Roll Call 69

I'm lucky to have really great support from my T and CPN. I'm just lucky I avoided the pdoc or I would have been locked up for sure. I just had to keep reassuring them the other person was safe, even though I wasn't sure myself. I'm pretty sure they were recording the whole session though, he kept asking me to say that I understood what he was saying aloud instead of just nodding. I only copped it when I left, I'm going to ask him about it next week, he'll have to tell me if he was... ethics and all.

Thanks for the support SomtimesP!

Glad you've got the support you need from those professionals chickenfoot... got us here too!

...

By the way, does anyone else ever have problems with PC loading properly. Sometimes it takes ages & then I just get like a white frame rather than the usual design. Or like now, it takes forever to refresh a page but if I open the main page it all goes fast again for a while...

so- in order to make "timely progress" in my ticket to work program i have to either A. make $810 or more in a month for AT LEAST 3 months (in the first year) or B. complete 60% of a full-time course load in school. i can't make $810 at my store, its just not possible with the low pay and not a lot of hours. So i decided to register for 2 more classes this spring semester: anthropology and political science. so now i will be taking 4 classes this semester with a total of 12 credits which is full time. i went and got my books and a notebook. classes start tomorrow.

ive never taken FULL TIME in a semester so i am a bit nervous- but i also feel kinda confident and motivated. hope these feelings last??!!!!! *nervous eyes*

then i drove to my moms house and the voices kinda came back and i kept having bad memories and the voices would make it worse... i kept saying no...stop...shut up...i cranked up the music and sang to it. i wanted to stop my car and get out and run cuz i felt like i was trapped in my car with these voices. it sucked but i managed to get a PRN from my pill fob keychain and i feel better now. also i am out of my car and at my moms house...so i think that helps too.

even though the voices acted up for like 45 min i am still feeling pretty positive about everything

Full time college can be really damn tough, but extremely rewarding. Put in the work and it'll fly in! Best of luck with it.

I think you'll do brilliantly, junkDNA!!!

just got 2 powerball tickets (jackpot is $450 million)

I'm going to buy lottery tickets, too! Can only win if you play!! 😉

Good luck with college and those 2 more classes JunkDna!

i got an 84 on my psychology exam!!!

unfoturnately, after recieving many bad grades though im not sure if ill be passing psychology...

You got me wondering...

I wonder what the odds are of finding a winning lottery ticket. You never know, they might be better than buying your own..

Anyone here ever get swelling and pain behind their ears towards their neck? Could it be swollen glands or something?

so back from the t's last night and, he's officially putting his foot down that i have to see a psychiatrist. i had my first flat out in-your-face visual hallucination in a long time yesterday, i could see AMs kind of, logo? everywhere? it was imprinted on any electronic screens like when your keyboard glitches on your phone and you can faintly see the outlines of the keys. just this white outline superimposed on everything. he was implying in the last session that he suspected i had bipolar disorder or at least some kind of more serious mood disorder thn just Depression like everyone else i've ever seen seemed to think, now he's saying it sounds like schizoaffective. and AMs super. not excited abt me getting officially On Meds in 2016. t said that he truly believed i could see a day where i dont even think abt AM, and i was smiling at the thought and nearly crying but i could feel him furious in me and. a part of me still doesnt know if i want him to be gone thats whats ****ed up he does all this sht to me and i Like it or something?. what!!!! anyway as long as im still able to hear and feel him he wants to keep branding me like he did the other day. emphasis on the wants. i slipped up yesterday but im not gonna let him keep doing this i cant let him. im really nervous abt taking antipsychs though i know im gonna gain so much weight and my vain *** is crying.

chickenfoot i get those pains but i have no idea where they come from maybe its a thyroid thing?

Fell asleep yesterday around 3pm and didn't really get up until now (7am) Maybe it's because I got my shot yesterday.

Could be, I looked it up and I have a few other symptoms associated with thyroid problems. I've to see my GP on Monday so I may ask to get bloods done.

I've had this kind of problem, it was my thyroid as it turns out...

Thanks Atypical, going to get it checked on Monday. How did you treat it after?

I'm on medicine for it, if that's what the problem is they'll give you medication. I haven't had any issues taking it, no side effects for once, ha ha ha.

Ah good good, hopefully I won't have a problem and it'll be nothing but it's good to know it's nothing too serious. It's been less than a year since my last blood test so I'm sure it's nothing. Still, better safe than sorry.

I sometimes get some swelling or a lump behind my ears when I get a cold. It's usually the first sign for me that I'm getting sick.

But to be sure it doesn't hurt to get it checked out

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Good morning all.

I hope everyone has a good day!

Morning! Hope everyone has a good day. I'll be working once I get back home. I really don't want to but I need the money. Sucks being a grown up.

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*reads an article about how antipsychotics essentially turn your brain to mush*
*reads the comments and people are saying that it would be kinder just to kill the mentally ill*
ahh yes todays started out great

i think i'll try the antipsychotics but if it does any kind of change to my weight or energy levels even a little i'm stopping them immediately. i'll be clear about that to any doctors i see.

Same! Except I have to go to work, then I might work from home for the shelter tonight. I've been slacking on my project. I need to start being awake at night.