Roll Call 62

I understand, I do be the same and I rarely stay more than a few days unless I'm sectioned because of those same reasons. I hope you can get through these next few days

its bad where i am.
people coming down from meth rooming with you. strict staff thatll pin you down and give you a shot for no reason. homeless people coming and going. psychiatrists who dont give an eff about you - just care about the paycheck.

ive been strapped to a bed before and locked in a room before.

i went driving to see my dad today and my anxiety was pretty bad driving. ugh it was so bad. it was borderline panic attack.

i dont wanna drive.
how am i gonna drive to this college. i cant. and i cant live there cuz not enough money. and paranoia. im screwed with getting a bachelors degree.

That's messed up. They have drug users and homeless people where I am but they never stay more than a night. Which is good. There was actually this rough young one in one night, she was only there for the night because there was nothing wrong with her she was just a scumbag and then I seen her on an Irish women's prison program on TV which was pretty funny. But being strapped to a bed is just wrong, they don't use physical restraint here in 99% of hospitals. Only in the central mental hospital and with older people who might hurt themselves. I've been locked in a padded cell before in a suicide proof gown and it was traumatic but being strapped to a bed and left there is just... I can't imagine what that's like!

I've been getting depressed lately over how my life is going nowhere and how lonely and isolated I've been. I decided to start going to group every week and also another group each week, both at the same place but they do different things. hopefully that helps

yea ive been locked in a stone walled cell before. never padded. many times.

the strapped to a bed was when i ran out of th ward and toward the front door. i escaped the locking doors. when a staff member came through the door i ran out.

oh man. what it was like being in those traumatic places and being shocked back to normality with those medications. its a shock to the brain. because haldol and stuff like that. heavy duty stuff. now im on haldol everyday.

yea the drug users stay with you in the same room. its scary. sorry but its scary to stay with people who are coming down from psychosis from drugs. you dont know what theyll do.

i saw a woman punching the glass on the door once and someone else i saw peeing inside. i mean seriously. i have so many stories.

idk how you feel personally but i know what loneliness and isolation brings to the table and its very hard. i understand that.

I hope so, blue bird.

I think your therapist would be proud.....it's great that you're trying to nip this depression in the bud with postive activities....

Thanks guys

I have nothing against drug users per se, it's the addicts and the type usually associated with such that get me. It is scary being in with those people, as you say, they're unpredictable and I believe (with my limited knowledge so correct me if I'm wrong) that it's a completely different type of psychosis.

It's scary being in those places full stop really. When I was a teenager I was sectioned but my parents had a certain amount of control. I remember the first time I was sectioned as an adult and I rand my parents begging them to make them let me go and there was nothing they could do. Your freedom is just taken from you for as long as they see fit, end of.

They do differentiate it but it's a similar experience to my understanding the main difference is people with psychosis alone are non violent but there is an increase in violence with both drug use and psychosis combined.

That's really interesting, thanks. I wonder would there be a higher level of agitation, withdrawal and personality problems that would coincide with drug induced psychosis so that could add to it.

I'm not sure if it's been studied....

thats what im talking about. it is about drug users AND addicts. they could do it once and be violent and unpredictable. you dont know.

not trying to offend anyone but its true. because its different with everyone. you dont know how someone will react to a drug the first time they take it or the 5th or 10th or so on.

take it from me. i smoked weed many times. it worsened my anxiety and psychosis i already had going on. it confused me. made me dumb.

I can't find the exact article but here is one that finds most but not all is based on substance abuse....I belive there is a more recent one I can't find however....

PLOS Medicine: Schizophrenia and Violence: Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis

I'm fine as frog hair. Hope everyone has a lovely night!

funny games is a seriously messed up movie. dont know if youll like it or not. get the american version with tim roth. the german version is the exact same movie just diff language/actors

worked tonight.

this man asked me if i wanna go back to his house to eat the ritz crackers he was buying. i wasnt even in the store i work in i was in the dollar general next door. i dont know whats going on but people just come up to me and say the weirdest things. and i dont know how to react to them. maybe its because i work in customer service.. people will just tell me things about ANYTHING!!!

I wish the anxiety would go away. I have to concentrate really hard when I'm trying to make it stop but the minute my mind wanders I'm right back in it. I wish I had some food here.

And I'm tired of never knowing what to say. It's as if my mind is just empty and erased of everything I ever knew. It's just awful.

Good morning and how's everyone doing. Up so early again today.
Wish M.I.,would take a hike. Hope all has a very plesant day.

Can't sleep tonight.
And it really pisses me off because I'm so tired

med advice is tricky. But i do think you should seriously relook at your meds. it seems to me that your so fixed on haldol that its blinding you to the seeming fact that you can only tolerate a certain amount of haldol , and that amount is not sufficient enough to help you do the things you want to do. must this go on forever? if you can not tolerate enough haldol to sufficiently improve your symptoms , then why oh why do you persist with it.

You should seriously look again at the atypicals , I know your weight is important to you , so that scratches , clozapine & olanzapine, personally I wouldn't use abilify or risperidone , so why not give all the others a chance ,again.....

Good morning! Hope you have a good day!