that my expressions just don't seem to work properly, like it doesn't show on the outside very much or at all, and sometimes I even keep laughing like an idiot at serious stuff, which is very weird, but inside I feel totally normal. My uni pdoc agrees I'm not depressed though. He's the only one who listens to me (even though we disagree about the sz), and he's seen me in so many guises of depression over the last 8 years of knowing him, so I agree with him about that. The others just keep assuming that I'm lying about everything.

Thank you Justme. It just feels like no one listens properly to me. When I said something was wrong, I got labelled as attention seeking and borderline. Now everything is fine, they say I have sz. Which doesn't make any sense considering my history of significant mood symptoms in the past, but uni pdoc says it was always atypical and has now decided was part of the sz, which I don't understand at all. I know they make these categories up, but still...

And they are still accusing me of lying now; about what I eat and drink, about not being depressed, about not hearing voices, about saying I was suicidal when I never, about saying I don't have a baby (the last 2, they got me confused with another lady, yet had to ask my mum before they would finally believe that I've never had a baby or said the sui stuff). So either way, lying as BPD or sz, MH services suck!

Also I was officially discharged from my section today cos the pdoc refused to do it yesterday cos he's still sulking that I beat him at the tribunal. But the ward are still trying to screw with me! They rang today to get me to come in tomorrow to see the pdoc for a review, but I said that he wasn't my pdoc any more, and so they tried to make out that, though my section was discharged today, I'm still officially an informal patient on leave from the ward and need to have a review tomorrow. Which I told her is completely illegal because I never agreed to be an informal patient, and the tribunal has legally discharged me now. They are just trying to trick me into getting more evidence for a section 3, but I refused. I'm seeing my usual pdoc again on Friday anyway, so it's pointless to see the hospital pdoc the day before given we just go around and around in circles. I just wish they would leave me alone!

*Willow*

12pm - have you tried pacing? I find it very beneficial. When you feel 'up' start pacing and just keep going, even when you start to feel 'down', until you can pass out for a rest. The exertion will burn off some of the 'up' energy, whilst the exercise will release endorphins to lift the 'down'. Gradually you should start to feel calmer inside. Pacing was the only thing keeping me sane in that god-awful hospital, though I feel agitated not 'up'.

All the best,

*Willow*

Sorry you're going through this Willow.

I'll try this, willow. Thank you for answering I am sorry for what you are going through right now

My friend is really mad at me. He doesn't believe me about what's been going on here. I'm really upset but the Abilify won't let me cry.

So first I doubt he is mad at you he may just be frustrated?

Second when my irl friends tell me something I tend to put their opinions over my own...I don't know why your abilfy isn't working but it seems like your psychosis is getting worse....I would ask the pdoc about trying a new med....

I've been thinking about that. I'm afraid to withdraw from the Abilify plus I don't want the weight gain of different meds. I don't think this is psychosis. I mean my neighbors go outside and shout my name, and tell people about my private habits. Maybe not at the same time, just an example. Plus, they did do the pounding and stamping. I have some of it recorded. And they did hack my phones.

Sorry if you think I'm psychotic for the things they did.

Haldol is really strong and considered as weight neutral as abilify but there are also Latuda and geodon that are stronger than abilify and weight neutral.

Also is the torture you're putting up with worth a little weight? I always remember my psychosis and even though I've gained some weight on abilify I think it's worth it to be on it.

The problem is I think they didn't do most of those things...sure maybe they did some pounding or stamping but I don't know how they would hack your phones or tell people about your private habits.

I think if there is even a tiny chance this is psychosis you owe it to yourself to try a new med. think of the relief you got from the voice the first time.

I'm not so sure now that the voice was a hallucination. I know you consider that to be a delusion but the neighbors have a way to sound pretty loud in here. It's just too much of a coincidence that the voice stopped the very day I made my first posts here, especially after having been on Abilify a little over three months. That just doesn't add up to me. The janitor hates me and could easily have set it up to make noises when I was trying to sleep.

I'm really tired. I don't know if my insurance covers Latuda. I don't think I'd want to take haldol because I had such hell on Stelazine and mellaril.

Just something to think about as an alternative to living in torture....obviously you know your own situation better than anyone else but geodon is available as a generic, stronger than abilify and weight neutral....

They're doing a trick right now. I just heard him on the phone (apparently), trying to commit me. They do this one every day. He'll pretend to show them my posts, and it will sound as if I'm really going to be committed and then I'm afraid for however long the trick lasts.

Oh and by the way, there is zero contact between them and me. I wouldn't go near them with a ten foot pole, no talking to them, nothing. So I'm hardly trying to do anything to them. All I want is to get away from them.

Yes, thank you. I am grateful for your replies. I tried Geodon and broke out in hives, so I can't do that one.

My friend left without saying anything. I wish so much I could cry. I have a horrible agitated dysphoria. I'm so miserable I don't know what to do.

Latuda was a really good med for me. I lost weight while on it. It's one to think about if your insurance covers it. I'm on haldol too and don't have any complaints.

I'm so sorry.