Roll Call 61

junkDNA · Sep 05, 2015, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Do you really think there's no other alternatives? You are far too valuable to the world, even if you don't see that, to take yourself out of it.

i dont feel like i have an alternative. i dont know if should say much more cause im emotional right now . im sorry

Angelique67 · Sep 05, 2015, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

i dont feel like i have an alternative. i dont know if should say much more cause im emotional right now . im sorry

Well don't do anything about it. I hope you'll talk more about this to your T. I just wish I could be more help. I care about you and I hate to see you so down.

newtus · Sep 05, 2015, 06:12 PM

please dont junkdna. you ARE too valuable to do that. theres so many people that care about you. really it is. truly thats a fact. i hate seeing you go through this.

Sep 05, 2015, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Possible trigger:

im gonna tell you guys something. ive kinda been seriously thinking about ending my life in the near future. ive been thinking about this for about 2 weeks now. i told my T about my struggles right now mainly with money and my future. i feel that i have to kill myself before i become too poor to live on my own. i cant rely on my mom anymore, she wants to retire and live peacefully. im afraid i am going to lose my disability because i dont feel that i qualify for it anymore. i dont think my T knows how much i have thought about this. we talked about it today and he tried to reassure me and help me set plans and stuff but i just wanted to leave. im not saying im going to kill myself right now or in the immediate future. so i dont want people to worry. anyway.. thats what im dealing with.

I'm sorry you feel that way Junk, I wish there was something I could do to help but just know I hear ya and am thinking of you and wishing you the best!

Blue_Bird · Sep 06, 2015, 07:19 AM

Anyone cooking out today? We are, burgers, hot dogs, and pasta salad

junkDNA · Sep 06, 2015, 07:43 AM

hey guys feeling a little better this morning

Loial · Sep 06, 2015, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

hey guys feeling a little better this morning

I'm glad to hear that!

junkDNA · Sep 06, 2015, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Anyone cooking out today? We are, burgers, hot dogs, and pasta salad

nope... ill be working today and tomorrow

junkDNA · Sep 06, 2015, 09:37 AM

day/night

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 06, 2015, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

day/night

Wow that's a lot......

junkDNA · Sep 06, 2015, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Wow that's a lot......

3 of them are non psych meds... but ya it is a lot... -_-

junkDNA · Sep 06, 2015, 10:59 AM

i bailed on my friends plans last night. i laid in bed and cried til i fell asleep. how pathetic...

so i am going to see her today before i work. we are going to get sushi. she told me she would pay for me so i am glad. shes moving or has moved already into a new apartment so i hope i get to see it. it will be busy at work bc of a short sale/labor day. so i should be keeping my mind busy. i colored this morning in a book i got from the store i work at. when im done with the picture ill share it here

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 06, 2015, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

i bailed on my friends plans last night. i laid in bed and cried til i fell asleep. how pathetic...

so i am going to see her today before i work. we are going to get sushi. she told me she would pay for me so i am glad. shes moving or has moved already into a new apartment so i hope i get to see it. it will be busy at work bc of a short sale/labor day. so i should be keeping my mind busy. i colored this morning in a book i got from the store i work at. when im done with the picture ill share it here

Sorry for the first part but the sushi sounds cool and so does the coloring.....

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 12:40 PM

My friend should be here but he's not yet. He didn't say he wouldn't be coming so I just have to wait and try not to be nervous and afraid. My autocorrect keeps capitalizing words and it's annoying. I'm very scared.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 06, 2015, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

My friend should be here but he's not yet. He didn't say he wouldn't be coming so I just have to wait and try not to be nervous and afraid. My autocorrect keeps capitalizing words and it's annoying. I'm very scared.

Is this the big clean up day?

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Is this the big clean up day?

I guess not. I don't think it will ever get done now. I'm so anxious. I wish I could go outside but my back is so bad. I feel hopeless.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 06, 2015, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I guess not. I don't think it will ever get done now. I'm so anxious. I wish I could go outside but my back is so bad. I feel hopeless.

I'm sorry.....

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm sorry.....

Thank you. I would cry but Abilify never lets me anymore.

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Thank you. I would cry but Abilify never lets me anymore.

And that's another problem. My refill didn't go through last week and now I don't know if I'm getting my Abilify or anything else. I only have two days left. I hate this new change by that lousy clinic.

Sep 06, 2015, 04:12 PM

Just ordered me some LSD! No link found between psychedelics and psychosis : Nature News & Comment

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 06, 2015, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Just ordered me some LSD! No link found between psychedelics and psychosis : Nature News & Comment

I'm just going to throw this out here but why pick a drug that mimics psychosis?

Sep 06, 2015, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm just going to throw this out here but why pick a drug that mimics psychosis?

I'm going to microdose, I have no one to take it with and am too scared to take a full blotter on my own for the first time. Either way it's supposed to be an amazing experience but I wouldn't say it mimics psychosis. How do you think it mimics psychosis? I don't even think people with psychosis experience visuals on par with LSD visuals.

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

I'm going to microdose, I have no one to take it with and am too scared to take a full blotter on my own for the first time. Either way it's supposed to be an amazing experience but I wouldn't say it mimics psychosis. How do you think it mimics psychosis? I don't even think people with psychosis experience visuals on par with LSD visuals.

When I took it in high school it left me with panic for the rest of my life. I never noticed my anxiety before I took it. After I took it a few times, I have never been able to escape my anxiety (except with benzos).

Sep 06, 2015, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

When I took it in high school it left me with panic for the rest of my life. I never noticed my anxiety before I took it. After I took it a few times, I have never been able to escape my anxiety (except with benzos).

There's really no evidence from significant studies to prove that's what caused your anxiety. Do you think rebound effects from serious benzo intake could have caused your anxiety? I'm not dissing your experience, it could have genuinely caused your mind to change but there's simply no evidence that it did.

Angelique67 · Sep 06, 2015, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

There's really no evidence from significant studies to prove that's what caused your anxiety. Do you think rebound effects from serious benzo intake could have caused your anxiety? I'm not dissing your experience, it could have genuinely caused your mind to change but there's simply no evidence that it did.

I never took benzos before the Acid. It was several years later that I got started on benzos.

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