[OctobersBlackRose]

Sorry, I just don't post here, but maybe you guys have some opinions on how to help with this situation.
Anyway, I've been hearing derogatory command and non command voices. They have been telling me I'm worthless, and telling me to kill myself etc. They are quite disturbing and are very distinct voices/personalities. Also I've been seeing stuff like a man wielding a life in my room, or a presence who I call shadow man who wants to hurt me. I've been convinced I'm going to die this year before I turn 25, and no one can convince me otherwise, it has gone from a fleeting thought to full on believing it and I'm scared to tell anyone with fear I'll be threatens with hospital again. Idk what to do, I believe people can hear my thoughts, and are even puting thoughts into my head. Idk what to do, I believe this stuff whole heartedly, and frankly Im scared, idk what's happening to me. I had to go off Latuda due to it stopping working on me and am now on 20mg of Abilify. It's calming the agitation I get, and some anxiety, but idk if it's working in the other symptoms yet or if I'm experiencing"breakthrough" symptoms. Sorry for the rambling rant, I can't think straight right now, too many thoughts in my heat at the moment. So if anyone can give me some advice/opinion, that'd be great.

[cincidak]

Definitely talk to your pdoc and be completely honest about what's happening to you. You probably just need a med adjustment. I'm sorry you experiencing these distressful voices. I hope your pdoc can do something to help.

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[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by cincidak

Definitely talk to your pdoc and be completely honest about what's happening to you. You probably just need a med adjustment. I'm sorry you experiencing these distressful voices. I hope your pdoc can do something to help.

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I plan on mentioning them to my therapist first as I see her Monday, then I'll mention the. To my pdoc in July when I see her, I just hope she doesn't threaten me with hospital again. I have mentioned d the voices before, and we're treating that, so she does know about them, it's the couple of other things I wrote about that I haven't told her yet out of fear of hospital, and wondering if she'll believe me or not...

[cincidak]

I'm thinking she'll believe you. Why would you lie? Glad you are speaking to her Monday. Don't forget that if it becomes unbearable to go to the emergency room. I know none of us like to do that, but I always look at it as just part of the process of feeling better. I think of it as a mini vacation away from the house. I get to eat and snack three times a day at least. No coffee though, which stinks. Plus I like the structure of groups. I know , I weird,lol. If you have to go try not to let it bother you, just think of it as part of the process. Plus it's just temporary.

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[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by cincidak

I'm thinking she'll believe you. Why would you lie? Glad you are speaking to her Monday. Don't forget that if it becomes unbearable to go to the emergency room. I know none of us like to do that, but I always look at it as just part of the process of feeling better. I think of it as a mini vacation away from the house. I get to eat and snack three times a day at least. No coffee though, which stinks. Plus I like the structure of groups. I know , I weird,lol. If you have to go try not to let it bother you, just think of it as part of the process. Plus it's just temporary.

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Yeah, I have no reason to lie, my therapist should believe me, and it'll give me practice to tell my pdoc in July what's been happening, I don't think it's bad enough to go to the ER at this moment, but I know if I need to go I'll at least go to my counties crisis center, a.bit of a drive, but they have more of a eaiser evaluation system and connection to hospitals. It just sucks as I have go through a med change before memorial day, and maybe we just need to increase the dose of my Abilify. But hopefully the voices and visual hallucinations start to go away even more soon, they aren't as bad as they were back in April and May, but they're not gone yet, and are still distressing. So I'm doing my best coping with then, music helping to block them out when they get bad.

[cincidak]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Yeah, I have no reason to lie, my therapist should believe me, and it'll give me practice to tell my pdoc in July what's been happening, I don't think it's bad enough to go to the ER at this moment, but I know if I need to go I'll at least go to my counties crisis center, a.bit of a drive, but they have more of a eaiser evaluation system and connection to hospitals. It just sucks as I have go through a med change before memorial day, and maybe we just need to increase the dose of my Abilify. But hopefully the voices and visual hallucinations start to go away even more soon, they aren't as bad as they were back in April and May, but they're not gone yet, and are still distressing. So I'm doing my best coping with then, music helping to block them out when they get bad.

Yeah music helps me two. I listen to Pandora music online. I punch in the music composer Hans Zimmer and I get movie theme music. Very relaxing to me. Or John Williams whom wrote the scores for all the Star Wars movies. I also go to a crisis center in my city when things are really bad instead of the hospital. The people there are really nice, and I feel safe. I haven't had to go in two years. Last time I went I stayed for five days. I left when I felt ready, there was no rush to get rid of me. In fact they were almost reluctant to see me leave. They thought I might benefit from a few more days as I was still slightly hypo manic when I left. I calmed down though and was fine. Please take care of yourself, and don't wait till this go become unbearable before you go to get help. Peace to you my friend

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[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by cincidak

Yeah music helps me two. I listen to Pandora music online. I punch in the music composer Hans Zimmer and I get movie theme music. Very relaxing to me. Or John Williams whom wrote the scores for all the Star Wars movies. I also go to a crisis center in my city when things are really bad instead of the hospital. The people there are really nice, and I feel safe. I haven't had to go in two years. Last time I went I stayed for five days. I left when I felt ready, there was no rush to get rid of me. In fact they were almost reluctant to see me leave. They thought I might benefit from a few more days as I was still slightly hypo manic when I left. I calmed down though and was fine. Please take care of yourself, and don't wait till this go become unbearable before you go to get help. Peace to you my friend

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Thank you for the reply and the encouragement, it definitely helps, luckly I do have a therapy appointment Monday, and I'm going to talk to her a little more in depth about all of this, and see what she says, she already knows some stuff, but not all of it. So I'll see how that goes.