Roll Call 61

hello...

work was pretty busy and some people were being really mean. one lady in particular was very rude to me. i felt bad at first but then i was like... whatever. she wanted me to give her the real latex balloons for free because her daughter didnt want the actual free ones that say the store name on them. i said theyre 1.20$ each and she made this FACE omg . like come on. im just doing my job, lady

Wow, that's kind of harsh. I mean really, don't shoot the messenger! As you said, you're just doing your job.

for real,... i didnt make up the prices!!! also, i man the self checkout center. this lady looked rly pissed at the machine so i went over there to help her and she was like WHY DO THESE THINGS TALK TO YOU LIKE YOURE DUMB? ITS INSULTING. i just said i dont know.

posted a video:

Chickenfoot: Why do you want to try something that could make your symptoms worse? I'm just curious because I really don't understand. You were diagnosed with drug induced psychosis, right? And you were just on about tapering off your AP, yet now you're intending to take drugs again?? For me, had I ever taken drugs, I know that I would definitely be wondering if my difficulties would've been reduced had I NOT taken drugs? I guess I'm just confused...

I will admit that I've never taken recreational drugs and so I genuinely don't understand the appeal - is it boredom? Isn't there anything else you could do if you're bored? Hobbies? Volunteer work? A part-time job?

Are you not concerned that it would make things worse? I know you've been researching, but there are never any guarantees with any drug, recreational or otherwise. My uncle died accidentally OD'ing on the same amount of heroin & alcohol & benzos he took every day. You hear of people taking ecstasy all the time and their friend tries it once and dies. There's many stories like that.

I don't think it's a good idea, but if you're really going to do it anyway, definitely ensure there is someone around to call for help if you need it. And I think you should also be charting your drug taking with your symptoms because, from reading your posts, I definitely think there is a correlation between your drug use and an increase in symptoms.

Stay safe.

*Willow*

Not a good day. My nose is running amok with terrible smells.
Even a shower doesn't help. Heard a woman's voice wake me out of deep sleep.
"See what I mean" she said. Well no I don't.
Maybe when the heat goes I'll have it together.
Oppression selection sure cation complextion vacation

Did I mention my ears are plugging up on me and then pop pop they open again.
And the ringing is driving me to distraction. I'm wondering if it's mess or I'm nuts again.
Pissed off LOTS having to deal with all a this. Dish knish Gish pisssssss

I take drugs primarily out of boredom, curiosity, the intense euphoria and empathy that the likes of MDMA provides. I can be so mindful when I'm on MDMA, I listen to the music, stay in the present, appreciate everything around me, it's fantastic. I can be mindful without drugs but there's something about MDMA that gets me. I haven't done it in a long time, not since before Christmas I don't think. I've never done LSD.

This is going to be a face palm moment for a lot of people here so hang on to your seats!

I want to go off my AP so I can feel the full effects of MDMA and LSD. There you go, I know that's a bit ridiculous but I just want to get high, not abuse drugs, I've never done that but to use them recreationally, a couple of times a year would be nice. I don't really see anything bad coming of that really,
yeah it's arguable that my psychosis was drug induced but I've had symptoms while off drugs and have had no symptoms after some drugs. I mean my psychiatrist was so concerned I'd come back from amsterdam psychotic, he said he could almost guarantee a psychotic episode if I went over and smoked a lot of weed. Well I'm back about two weeks and am doing just fine.

I appreciate your concern and I'll be sure to stay safe!

feelin tired and a little paranoid

Chickenfoot: Well, one could argue that wanting to stop your AP and take illegal drugs is evidence that you're not "doing just fine", but only those IRL around you would know for sure.

I guess I'm just wondering what you could do to improve your life so that you didn't have to 'escape' it through drug use...?

Nobody starts using drugs intending to become an addict, so it's about working to ensure your life and relationships are stimulating and supportive enough that there's nothing to escape from. Otherwise it becomes a slippery slope that is harder to come back from the further one falls.

I hope that you can find what you're looking for IRL, not some fake euphoria 'mindfulness' drug experience. It sounds a bit like mania to me - after the intensity of mania, every thing else is mundane, but mania is not sustainable as the human mind and body cannot maintain that level of energy/intensity for prolonged periods, and hedonism frequently hurts the ones around you.

We will be here though; whatever you decide to do.

*Willow*

i felt so good today!

no headaches. no nausea. extremely little anxiety. it was practically nonexistant.

idk how long this will last or what this is from but i feel great!

i wonder if its from stopping that topamax. my med for migraines. aka dopamax. what junkdna said.

Sophie's world opens minds. I just with there was a guy version. It's going to be a bit heavier with plenty of quotes. I actually reread the Aristotle section to see how he dealt with Aristotle, giving me the idea of having more segments in between that correspond to the dialogue. I already did that here and there but I should make give it more softness instead of all hard parts. After the climax shirt gets heavy and hot!

id love to read your book ody. how is it going overall? any parts you can lend to read?

Of course! However, id need you to give me an email address. The sections are too long.

i PMed you

Could it be the haldol dose change settling in?

Been awake since 3:30
Gona be long day hey yey

God you seem to know me very well didgee, where are you getting any of this from? When do I complain about my life on here? How do you know anything about my life? I'm very lucky to be in the position I'm in, a better position than most on here and am very high functioning so don't tell me "I want to be psychotic to escape life" how dare you? Do you even know what psychosis is like? Why would anyone want that or are you projecting your own feeling outward.

ermm...

going to see T this morning. i feel a little nervous

Good morning junk, your T has always given me the impression that he's really understanding. I know he really cares about your wellbeing, and will want to listen. You're really important to all of us, so I hope your time with him will be helpful with how you've been feeling recently.

Injection today. Back from rocky mountains. It was so awesome to see a lot of my family!





Now school..

Didgee? Was it you that told the admins that I had a second unmoderated account? If so, what were you trying to accomplish?

I'm not the one to care enough flicking the lights to let other drivers know there's a cop.

No one is more obsessed about drugs than Tweaky xP

I find drugs to explore and find meanings in a spiritual sense and to have first hand information because we all react differently. Unique.

DMT and an MAOI (Most psychedelic drug) is legal in South America for religious freedom.

I talk about it here cuz most are on meds. I'm good at biology and chemistry. Yes I should be dead many times over but ya curiosity killed the cat.

If it didn't, I'll use psychosis to get me 9 more lives.

Exploring a controlled psychosis is ok out of boredom or what ever. I'm just becoming interested in almost everything and crave knowledge which is apart of the reasons that I quit two of my jobs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

cant be that quick. this has never happened on haldol before. im wondering if it cause i stopped my topamax. i dont feel lethargic as much. anxiety lessened. its supposed to help migraines but had loads of side effects.

morning.

i feel really good today. it actually kinda scares me. seriously.

i still havent gotten my period...

i have paranoia a bit but i have no physical symptoms going on. which is usually what i have going on lately like the lethargy and nausea and headache.

My moms bf had an ear infection not too long ago. He's a body builder and heavy duty mechanic. He stayed in bed for a week and his ear was bleeding and then the medication fought it. It's supposed to be one of the worst pains. Happened when he was in Mexico and was in bed for 3 days on a one week holiday.

I hate waking up late because then I feel like I wasted half the day and I don't get as much done...

@Hypergitate:

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