Roll Call 64

I'm scared because of the construction going on outside. I'm not sure if I can get my cab. Or even sit on the steps.

im sitting in the waiting room. waiting for my therapist.

So am I!

Drinking expensive rum. Maybe it will lift my spirits

I had to walk down the hill. Coming back I'll have to walk up the hill. I hope I can make it.

Blueberry vodka

i can tell i'm getting old, i can't stand the taste of energy drinks anymore? but i keep right on buying them anyway.

There's only one instance in which I've ever drunk energy drinks, and that is in the form of Jagerbombs!

I suspect those days are over largely speaking though...

therapy went well. i told her all of my thoughts about the private investigator and being on tv and stuff and the us census lady tracking me down.

i've only had jagerbombs once in my life and it was an Experience. ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

I'm waiting for my taxi. That was the fastest therapy appointment I've ever had

why does binding yr chest have to hurt so much??????? hour and a half until i can breathe again

I opened up and told her I am on forums and that YALL told me to call her.

What did she say?

she thinks I don't trust her

"why did they tell you to call me?"

me: they were concerned for me

"why?"

me: because...just because I said I was suicidal

she asked me if i was suicidal or wanted to kill anyone i said no because i dont want to goto the hospital. then shes like "i dont think you trust me"

my old therapist at this same clinic called the cops on me 3 times. how am i gonna trust this clinic?

How did your appointment go Angelique?

Haha I'm the same, I can only drink Red Bull with Vodka or Jager!

whaaa red bull is good alone

Bah dum tsh! Sorry... the whole lifting your spirits while drinking spirits made me laugh!

I'll...I'll just go...

It reminds me too much of alcohol that it almost feels wrong drinking it outside during the day, or on my own or something like that. It's damn tasty with vodka and loads of ice. Even though the red bull kills the taste of the vodka completely. It's a psychological thing with me I reckon.

Just goes to show you can do a bit of walking and get outside (as you do for your appointments). Even if it's only for a 3 or 4 minutes. You could walk downstairs and sit outside for two minutes and do that twice a day. Then you could build it up each week adding more time. Guarantee it would help you big time and it would get easier. Easier on the pain, fitness and easier on the social anxiety of being outside.

Was talking to my pdoc today about those visual hallucinations I had a while back. He said it was a hypnogogic hallucination due to sleep deprivation. I told him I was sitting upright, listening to music at my desk on my laptop and I definitely wasn't drifting off. I thought it could have been an absence seizure or something but he disagreed, even though I've had full blown seizures before. He said my problems definitely aren't medical. I don't know how he could know that without doing an EEG. I was a little bit tiffed so I was.

"thank" my post if youre hearing voices right now or having paranoia
tell me

I cant thank my own post but I would if I could