roll call 89

Oh, okay. I hope you didn't throw out your meds. You never know what you might want to do later in the week.

Oh yeah, no havent tossed them. I've tossed meds before and regretted it almost instantly. Learned my lesson there!

I feel SO GOOD but also kind of wrong. So we'll see hahahaha.

I should take them....

I had a pretty good day at work because I got some more assignments. Also i chatted with someone and i think it went well.

@willow- i am so sorry and shocked! Is there any intermediate level of care in the UK? Less than hospitalization, but more than home independently, that you could petition for? (I am thinking of adult foster care homes that we have in the states, i don't know if you would know what that is)

I took my pill.

If I had a good therapist, could afford it and had the time I would go just because. It's always nice to have someone that is there to support you and knows ways in which to help. I'm thinking about going to see mine again. Ill just have to see her ont he weekends though. I really need her help getting my financial life back together. I basically commited life suicide where I just dropped the ball completely for a year because my illness was so bad and I don't know how to pick it back up. I have a job, a place to live, and a car, with a couple grand saved up, but my credit was murdered and I'm indebt up to my eyeballs. I wonder if a therapist can help me there. she is a social worker...

There are two types of mania, regular extreme mania and a more mild one called hypomania which is kind of nice to be honest... Do you have noticiable mood swings and only in psychosis when manic? Mood stabilizers are much better to take than antipsychotics I believe... If you could just be on one of those I think that would be super but what do I know

I've had moments throughout life with depression and then a high mood I might classify as hypomania. But my old doctor never believed me thought it would be side effects or something.

This might just be from not being on the meds for a couple days. Not sure.

I'll mention to my doctor for sure next I see 'em. Thanks. I really appreciate it.

I feel ok. Had a good day.

Back at the psychy ward for independent living.. 31st of May I leave for the airport then to Toronto at midnight then to Cancun.. Bought wedding clothes today.. Booked 5 day hotel for Christmas skiing.. I can't complain... I can't complain.. Good times await.. 20 years old.. Better than 19 when I was using uppers for my lows and downers for my highs every day for months.. Coconut rums on the beach.. Summer with my dad.. Tomorrow I start nicotine patches..

Life awaits..

<3

had a good yesterday until I got stoned

It's only Tuesday feels already like it should be Thursday

Good morning. Having a decent day. Kids got off to school better than usual. I miss them though.
It's beautiful out today. The next few days are supposed to be nice. I'm excited for the nice weather.
What's everyone got planned for the day? I don't have anything planned. I'm watching dr pol.

I agree. It's already been a long week.

Gonna ask for Wellburtrin it will help with smoking, suicidals and it's a stimulant..

Morning.

Having coffee. Thinking about going to Whole Foods and Target.

Major Interaction
bupropion ↔ lisdexamfetamine
Applies to:Wellbutrin XL (bupropion) and Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine)

BuPROPion may rarely cause seizures, and combining it with other medications that can also cause seizures such as lisdexamfetamine may increase that risk.

Nevermind..

Hello, got an eye doctor appointment next week. Getting a new pair of glasses! Not much going on. The weather is gorgeous today. Might read outside at one of the picnic tables later.

Im excited for the good weather too. I don't have a jacket or top layer for the smoke breaks. I'm really getting kind of lonely here. And the food - there's no word for it.

Yeah you definitely need the weather to warm up if you don't have a jacket. Brrrr. I'm sorry you are lonely

I'm going to Virginia beach tomorrow for a week. To stay with my friend
Excited

Thank you. I sat in the sun and it was gorgeous out. There's a beautiful woodsy looking area outside and the trees are breathtaking.

So there's a guy here who seems to be offering friendship, but what he really wants is a girlfriend. I have no idea why. I look in the mirror and I see a very homely woman. It's all very depressing. I liked everything better when I still bothered with makeup. I haven't had a rock in my left eye for weeks, and I can use eye makeup again I think.

Could not use it while I still had those awful rocks. I have no earthly idea what to do about clothes while I'm here. I guess just alternate between the two tops that aren't too tight.

I slept until 11am which is a big no-no. I'm just not doing so well
I have to try harder.

I just ignore when that happens. And it's happened a lot.. Girls would be like "I know I'm going to see you again in the future" or something like that or people would be shouting to a girl "You're a **** for chatting up the young patients".

It's like the only people that want to talk to me just want more than a friendship.

I also ignore everyone else. I don't say hi to strangers I just have no desire to because my mood is so stable.

On good psychedelic trip induced manias I was saying hi to everyone and talking. I wish I was just a little bit like that but idk if that's really who I am.

If only I was more outgoing but I think I'm getting there idk. I feel like the people that I could be friends with I have to talk to them first.

So my conclusion is that the people that start conversations with me first especially when I ignore everyone, they just want something from me. Whether it be money or something else.

Pretty interesting being in a social environment again..

Go quiet today on here.

Haven't been on here in a long while! Doing okay. Mostly working. Haven't been on any medications since last spring I think. Haven't seen any doctors either in all this time. I've been thinking of making an appointment with my old psychiatrist but I don't know still. Doing alright on my own so I might just see how long I can last.