Barely any antipsychotics worked, am i really schizophrenic?

Took pretty much everything except abilify, clozapine and a few. Only ones that came the closest to working on me is olanzapine. Yet it still doesnt reduce my tendency to suspect people at times. I was on a verge of relapse recently when someone from my support chatgroup divulge all the personal things i shared and spread to others, make fun and parody out of it at a popular forum.

From then on i start to keep checking out that forum to see whether there are topics related to what i shared in the chatgroup, and it turns out that even strangers there knows about my personal issues and they are making fun of it. I strongly believe someone from my support chatgroup has been deliberately sabotaging me all along.

Apart from the virtual online world, i also experience real life situations where i was being mocked and ridiculed, like this little kid who happened to walk towards me deliberately acting like she is crying, when in fact i believe she is trying to make me the subject of her parody. I stretched out my legs and attempted to trip her down. But i didnt made enough contact with her legs, so i was very angered, anxious and paranoid

There is also this lady who is trying to contain her laughter behind me while she was texting with someone, i believe its related to me as well, although it could also be something else.

The situation at my workplace also triggered me a few times, whereby i was being mocked and laughed by other staffs for exhibiting socially anxious mannerisms.

I also began to hve flashbacks of the past where my fked up neighbours used to mock me and my family...this could also be happening 1 year after moving out, with funny sounds and laughters starting to be heard.
It was also nearly as bad as in 4 yrs back when all the mental abuses from the public made me plan to murder all the perpertrators.

But in spite of all these, i am still in quite a stable state and just able to function properly.
My pdoc put me on the expensive invega and olanzapine, but i still dont feel any difference from the former. I am now relying on benzos to cope with extreme anxiety and emotions. But i am wondering, why is my diagnosis schizophrenia when almost all the antipsychotics didnt work out?

Nobody actually know what's going on in the brain with "schizophrenia," "schizoaffective," "bipolar," etc. The brain differences between people with these labels and those without these labels can often be explained by other factors, the big one being brain changes caused by psychiatric treatment. Other factors include: drug abuse, stress, malnutrition, head injuries, etc.

If you'll notice...they don't do blood work or a brain scan when you're diagnosed (usually) or during treatment. I had to go to a hospital once, a teaching hospital...they did a brain scan...and my treatment was the same as it would have been anywhere else. They just did the brain scan to seem scientific, and because I had good insurance.

Not everybody responds to antipsychotics/neuroleptics/tranquilizers. Something like 1 out of 3 people with a label of "Schizophrenia" don't get any benefit from antipsychotics.

Some people just do better with the benzodiazepines. Those are tranquilizers that work on GABA. The "antipsychotics" are tranquilizers that work on Dopamine receptors, specifically D2 receptors. Benzodiazepines can cause physical dependence, sometimes doses go up over the long haul, etc. Antipsychotics can cause far worse problems over the long haul, and they tend to be more expensive.

Diagnosis isn't all that important. The DSM is there mostly so the professionals can bill insurance, medicare/medicaid, etc., and to guide treatment. I'm labeled "Bipolar I" by my current shrink. My former shrink says its "Schizophrenia." The two of them also have different IQ estimates (my current shrink's IQ estimate is higher than my former shrink's IQ estimate, by over 10 points).

So...who's "right" ? What's my "real" diagnosis? Your "real" diagnosis? There's no way to test these things like you would with physical problems. No blood work, brain scan, lab work, anything.

I guess...do what works. Don't worry about the labels.

Hope this helps.

Antipsychotics don't work for 25% of people with sz......

They don't work for me, I don't take them.

Lamotrigine for depression
and benzos for anxiety related to all the weird stuff. But I want to try to take gabapentine instead of benzos everyday and only use benzos for extreme stress.

They'll do an MRI to rule out brain tumors or physical illnesses that may be causing your symptoms. I had one, it's not just 'to seem scientific'. It should be the norm when people present with those kind of symptoms but it's expensive.

But...that's the point...if the MRI turns up problems, then you're referred to a different docotor...what I'll call a "real doctor."

If your brain is more or less normal, the witch doctors...err, psychiatrists...pump you full of drugs to change your brain, even though your problems clearly don't come from your brain.

I think some symptoms of psychosis are more receptive to treatment with anti-psychotics such as hallucinations, voices, etc. However delusions which are experienced over long periods of time, be it from occasional or persistent psychosis become a part of who we are and how we operate. Aspects of an illness that change our perception and habits for long periods of time should not be expected to stop with medication alone. I think this is an area where therapy is critical to breaking down those perceptions and habits.

I think sometimes the T's and Pdocs and us as clients too, sometimes fail to realize how much of our dis-function is from a mental illness, and how much of it is based in life experiences or trauma. We can do things for "real reasons" that also look like symptoms of a textbook illness. So many different disorders look very much alike, and some of these very similar disorders have very different mechanisms for existing. While one illness may be mostly comprised of brain chemistry/structure abnormality, and another may be entirely due to life experiences.

It must not be forgotten where symptoms carry parallel purpose either. For example having a very real reason to fear something, and having that same fear as a function of a mental illness. Say for example a schizophrenic person who was stalked and kidnapped in heir past. They fear anything that even remotely resembles that event or circumstance. They also could fear those same things as a function of paranoia from psychosis.

When considering effectiveness of anti-psychotics I think a person has to look at the entire list of positive and negative symptoms of psychosis. Which symptoms are being experienced without meds? Which symptoms are being experienced while taking meds?

I firmly believe that some symptoms simply can not be medicated away, especially if they have existed long enough to become a part of who we are and what we expect to happen in life.

Being misdiagnosed and/or having multiple major disorders comorbid may cerainly make treatment seem to be ineffective, be it medicine or therapy. Think of a person with borderline being treated with SZ methods,or a person with DID being treated for SZ, or Bipolar.

Lets face it. How long dos the pdoc take to DX you and prescribe meds? An hour or so? And if they are like the pdocs I've seen they were only interested in symptomology and not in life events. Without the whole picture, how could the difference be determined between say borderline and did or schizophrenia? The short answer is they may well be wrong. But they don't question their dx, they up the dosage or try more of the same kind of drugs thinking that you are just resistant to drugs. Maybe you are, nd mybe you don't have the particular disorder they are trying to treat.

I agree totally with you, also I think there is a trauma-base form of schizophrenia or a C-PTSD subtype of schizophrenia, because you fit the schizophrenia criteria more than anything, you don't respond to antipsychotic and your delusion and hallucination are deformation of past traumatic experiences, but you don't fit the PTSD or any of that, you don't even have anxiety, you have primary psychosis from trauma, trauma was turned into psychosis that completely fit schizophrenia criteria, as well as it can be turned into a dissociative disorder.

I believe a certain people with schizo have this traumatic schizo.

There's also multiple drug approaches to dealing with things. I'm currently diagnosed Bipolar I, but other former "professionals" swear up and down its "really" Schizophrenia. So...

...I take 30mgs/Abilify daily. I also take 2 anti-epileptic drugs (normal dose Trileptal, low dose lamictal) for mood and agitation. I was still having problems, so my doctor added Wellbutrin. The antidepressant cleared up many of my remaining problems. Wellbutrin isn't used as much in "Schizophrenia" as in "Bipolar I" because it tends to be somewhat stimulating.

So, whether I "really" have Schizophrenia or Bipolar I, the addition of a mildly stimulating depression drug helped me with lingering voices and other problems.

Of course, the shrink looks at that and says "Based on how you responded to Wellbutrin, I think you have psychotic depression." Thing is...again, no blood work, no brain scan, and multiple opinions.

Where do the symptoms come from, if not your brain?

I got very close to a relapse today, could barely control my anger and paranoia even with 3mg invega and 5mg olanzapine. There was this father & son couple using me as a reference point for their mockery and laughter, i also hear my name being called by my ears. My senses and thinking are firmly rooted but i felt snappy and raged when someone mentioned my name. I strongly believe that my paranoid thoughts are true. I dk what to do now, dont wish to be warded but one day i might just snap who knows.

Have you tried taking a moderate-to-high dose of just 1 antipsychotic? Maybe with a benzodiazepine?

I just barely managed to get by today without resorting to anything violent. But those negative feelings are too much for me to even bother taking meds. Maybe i will double up the dosage tonight and see how it goes

I've tried basically every antipsychotic. Typical and atypical. I'm too scared of clozaril. It's the only one I haven't tried. I got the side effects but nothing more. No help. I'm just on Wellbutrin, Xanax and zofran (my stomach starts turning easily under stress). I keep reading and watching everything I can because I feel like it'll keep me here if I see other people and know I'm not "crazy" or alone. But then the other half of the time, everyone's an actor (online and real life) and just pretending.