Roll Call 64

The waiting was bad but it was over quickly. It was only about 20 minutes I think. It's over now! And I don't have to go anywhere until November! Thanks for asking.

"thanks" newtus

It's very hard for me to do that. I've thought about it before. Thank you, though. It's a good idea.

I'm a little paranoid about that clinic. And them having all my medical records that have Antisocial personality disorder on it when I don't even have that, I'm sure. I don't like not knowing what they're looking at.

Just trying to help

Glad your appointment went well!

You should apply for your records through freedom of information. If it's done similarly to here all you have to do is send a letter to a certain office, they might have an office dedicated to it in your clinic. Then just specify you want 'all records'. They'll photocopy them and post them out to you. That's what they do over here anyway. I got mine and you might be a bit dissapointed, they didn't really talk about diagnoses at all, just symptoms and a record of what you say, not really what they think.

Thank you, chickenfoot. Yes, I should get copies. I want to see what they're actually saying.

There's a loud fight going on downstairs. I hate that.

Go for it. It helped me get over that "what are they saying and writing about me' paranoia I had and it made me trust them alot more. THE BEST THING IS they're not allowed to ask you why you want the copies.

I need to do this. I'm sure they'll ask me. ill just say its for SSDI.

edit//
i think they would ask me why i want it and it would be for ssdi but for me too. personally.

so 2 people are hearing voices and/or are paranoid?

I'm startint to get a little bt ungrounded here. Voices telling me to kill people, specific people, they say if i don't do it they'll hurt my family

The energy drink I like is the starbucks one in the big can.

What do you guys think I should do? should I take a higher dosage of Effexor or stay. My evenings aredepressing. Really depressing. No SI's, but I feel like my head and face are heavy because of the depression. What to do what to do...

Whatever happens, I don't want my positive feelings to go away like they did with the SSRI's. life.

What I've been doing lately is on Tuesday, Saturday, and Sundays, I've been showing up at the library when it opens and star for a few hours, until I can't take it anymore and I go to a bar where I could write longer because beer lifts my mood. I know it's not the best thing to do but I don't know what else I could do.

voices voices everywhere and not a sound to spare.
paranoia everywhere and not a fear to spare.

welcome to my world

Bad place. I'm going to try get some sleep with my knife by my side. Sleep well everyoen

I got something by my side too. its not a knife though.
countries clash
voices clash
paranoia clash
delusion crash.
hallulejuah splash.

there's three of us counting me

(I tried just saying 3 but the filter said that was too short a message?)

oh i see!

I feel like such a bottomless pit when it comes to food. Ever since the end of summer.

enjoy the smashing grabbing of clashing crashing plashing mashing. roses on kittens. miitens in winter. red river ponies and clay figure whispers. blut smelting triangles melting. im ok.

me too. i gained 10 pounds. A LLOT. FAST

Yes, the weight is piling on me too. I hate it but I don't know how to get it off without vigorous exercise.

I have been too. I won't even admit to what I ate today. I'm disgusted with myself


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Well I liked your post, Newtus. No voices but some serious paranoia going on. I think my dogs are being tracked by PETA. Not sure what they want from me

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im disghusted wih myself too