Roll Call 63...

whats everyone up to this afternoon? or maybe night for our british friends.

Watching a news program and thinking of going to sleep now. I shouldn't go to sleep so early but I feel wiped out. What are you up to?

Stressing out waiting for my psychologist to call. He calls every week and then in person with the injection.

so everyone was freaking out at work today because some big shot high up in the company was coming to the store. i got nervous. the bookkeeper told me he talks to every employee. i did NOT want him to talk to me. so ya i felt scared. they came at 2pm, right when i got sent on break! when i got back they were gone. wow that worked out awesome i didnt even have to see them.

i put this flea med on toby and it doesnt ****ing work. am i not doing it right? its really making me mad, its not even my fault that he has fleas, its that stupid ***** upstairs. now my cat is suffering and i dont know what to do.

*Knock knock*
Who's there?

Hi. May I come in? I'm a medicine cabinet inspector for the elderly.

- Tweaky

Feeling great after the reassurance from my psychologist that I'm not so symptomatic. My life is coming back and I'm making Ze progresses!

to those struggling.

I'm happy that we are so strong minded and help each other out.

For the cats, my mom just puts a liquid form on their neck and it kills fleas by changing the pH of their blood.

i put it on his neck. he has medium length fur so i have to part it to get it to his skin. maybe i am not doing it right... this is the 2nd time ive done it and hes still grooming/scratching himself. the vet said there is a prescription one but it requires an exam which is $40...plus cost of the med

Just finished watching Inside Out, it was really good but made me teary eyed, another excellent flick from Pixar!

What are you up to?

I'm glad you got to avoid that person. I'm sorry Toby still has fleas.

so i went out and went to visit my dad for lunch. but he was still working. then i missed him by a few min cause i went home. so i didnt get to see him. sucks.

now im tired. im home but wondering if i should have some coffee or itll make me sick. i still dont know if it was that theraflu or not but somethigg made me nauseated.

Didn't you have ice cream and are lactose intolerant?

yea but i was nauseated before the ice cream. and even before the 5 hr energy drink. i took the energy drink because i thought itd up my energy and take the nausea away. i thought the nausea was just from anxiety. thats why i took it.

crap. i still had a java chip from starbucks but i feel fine right now. im just really worn out.

My sister just dealt with this for her dog....she said with some of the meds they only kill fleas after the dog got bitten so she had to change meds to one that also repels.

Coffee can be really hard on my stomach which is part of the reason I use so much sugar in it. I'd stay away from it right now if you want to avoid nausea. Maybe some tea instead?

that reminds me. my sister was giving me a hard time because im on disability. she said i could make 4x as much working than being on it. she doesnt understand. neither does my mom. only my dad understands. it makes me really sad. she works in a psych hospital too...now my view of hospital workers are forever skewed because of her. she was talking about the different people that come in there and feed off the system. theres truth to that but then she said "only a few of those people have actual disorders. the rest are feeding off the system". im sure she has a view of me thats skewed too. that makes me so sad to wonder that.

ive been wanting to cut again. so badly.

yea tea sounds good

interesting, thank you... i will do some more research

is it weird to say i feel psychotic? im just noticing relapse symptoms but i cant help but believe them. the paranoid ones and voices. theres no way they cant be real! but then theres that little thought in the back of my head that always read "you have an illness! everything is paranoia to you!". but theres abosulutely no way it cant be real...i dont understand.

Hey everyone! Glad to see everyone is feeling better.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

im feeling anxious. im trying to tell myself its not a sign of something terrible..

I'm trying to decide if I want to renew my restraining order. It's against my sister and she'll be getting out of jail soon. Part of me thinks she'll just stay away but the other part screams to have it. She threatened my kids and mama don't play when it comes to my kids ya know? Meh I guess I'll renew it, it's worth a day in court for my own peace of mind. Guess I just needed to type this out lol. Who needs enemies when you have family, eh.

hOW IS THE GOVERNMENT NOT Surveilling aMERICANS!?

it lowered my spelling of surveilling I feel that's a possible sign.

everytime I say something DOOR2015 reads my mind. that's a sign.
a good sign I think. I think shes on to something.

IM SURVEILLED. ImM UNDER SURVEILLANCE.

tell me how I'm not. I truly believe that this whole thing is sorta like the matrix and the only thing different is that we are under government surveillance. each amd every citizen and I me especially. because of my intellect. and secret knowledge like E.S.

Deleted the post. I'm keeping it in my notes because it was too much personal information.

no. stop newtus. no YOU STOP!

i took a seroquel now im in my bed holding moosoloni. toby is on the dresser. maybe its just stress from today at work. i dont want to get paranoid but my thoughts are trying to get me there. i think the prn is helping