Roll Call 70

hehe, prob shouldnt get blackbeards ghost!!!!!! i will be seeing T right after and im not sure hed like it if i smelled like alcohol (plus i dont drink usually... been over a year since i have drank anything)

think im gonna go for the burger and get the fried egg on it.. with FRIESSS

Went to group today. We're working on dream boards or something I forget what she calls it. Basically you go through magazine and clip out and glue words, quotes or pictures of things that you want in your life in the future onto a big sheet of paper.

Tried calling my mom, can't get a hold of her.

The yoga dvd I ordered that SP recommended came today. Now I just have to wait for the yoga strap and block to come, they may take awhile.

I'm trying to eat healthy.

Got access to my class now online so I guess if I want to get started on some of the work I can which I'm happy about

think im gonna stop vaping for awhile because my chest has been hurting right in my heart area. just above.

Oh wave of fatigue, I love you so..

How are your anxiety levels? I would hazard a guess that that could be the cause...

Are you still using the 24 mg nicotine-----aside from effects on lung cancer etc from smoking there is a lesser known effect on the heart with nicotine....that isn't going to change with vaping because its the nicotine itself.

You could always start without the strap and block---you won't be able to do everything but you can get a feel for it...

or you can substitute household things for now! i dont have any proper blocks or straps but i use books or pillows for blocks and belts/towels for straps if i need them

I lost my sense of humour today, just drop by to say hope you guys are doing okay

AAAAAAA i had an idea for a web comic about mental illness but in kind of a light-hearted slice of life/adventure story? omfg character design time. i already have one who's a genderfluid person who believes theyre an alien. which may be loosely based on one of my old delusions. hhehe

Talked to the nurses station, turns out my mom has been sleeping all day which is why she hasn't answered the phone but she's doing good

How are you doing, 12? Do you feel like talking about it?

Reading over a bit of my roll call posts last year before the last hospital. Quite interesting like more so than I thought. It's really weird and could probably help me a lot.

Edit: .. Omg.. Omg be careful if you do this because wow that brings back bad memories..

Training again tonight. I really just want to go to bed but oh well. The money will be nice!

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yes i am still smoking 24mg. i went up from 6mg because nicotine calms me down a bit and helps me wake up in the morning.

maybe i should switch back to 6mg?

I vape 18mg which seems nice. Try medium.

A lot of writers in the past 100 years smoked nicotine and drank coffee (Stimulants). I become more ...

Myself

My mom threw away my vape so I bought another one :/

I think you should....

I went up from 6 back to 18 mg. It gives a better throat hit.

same reason i went from 6mg to 24mg

the restaurant was so fancy!!!! it was like tapas style. so we did end up getting the waffle thingy. heres a pic we also got the drunken chicken, the ultimate burger, hush puppies, and oyster poboy...

after that i went to game night and we played sentinels of the multiverse,

now im getting ready for bed!!!!!

Sorry guys but that is absolute BS. That's just an excuse... believe me I've used enough of them to justify my addiction over the years.

You went up to higher nicotine levels because you are addicted & weren't getting enough nicotine from 6mg.

PS - the reason nicotine calms you down is because you get anxiety from short-term withdrawals. It doesn't help anxiety, it just cures the anxiety it creates in the first place, albeit temporarily.

No ones saying they aren't addicted to nicotine. I know I am. But as with vaping, it does have a better throat hit.

agh. i keep waking up earlier and earlier every day so far. 7am. 6am. 5am. now 4am.

^ Yeah, I've had a few early awakenings the past week or so. I had been sleeping pretty well for the past few months too, so it's a bit disappointing.