Roll call 81

I've been updating my wordpress blog by pasting the past into it from my posts on here.

Sorry everyone for having to read all that stupid bull **** in 2015. That's not me. It's not me at all.

I'm so calm.

If I stay on my meds, I don't think I'll ever get psychosis again.

Could be hypnogogic hallucinations @ ofthevalley =] They are more prominent when you have psychosis as well in my experience.

They can be pretty intense hallucinations..

I kind of ****ed up. The job I got an interview for is not exactly what I thought it was. I didn't look at the job description and it turns out I need to know a load of therapy models for it, which I don't. So now I'm furiously researching haha. I'm such a goof

Morning morning all. Had a healthy breakfast and worked out already. Woke up with stomach pains, I think from anxiety, but they seem to be subsiding.

Almost time to leave werkkkkkkk

My moms visiting for a couple days tmrw.

Last nite was really rough with my sister. I heard her talking to her voices at like 5am. And some other strange things happen.

I worry for.my moms safety and my sisters wellbeing...

It makes me incredibly sad.

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Took my first dose of Geodon waaayyy too early, 4pm is way too early for my nightly dose, so gotta have something to snack on cause I eat dinner around 4pm everyday. It did keep me asleep from like 5-10pm though, I'm on 40mg for 15 days, though the pharmacy gave me only 8 pills and a partial refill instead of 15 pills, idk why, (Hell my Lamictal is still on hold). And after 15 days I go to twice.dayly on the Geodon, which I feel better having an AP twice a day rather than once a day, cause when it wears of on single.doses, some of my symptoms do come back, not all but some. Hopefully this med works, I just couldn't handle the worsening insomnia, and it not helping or possibly making my depression worse on Abilify...

I kind of ****ed up. The job I got an interview for is not exactly what I thought it was. I didn't look at the job description and it turns out I need to know a load of therapy models for it, which I don't. So now I'm furiously researching haha. I'm such a goof

My internet is down, damn it. And the hold time for calling in is over half an hour. I was on my other phone and couldn't wait.

Morning. Hope everyone is having a good day. My husband I'd off today so we are just hanging out untily sons ortho appt. after that we are going to go look at new to me cars. I'm thinking a Subaru.

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This morning around 5 I saw a cat in my room which was odd since my cats don't come downstairs. I got up to check on her and there was nothing there. I can't be adding random visual hallucinations to the mix. Seeing one when the voices yell is enough. I don't need to be seeing them when all is quiet.
Does that sound like a visual hallucination to you? Or maybe just a sleepy mistake? She was so damn real.

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So many appointments coming up. See my psych NP tomorrow, shot Thursday, counselor Friday, Dentist next Tuesday then Nutritionist the day after that.

Really need to clean my apartment. May do that or attempt to today. I don't really have any cleaning supplies but I can manage just have to motivate myself.

Played my violin in group today, was a little less nervous than I usually am.

Can't wait till Autumn when the weather cools off. Its HOT!

How is everyone doing? Hope you're all well. Boyfriend has been moved in for a week now, there have been a couple of ups and downs but mostly we're doing really well. I may have to change pdocs my doctor moved her practice so I'm probably going to have to take a cab for this visit because I don't even have my car right now but can barely drive anyway. It's going to be costly but I need some time to find a new doc.

I'm super bored at work right now and I have like an hour left---my boss is out of town so more or less everyone is skipping out. I left early yesterday but feel to guilty to skip out again today. My mom was asking me what I'm going to do next year when I lose my job and I just don't know---I would really like to retrain---I'm thinking computer science...but its a big field and I don't know what I really want to do when I get out or if I even need a real degree....boyfriend is in IT but without a comp science degree and he gets along well. it would be nice to just take off 6 months to a year and just learn on my own but I'm not sure how practical it is....

On the plus side no signs of psychosis and I have to say my anxiety is way less being in a stable relationship---it's pretty nice

Being taken off of Abilify cause it may be too activating and causing some of my insomnia, and instead my psychiatrist is putting me on Geodon, which I haven't been on since middle school. Also I took that gene test thing to see what meds matabalize well in my body and out of the APs Abilify was one of the worst to work in my body (I'm on 20mg, but it is working only like 10mg) and Geodon was one of the best to matabalize in my body, so we'll see.how being on this one works for both my BP symptoms (mainly depression) and my psychotic symptoms, along with seeing how well it sedates me at night...

oh sorry you a woke with stomach pains, i hope you get well tomorrow