Driven out of apartment by neighbors

They're taking a break. Thank God.

I heard sawing from my bathroom earlier. I have a huge fear that he's putting in pinhole cameras to video me in especially private times.

I am certain this is all real. As outlandish as it sounds. They started on January 2 or 3 with the wall pounding and floor stamping. Then they switched to triggering me.

Something new. They are whispering through the hole he made. I can't hear what they're saying due to my earplugs though. And yes, I do recognize this is a classic manifestation of psychosis. But I am convinced it's real.

It breaks my heart to not be believed.

I'd put €1,000 on it that it's psychosis.

^ They wouldn't need to saw for cameras. They would use a drill. In fact a saw would be pretty ****ing useless for anything involving floors/ceilings/walls.

How long until your appointment with your p-doc?

Angelique, we believe that this is all very real to you. We don't think you are making this up. The problem is that you can't tell whether or not it's psychosis, and many things you have said point towards an element of psychosis even if your neighbours are makings noises. (I do believe they are noisy neighbours, if nothing else...)

That's why it's important you see your p-doc today. You might just be surprised at the relief you could get if psychosis is playing a large role. Sure they might still be a bit noisy, but you won't be fearing for your life anymore etc.

We are just trying to help, angelique. I'm sorry this is happening and I want you to feel better. Please go see your pdoc and tell him everything... I understand the heartbreak of feeling like no one believes you... I believe you are in constant distress and are suffering. I just hope you will go see you r pdoc and try an increase in meds...just think of it as an experiment. If all of this stops then that's great! If it doesn't then there are options for that as well. I hope you don't think us not believing you is mean spirited or aimed to hurt you because I am sure i
That's not the case

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I know, I thought that too, about using a saw. But I figured it's probably some sort of knife that would make that noise.

Back when I actually was psychotic, I easily made holes in the walls and ceiling. There nothing behind the walls or ceiling except wiring and water pipes. So he could easily be using a knife. Or he might just be trying to scare me.

That's what I intend to do. Even though the triggering has been stopped mostly for about 2 hours now.

I'll talk about this and request additional meds. But what if the meds don't work and you all still don't believe me?

I know what they're trying to do, and I know why they're doing it. And I'm convinced it's real. I have evidence that it's real. But who's going to listen to a 3 hour recording? I have a few shorter ones but I didn't label them well. This is just a cluster@#$%, excuse my virtual language.

By the way, have your tremors gone away or not?

Nope, so I skipped the Cogentin today so far and I have fewer tremors. The Cogentin causes some really unwelcome side effects in my body so I have to choose now whether to take it for my anxiety and live with the tremors and jerks, or not take it and have some functions returned to normal. I forgot to mention the dry mouth is pretty bad too, even with lots of water drinking. It just totally dries me out.

Well definitely bring that up with your p-doc. There are other alternatives to Cogentin. I still think it's very strange that it should make your tremors worse though, but perhaps your p-doc can shed light on that.

You might find it relaxes you because it does ease your restlessness somewhat. I don't know...

If it's just a coincidence, there are better options for anxiety. An SSRI might be a good option. Worked really well for me.

I had a really bad reaction to Zoloft in 1994, so I'm very leery of the SSRIs. I'm not sure I want to try another. I don't want to be stuck in here with cabin fever and being too afraid to go out driving because I'm on new drugs. Everything feels impossible at the moment.

Sorry I'm so down, Loial. I don't mean to shoot down good suggestions. Just freaked out right now.

@junkDNA when I wrote that last part, I meant my situation, nothing to do with you!

These colonel cluster**** sure don't stop, do they? :P What a bunch of no-life ****. Sorry for the bad language but it's beyond ridiculous at this point.

If they truly pierced holes the walls to spy on you, call the police Angelique because they just incriminated themselves! Tell them your story and there are your proofs, you don't pierce holes in walls for no reason.

If they really pierced holes, they messed up big time.

Your appointment with your pdoc must be soon, isn't it? Good luck!

Thanks, Lazarus. I'm at the clinic now, waiting. I'm not sure if the pdoc will even believe this is real or a psychosis. I'm worried he'll think I'm manipulating for drugs.

When I went outside the freak popped out as he always does when I'm out there. Acted like the cheerful neighbor. I told him I don't know who he is.

There was ice on the outside stairs. I don't think I can make it now to my opthalmology appointment in ice or snow

On Monday.

Don't worry about the drug seeking part, pdocs know everyone hates APs so if you're asking for them you really must need them.....

I hope so, sp. I don't even know how to start explaining this. Thank you. I'm scared.

I told my pdoc and he believes me! He said this kind of thing happens all the time over arguments about one thing or another. He did raise my Abilify to 15 mg though. He said after a thing like this starts happening the paranoia can get worse.

That's great! Glad everything worked out for you

Thank you, sp! I was so glad. He said situations like this happen all the time, especially I guess in low rent areas.

He said it would be too much trouble for them to kill me. So I shouldn't worry about that.

Not sure how much he believed about them triggering me now, but I don't think he thought it was too far fetched seeing as how all parties have been here 5 years. He said they're trying to drive me out, but I shouldn't do anything rash or make any quick decisions. He told me to explore my options and try to get on the waiting lists for 55+ buildings, since that's what I said might be better for me. He said the waiting lists can be a year or over.

Relieved he said they won't kill me. But he believed the pounding and stamping stuff, I guess because he's heard of that happening before.

That's good.

Hopefully the Abilify will take the edge off what is going on & allow you to resolve it somehow.

Did he say anything about the tremors?

So glad you went and talked about it. You should feel proud of yourself! I agree that stuff like this can ramp up paranoia. Like loial said I hope the ability increase can make u less anxious and frightened.

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Yes, he's trying me on something else, I think. Not sure. He had me hold out my arms and I forgot to tell him I hadn't taken it since yesterday afternoon.

Thank you, DNA! Yes, I was so full of anxiety about going, but so glad he believed me. I would have been so upset about losing reality if he hadn't.