Roll call 81

I'm not a vegetarian again lately, but I am wincing and cringing every time I eat meat. I can't cook because I can't stand up long enough to prep and sautee a bunch of veggies everyday. Just one more major reason to feel awful about myself.

Everyone must be feeling better since this past spring. Almost everyone stopped posting here and it hasn't really recovered. I'm glad so many people are doing better this spring and summer. 🎂

I know I'm feeling better----I still check in from time to time but I feel like for me dating was key to my recovery it really keeps my mind someplace else. Here are a few pics from a sculpture and japanese garden about an hour away that we went to last weekend

T won't believe me. I went to see my np. She wrote Mr a script for 60 klonopin. She kept asking I'd I'm suicidal I kept saying no I'm just mad and upset. Idk about this klonopin stuff yall

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

Try not to use the kpins too much. They're a very nice easy wave of comfort which is dangerous for many of us. The last thing we need is another addiction.

I just realized it's only Tuesday. I need the delivery person to come tomorrow in order to give my mail a wide berth. I need them to get my mail. So then tonight maybe I'll have pasta if I can find it easily. If I can't, I'll have eggs. The kitchen is disorganized from packing stuff.

Are you moving now?

Not yet, thank you for asking. I'm in moving limbo because I'm not yet sure I can manage the higher rent for elevator buildings. I need one though for extremely basic reasons, and I can't carry on living here if I can never again do the stairs on my own.

I asked for a job at a grocery store and they asked for a resume.

I'd have to deal with so many people though... the anxieties..

I can work 2-3 days a week and make an extra 800 dollars or so a month for total 2400 income.

I'm thinking about what sort of part time jobs I can do, sitting down. If I could only get a part time job it might pay the extra rent in a good building.

There's lots of online jobs available such as even writing peoples resumes for them and getting paid for it.

i texted T that the np gave me 60 klonopins. he sent "Do not take the klonopin." he mad........... he realyl supported me tonight at work though. im going thru rough times folks and i feel misunderstood and no one believes me... ur psychotic ur psychotic ur paranoid...omg shut up!!!!!!!!!!! im scared

Can I tell you a secret...
I haven't taken my tablets for two nights now.
I'm seeing how long I can get away with it. I'm convinced I would be fine without them. I've been fine so far. I don't need them

They're still in your system. Why mess with them if you're doing well? I've done this several times and you don't notice until you're back in the psych hospital. I hope it doesn't get that way for you but I would rethink it

Holy crap, I got a filling today at the dentist, they were going to do two today and then the others on a different appointment but this one ended up taking 2 hours, yes 2 hours

I will have a couple more appointments to get everything else done. Can't wait till I'm over this. I told the hygienist I have an anxiety disorder which is why I was shaking so much and she said she had one too and was on meds for it also, she was really sweet

Im doing ok , I post , because I feel at least 50% of what I say is helpful

Thank you blue bird, I talked to my bf and realised I was sabotaging myself. You're right it never ends well. Thank you for your support

Seriously dont mess with your meds justme. I was very anti meds for a long time and I went into a serious downward spiral with 3 hospital admissions from coming off my depot. I'm still not right. Stay safe.

Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow.. He doesn't know about the other research chemicals and weed yet so I have to tell him..

So I planed what I'm going to say depending on topic;

Research Chemicals
- I sleep twice as much as anyone else without stimulants and still tired with Concerta. But that's ok now. Other stimulants don't work significantly well just like more than 2 Concertas.
- Bought THC and put it in my vape and had a "first time" reaction and went to the ER.
- Combined with Ethylphenidate which I used to stay awake.
- Recently buying medical marijuana

Referral to a sleep Doctor in the future
- Side of my forehead is dark. I don't know if I have to see a dermatologist in case it's serious.
- Magnesium deficiency

Abilify
- Still taking the 10mg oral Abilify.
- Will stay on it because the highest risk of relapse is discontinuing Abilify after 1-2 years and I've been on the injection for 1.5 years).
- Risk of Diabetes.
- Bit of weight gain (Will it increase?)
- Maybe switching to Aristada

Prescription
- Abilify 400mg every 3 weeks
- Abilify 10mg every day
- Concerta 72mg
- Vitamin D 1mg
- Fish oil triple strength (Prescribe this).

- What can be done about my future
- Lack of emotion recently greater and what can be done about it

I hope you'll get a lot of helpful feedback with your appointment, Tweaky.

I can't seem to access my profile page, I have no listings of friends or a visitors page.

T told me to give him the klonopin

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

All my classes done for my first day of college! Went to bible class, u.s. history, and english composition. All the classes seem nice, although the course-load for u.s. history looks to be big. I'm just waiting to get picked up and taken home - since im living off campus and don't have a drivers license im still dependent on my parents getting me home and dropping me off on campus.

Lets hope tomorrow is even better. Only one class, a three hour psychology 101 class.

That's wonderful, falcon!

No... give me the Klonopin!!!!

Or tweaky, we have a mutual respect for these things.

Seriously though, benzo's have no recreational value for me for some reason.

I've never felt such a high in relief from taking 0.5mg Klonopin after being up for 3 days before the worst panic attack of my life due to Prozac induced mania. I just melted in my bed =]

I have to say 10mg Diazepam IV was a beautiful feeling.