Roll Call 62

I think constantly that people are talking behind my back. They're laughing at me. Even when I'm not delusion I just... Know they're talking about me.

Something knew though. The people on the other side of the mirror are back. They haven't taken my reflection yet but they switched my nose. Why would they do that? I don't understand what they're trying to accomplish my changing my nose.

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You're doing stellar but you still get sick from time to time and normally that would be enough I think to keep disability. I don't think you'll lose it.

thanks... my T said he doesnt think ill lose it either.

its just a big fear of mine.

Mine too, I'm also scared of losing my disability. I don't have a pdoc anymore who knows me.

this is how i feel...

I don't think they check for me because schizophrenia is a life long illness.

Good morning!

Saw this video of the pharmaceutical Industry in India and how they fight the drug companies making me too drugs. They require a new drug to be truly novel in order to get a patent but if not they'll just start making it generic. We should do that here.....

Morning everyone! Waiting to see T. I can't wait to get home to take a nap lol. Lazy, party of 1 FTW!

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Newtus! Will you be getting Fallout 4? I really can't wait for it!

i slept too much now my brain feels dead

I made an appointment at the clinic. I hope I have enough meds to last until then.

I know how you feel, or at least used to... I always found that oversleeping just made me feel groggy all morning.

These days that's never an issue as I'm always waking up early. I couldn't sleep in even if I wanted to!

I get like that when I sleep too much. Nowadays I'm only getting 3-4 hours but I don't feel like I need anymore. It's a pretty awesome shift from the way I used to be, which is funny because my depot has been increased so I thought I'd be sleeping more.

How is everyone today?

Really nice day here, just listening to some Radiohead getting all nostalgic about the early 2000's

I've been praticing and studying my french
Soon I will remember enough to be able to write full sentences and hold a small talk conversation.

im thinking about it. i want forza 6.

morning.

im sick as a dog. the cold is getting worse. my nose is congested. my chest hurts and sore throat. im coughing and sneezing. this sucks. i dont feel good...

ole! ole ole ole! papa francesco!

I felt physically and mentally uncomfortable. Maybe it's akathesia because I tried not to take any Cogentin today which was the morning dose that was left. So I took 5mg. Maybe a cigarette would have helped idk.

Too tired so I took the Concerta early. I'll be ok which is 15mg 3x a day. But it means that I'll crash so at that time I'll just sleep.

I have to sign some papers. I'm not signing any more papers that gives my mother power over me.

800 a month because she's renting a room, 1k from my dad and 1k from me. I think it's greedy. I said that I would give her money for my expenses in the hundreds but a thousand she said after I signed what ever. I forget. I didn't look at what I was signing because I trusted her.

im so drained physically. i feel like complete crap.

feel like cleaning . rainy day here.

Now im quite a bit better.

I'm toast without a stimulant. I seriously was going to sleep on the floor at my moms work like I always did before in class.. I kept closing my eyes in the middle of typing, Doesn't contribute to psychosis. But caffeine does. I want it to last longer. There was a loss of hope.

Why?: When I'm not on a stimulant, I believe that the Concerta could not possibly make such a dramatic change and I will stay like that forever. It's horrible. I'm showing this post to my psychiatrist. I don't have to go through this. All they need to do is allow me to take 3 or even 2.5 and not 2. They are afraid that I'll get psychosis.

As I said, when I'm better, I really am. Taking my meds prescribed, no plans on stopping them except the caffeine (which gives me the tremors but they don't believe me whatever). I don't want to have a heart attack. I only take them because they mix well with Concerta and I'm young. Not 80

I texted my dad and said some weird things when I was stressed about my mom controlling me and he has connections with god and I don't even believe in god. He sent it to my mom to help me but she sent it to my psychologist.

With or without Concerta, I will still get stressed and think irrationally in delusional paranoid ways from time to time.

I really believe that there will be much much better treatment starting where I live. The Muslims won't be a problem where I live. There's propaganda as fake news, they want attention I don't know it's messed up but it will be very cold here.

The oil sands production in my Provence is what fuels the economy here. That's why I get good treatment. They increased disability by 400 dollars in 2011. I'm so thankful of where I live. They're all rednecks but they're rich and better educated.

Pension for the elderly is 500 dollars. If you're a refugee, you get 2200 a month and 800 more if you have a child. I would rather die than to convert to Islam. If I become a minority in my own country, I'll be the terrorist.

I would love to be a politician. I love using my math skills for something that is useful instead of just yknow some human calculater. Money, people, culture, languages and traveling the world are a dream for me.

If my mom thinks I'm delusional, I'm going to figure it out. I will never believe what someone else believes when I'm insulted like that.

If it wasn't for Concerta, I wouldn't have typed this at all. I don't know why people complain about psychoactive stimulants. I don't know why people just mind their own business.

I'm going to write quite a bit and present it to my mom in my logic and proof that I'm very sane, doing well and that I'm right about me. I'm medicated and If my psychologist agrees with her that it can't drive incase I do something bad, I did it before and I'll do it again. Drivers lisence or not.

We've got it preordered so I'll let you know if it's worth it when I play it. Forza looks amazing, I played Froza 5, we got it with the Xbox and it was a beautiful game to play, this one is going to be awesome.

Looking forward to tomorrow; pizza for dinner! lol

Coming up to 9pm on Friday which can only mean one thing...